1, the female manager of our unit took a nap, I stole her mobile phone group message: "I am pregnant." Who expected the director to reply: "Sure, this is not a joke." "We were stunned to see the news

1, the female manager of our unit took a nap, I stole her mobile phone group message: "I am pregnant." Who expected the director to reply: "Sure, this is not a joke." We were stunned when we saw the news, and the director replied: "The next step is to set up a big project, then you will not be responsible." "I feel like I'm in trouble.

2. After marriage, all wages should be handed in, and not a penny can be hidden. When cleaning that day, I picked up 2 yuan and excitedly ran to the Internet café. While waiting for the game update, I saw the guy next door smoking a cigarette and video with friends. The network manager came over and said: "Hello, you can't smoke here, please go outside and smoke!" He said, "Good. "Then I adjusted the camera a bit. Then he said to the person in the video, "I went out to smoke a cigarette, and you helped me look at things." ”?

3, my wife is on fire, I took her to the doctor. The doctor told her to soak in yellow water and take it three times a day. A month later, the wife's internal fire not only did not come down, but her face became more and more yellow. I said to my wife: The doctor asked you to soak water with huanglian, did you drink it? My wife said: It's too bitter, I can't drink it, I put yellow water on my face every time.

4, today the outside cooled down, the husband took out the new clothes bought a few days ago to put on and went out. Back at home, my dog barked at him and asked the servants to turn to him. He was angry and picked up the stick and was about to hit the dog, and I said, "Forget it, don't hit it." My husband said angrily: This dog can't even recognize me, it's really disgusting! I said: You also put yourself in its shoes and think, if this white dog runs out and becomes a black dog and comes back, can you recognize it?

5. It is about to take the college entrance examination, and the buddies who have graduated from college suddenly put on the high school uniform. Then he took me to wait at the entrance of the college entrance examination hall. Every time a test taker came out, he shouted as he walked: Oh, this year's exam questions are too simple. I asked him: What are you doing here? Dude said: I am avenging myself, I am not happy, and I can't make them feel better.

6, Leng Leng just came back from kindergarten today and couldn't wait to say to her mother: "Mom, I think the brightness of our class is very stupid!" Mom scolded: "Cold, no swearing!" Today the teacher asked where the milk came from, and he actually said it was from the refrigerator. You say he's stupid or not? Said coldly and dismissively. Mom shook her head and asked, "Do you know where the milk comes from?" "Of course!" Cold and confident, he said, "Mom bought it from the street every morning!" ”

7. The single father-in-law bought the big lottery and won 45 million, becoming a rich man. The father-in-law immediately got along with a beautiful model, and soon the two were married. In the winter, the father-in-law drank too much and knocked on the door in confusion. When the daughter-in-law saw that her father-in-law had drunk again, she said angrily, "I have gone to the wrong door!" The father-in-law turned around and went downstairs, and the little daughter-in-law lay down the window to see him sitting downstairs, afraid of freezing, so she went downstairs and called him. When the father-in-law saw that the new daughter-in-law was about to cry, he said with grievance: "I have drunk too much and walked through the wrong door, and an ugly old lady has thrown me out!" The manager was rarely at home because he was busy at work, and his wife could not stand the loneliness and filed for divorce. In the evening, the manager pulled me to drink with him after work, and when he drank, he began to cry, and he couldn't persuade him. Later, I remembered that the TV series was staged, and when I went up, I slapped it and yelled: Cry what to cry, manly husband, what can't be done, throw away or lose people? He was quiet for a while and then he started crying, and I slapped again, and I cried and hit, not to mention that I survived. Later, he stopped crying and was just about to speak, and I habitually slapped him again... Today, I drove my wife back to my mother's house, and I talked to my husband about divorce at the dinner table. I said, "I heard that the divorce process is more complicated than before, and it is difficult to handle." The old man: "Really?" It's harder to get a divorce later! Then the old man said: "If you really want to leave, then no matter how complicated you are, don't be afraid..." Suddenly, I felt that the back was suddenly cold, and when I looked back, my mother-in-law and daughter-in-law were standing behind us with brushes together, staring at us viciously...

8, we have a female supervisor in our office, very beautiful. But now they are all three, not married, not even a boyfriend. I asked her: Supervisor, why are you so beautiful and not married? She said: "When I was a child, I cut an apple, and I accidentally cut it in my hand, and I still have a scar. I asked incomprehensibly: What does the scar on my hand have to do with marriage? The supervisor replied: Then what does it have to do with you whether I get married or not?

9, the sister-in-law felt unwell, went to the hospital to check it out, unexpectedly found out that she was pregnant, called and told her boyfriend. The boyfriend was very happy, bought a bottle of fetal repair, and said to the sister-in-law: "After you eat it, it will definitely help the development of the fetus!" The sister-in-law looked at this thing for a long time and threw the bottle down the window. The boyfriend asked, "Why throw it away?" The sister-in-law scolded, "Are you stupid! This is the glue that mends the tires of the bicycle. ”

10. Before Mulan joined the army for his father, he went to the East Market to buy horses, to the West Market to buy saddles, to the South Market to buy a braid, and to the North Market to buy a long whip. When the general heard about it, he asked, "Mulan, are you dressed as a man?" Mulan was surprised: "How does the general know?" The general said, "Men don't go to four markets in a row to buy this thing." ”

11. On the night of the candle in the cave, the bride said to the breathless groom: "I like feminism, I think a modern woman should defend her legal rights, and have the right to know the whereabouts of men; the right to supervise men's property; and when bored, they must also have pet dogs..." The groom: "What about men's rights?" Bride: "Man, have the right to work." The bridegroom: "Men have too few rights. Bride: "Men still have the right to silence. ”

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