I don't want much. I treat you with my true self, and I hope to exchange your true self for me. Such a simple need, but not a request. After the Spring Festival, my husband is no longer as cold as before the festival

I don't want much. I treat you with my true self, and I hope to exchange your true self for me. Such a simple need, but not a request.

After the Spring Festival, my husband is no longer as cold as frost as before the festival, as if the thick shell that tightly wrapped himself has been taken off, and the relationship between us has gradually become natural and slowly has a temperature.

I remember when we first got married, we had to go to his parents' house every week like we had to finish our homework, and the attitude of his parents, even if they didn't look up to us, we "had to" visit and honor them made me slowly start to resist. In their eyes, neither of us was as good as a bird who had graduated from elementary school and engaged in color affairs, and they unabashedly compared us to birds and bluntly said that we were not out of the woods.

One weekend, my husband couldn't help me, it was already four or five o'clock in the afternoon, and he couldn't go by himself. In less than an hour he was back. Actually, I didn't notice that he came back and locked the door. After a while, the old witch came to the door, and I knew that "breaking into trouble" was over. The old witch did not knock on the door, directly opened with the key, the husband could not stand it, he opened it. The old witch asked angrily, "Why don't you go to see me?" If you don't look at me, you have an opinion on me! He can look down on me, he can belittle me in front of his relatives, but I can't resist, everything has to be endured. But at that time, I was still quite confident, thinking that I could stay alone in a city and get a good job for myself, and I couldn't go anywhere. As a result, no one won a fierce quarrel, but it almost separated us.

My resistance is still a bit successful, and with the efforts of my husband, I can't go to the weekend to see the mood completely. But even if you don't want to, you don't have the courage not to go to the festival. However, if we don't follow their will, we still can't avoid being dumped. The husband is also slowly brave, if it is usual, once the face is thrown, the husband immediately gets up and leaves. During the festival, we tacitly endured.

Until four or five years ago, I discovered a P-bureau that lasted for more than ten years ~ one thing I had always suspected turned out to be a P-bureau, and the two old things not only did not feel guilty, but also sang and made the buckle more and more dead. Think about how you call a pair of P-sons Daddy and Mother, and endure their endless demonization, and feel like a clown being played by them. That sense of humiliation really can't be hidden.

In addition, I have begun to learn self-growth and become more and more self-sufficient, and at that time I swore that from now on, my fate has been exhausted, and I will not see each other in life and death, even at the cost of marriage. My husband also knows how much they hurt me, and no matter how unwilling he is, he also clearly respects my decision.

Later, every time we were close to the festival, we quarreled inexplicably, and once the festival passed, everything disappeared again. Therefore, when the holiday is getting closer and closer, my children and I will encourage my husband: go to the guillotine, want S to be casual, anyway, I can't control it, then let it go.

Slowly, I found that many of our quarrels were due to my husband's words and deeds at home, like his father and mother treating me falsely. That expression, that kind of language, always makes me feel like a fool. Maybe it touched my narcissism ~ I never admit that I was stupid, I would be particularly disgusted, and then Angry, and then there would be endless quarrels. Later, when there was a similar quarrel, as long as I was aware, I would confirm to him that it was not his father and mother who were looking for him. Ask, God is right! Of course, knowing the truth, I couldn't help but get angry, and then it was a scolding. That sense of humiliation made me lose my mind and let go of nothing, and the end was that all three of us were hurt, and it made us both grow colder and colder.

However, this interference cannot be controlled by him, and the superficial words of concern of his parents are actually the invisible control of his parents. Their aura is like a black cloud scattered in the corners of the home, making people feel that they are living under the surveillance of the pair of demons all the time ~ as if the son's life is a betrayal of them.

Fear is still not the courage to separate, can only slowly learn to be brave.

Years ago, my husband immersed himself in the game, his face full of indifference, feeling that he wrapped himself tightly and did not want to have the slightest intersection with me. Life as cold as an ice cellar really suffocated me, it was really painful. "Not reconciled"! These three words always haunt me. I talked to him, nagged, argued, to no avail, he said that I want to reform him, then it is doomed to failure. Our life is like his native family.

I don't think it's about reforming him, I'm just not willing, my true feelings are not seen, there is no response. You also have to cooperate with his "show" love. I really felt like I was being slapped down hard by life. Some things are really unattainable, and you can only accept reality.

This morning, I talked about my recent feelings, and I felt that his series of reactions before the Spring Festival were a bit like the holiday syndrome we had perceived before ~ when the festival was close to the festival, he was nervous and entangled, and then his state was like his father and mother. Unexpectedly, he no longer rejected, but also said his own entanglement: before in order to reduce the interference of his father and mother in our lives, he also tried to break the connection, but near the Spring Festival, he knew that he had to face them, plus they were also old, he would also worry about their health, but he did not dare to contact too much, afraid that he would return to the state of being brainwashed and controlled in the past. The struggle, the struggle, and the resistance weighed him down.

For the holidays, it was a robbery for both of us. After surviving one disaster after another, I really hope that the two of us can face each other more and more with our true selves and be honest with each other. Come on 💪!

Otherwise, what else can I do...