The sister-in-law is pregnant, and the man's family has been dragging on not getting married until the wedding is about to give birth! At the wedding, the sister-in-law had a big belly. I asked my sister-in-law's husband privately, "Sister-in-law look."

The sister-in-law is pregnant, and the man's family has been dragging on not getting married until the wedding is about to give birth!

At the wedding, the sister-in-law had a big belly.

I asked my sister-in-law's husband privately: "The sister-in-law looks like she is about to give birth, how can I delay getting married at this time, how inconvenient is it?" ”

Her husband smiled: "You don't understand, what kind of personality she doesn't know, at this time get married, in a few days she will be born, honeymoon will let her confinement, I don't have to accompany her around, how good." ”

I was stunned...

1, today in the company downstairs to eat, many white-collar workers are buying breakfast. As a result, the boss stopped me: "Did you pay the bill?" I nodded, "I bought it." The boss scratched his head: "How come I'm not impressed?" Me: "Two buns and a bowl of porridge, a total of four pieces of five, this is the piece of five you just found for me!" The boss said sheepishly, "I'm sorry, I misremembered!" ”

2, the brother-in-law is a rich second generation, the old man gave him a hundred million to let him break in, want to see how many pounds he has.

My 20-year-old brother-in-law used the money to open a supermarket, and I went to work for him.

Today, my brother-in-law told us: What does it mean that the customer is God? Me: It means that we want to serve our customers wholeheartedly! Brother-in-law: Wrong, it is to tie the customers to our specific ten, the cross like the emperor, and let us slaughter and cut!

3, the next door Wang Shutian just began to call at the door: big sister, you come to pick up your mother back! Get Mom back! I can't stand it anymore! Speaking of crying in the back... At this time, he heard his eighty-year-old mother shouting loudly: You put on the cotton coat! Put it on! What to do if you are frostbitten! The uncle cried: Mom! You told me to wear a cotton coat for the night! You don't have to sleep?! I can't stand it all the time! I looked at the weather temperature at this time was 30 degrees! Motherhood is great!

4, college is about to graduate, I still have no girlfriend.

At the instigation of my roommates, I decided to go after a girl I had been dreaming of for a long time.

One day, I saw the girl I liked walking alone in the playground, so I followed.

Since I didn't know how to open my mouth, I was very anxious.

Seeing the girl walk farther and farther away, I had to pick up something from the ground.

I chased after it and said, "Sister, did you drop this brick?"

5, today and my wife went out to play, it was time to eat at noon, I suddenly felt abdominal pain and wanted to go to the toilet.

So the wife decided to find a restaurant with a toilet.

We searched for half a day and didn't find it, and I felt like I was about to be overwhelmed.

This is my wife seeing a noodle restaurant with a toilet, and she excitedly said to me: Husband come soon! This house has a toilet, let's eat here!

6, today to go bungee jumping, when the staff tied the rope to my feet, I was a little scared, I asked: You see, your rope is not a little worn?

The staff said: It is a bit worn. Rest assured, it will be fine. We change the rope frequently.

I said, "How often do you change your rope?"

The staff said: This is not easy to say, when it is broken, when to replace!

I'll go! I...... I don't jump anymore!

7, when I woke up, I was uncomfortable, cold, cough and fever. Looking at my sleeping husband next to me, I was furious: I relied on you, and most of the night you had to take me out to eat barbecue, let me drink cold drinks, and buy me a bunch of snacks. The more I talked, the more I found that I didn't seem to care. Watching him rub his eyes and look at me with a confused face, I was even more angry: Why did I have a cold, you didn't!

8, the internet café front desk girl took my ID card, brushed it, and asked me with a suspicious face, "Do you have twenty?" It takes twenty to be online. I was not calm at that time: "What is the rule, Lao Tzu is not twenty, What is wrong, Lao Tzu is an adult, why don't you let me go online?" The little girl looked aggrieved and choked, "I'm talking about the deposit..." 

9 A 22-year-old rich man drives a Maybach to buy groceries and asks: This. How much is a pound of shrimp? The hostess said: 11.5 pounds a pound! Rich: So cheap, give me a 50 pounds! The boss looked up at the sky and said: Good, a total of 575 yuan! The rich man was stunned, took out his mobile phone to open the calculator, calculated for half a day and found that it was correct, and he was greatly impressed in his heart! So I couldn't help but ask - sentence: Dare to ask you whether you are using cloud computing?

10 A woman encounters a robber on her way home. She knelt down and said: Big brother, my hotel sends leaflets, the salary is only 1900 wages, can you not rob the money? The robber cried and said: Sister, I also send flyers in the gym, because now there is no performance to come out to rob, all of them are with you. The woman packed up her clothes and was about to turn away. The robber said: Take this leaflet of mine, or my other colleagues will stop you from robbing!

11 The female manager of our unit was napping, and I stole her mobile phone to send a group message: "I am pregnant." ”

Who expected the director to reply: "Sure, this is not a joke." ”

We were stunned to see the news, and the director replied: "The next step is to set up a big project, then you will not be responsible." "I feel like I'm in trouble.