Follow her husband to his classmate's wedding, and then sing at the KTV at night, a large group of unknown people. The music was very noisy, and my husband was lying in my ear and shouting loudly: "Eat more fruit,

Follow her husband to his classmate's wedding, and then sing at the KTV at night, a large group of unknown people. The music was very noisy, and my husband was lying in my ear and shouting loudly: "Eat more fruit, anyway, we can't buy it anyway... At this time, the music stopped abruptly at the right time, which one was cut by a thousand knives, his mouth trembled, and the word "up" was swallowed back raw!

2. I was stealing snacks during class, and when I finished eating, I was discovered by the teacher. The teacher told me to stand up and asked, "Classmate XX, your mouth is moving, are you stealing something?" "I had a stroke of genius, and there's no evidence anyway." He hurriedly said, "No." The teacher said angrily, "Then what did your mouth move?" I hurriedly said, "Eat gum at the same table, I'm imitating." ”

3, listen to my mother, I just learned to walk at that time. Once I was running on the road and accidentally fell under the rock on the side of the road, which was about five or six meters high. When my dad rushed over and picked me up, I was rolling my eyes and taking only a faint breath, when my dad suddenly shouted: I'm going to eat your yogurt. And then I just came back to life.

4, I was playing with my mobile phone on the couch, my son came up to me and asked, "What is pirated?" "I thought about it for half a day, how to talk about such a professional problem? I said: Let's make an analogy, such as you, who look like me, are genuine. If you look like your mom's co-worker, you're a pirate!

5, I chased a girl, almost became that kind. Once, I got my girlfriend angry, and I was just about to go to coax, when my buddy pulled me in. He said, "This girl is angry, it's normal, in a few days it will be fine, you have to coax her now, it seems that you are very cheap." When the time comes, she will not cherish, woman, don't stick to her every day, listen to my right, and then go to coax her in a few days. "It makes sense when I hear it. I listened to my old buddies and left her out, and as a result, he became my buddy's daughter-in-law.

6, Xiao Wang called the manager early in the morning: "Manager, I have to go to work late today, and there is a little trouble at home." "What's the trouble?" "My wife lost 500 bucks, and she's looking for it." "She's looking for her, and it still affects you to work?" "No, that... The money was at my feet. "Haha!

7, in the hometown, the 6-year-old son wants to hide and seek with me, I hid him to find, and declared that I am not allowed to run around and play with Lai. I hid in the pigsty, waited for nearly an hour without moving, and went back to see that he was playing with my iPad.

8. When eating downstairs, the woman at the next table said to the man: Accompany me to drink some bar? The man said: You can't drink while driving. The woman listened to the man and said that he could not drink it, and said angrily: You don't drink me alone, anyway, I will see who kisses whom after drinking. I was just about to check out and leave, when I suddenly felt as if I hadn't eaten enough, so I ordered another one and sat down to eat. I ate for more than an hour in a row, my stomach was broken, I looked at the little young people who were nibbling at each other, checked out and left! Alas, the woman's words could not be believed!

9, the son reported a calligraphy class outside, the writing improved a little bit, a little bit of splery, but also looked down on his mother I wrote. One night my son brought back a test paper and asked me to sign it. I was busy in the kitchen, so I said to him, you put it first, I waited for the counter-signature, but my son was a little unable to wait, and said to me: "Mom, or I will help you sign it, I just need to deliberately write the words ugly." "I...

10, the girlfriend is a nurse, the company physical examination, she and a group of doctors to the company to do the examination of employees! In the blood draw link, I was fat, and I deliberately asked my girlfriend to draw blood. Sure enough, the girlfriend did not find a blood vessel for half a day. I was enjoying myself, and my girlfriend gritted her teeth and slapped me on the arm like crazy! Then, after I finished drawing blood, I found that a team of colleagues behind me was missing, and the window of another nurse in the whole row went...

1 You like to eat Western food, I like to eat roadside stalls, this is not called three views of discord. If you like to eat Western food, I say you pretend, I like to eat roadside stalls, you say I am low, this is the three views of discord. The real dissimilarity of the three views is that we cannot tolerate each other's three views.

12, the girlfriend is a northerner, that was the first time to go to her house! I talked to her until late at night. When I woke up the next day, my girlfriend had already prepared me delicious food! There are buns, flower rolls, peppery soup. I was eating, and my girlfriend was discussing: after eating, wait to accompany me to the mall and do nursing! I lost my phone and went to buy one. Thinking that he would not be able to come back for a while and a half, he asked her: Where do we eat lunch? Father-in-law. The mother and girlfriend were stunned at the time, the girlfriend took out the mobile phone, I looked at the time: it is now 11:38 a.m. it is buns, flower rolls, let me misunderstand.

13, just called to ask where the classmates are, the classmates replied: "At McDonald's." I said a polite cliché: "Hey, dude, what's delicious, I smell it." The classmate replied, "I'm queuing up in the bathroom!" ”

14, Xiao Fat family of three sitting in the living room watching TV, is watching the momentum, the mother wants to go to the toilet, Xiao Fat immediately turned off the TV. Dad asked, "Such a beautiful TV, how did you turn it off?" Xiao Chu: "It's because it's so good-looking, so I have to wait for my mother to come back and watch it together." ”