The private messages I received recently are different from before. In the past, most of the things I received were people's life insights and trivia, like a diary. But now as we age, people will have all kinds of troubles and anxieties because of different identity labels.
In fact, whether it is for love or life, I believe that none of the problems encountered by everyone are completely new, and there are always people who are worried about the same problem as you.
So last week we opened a "sister mailbox" for a limited time to solicit female readers for questions that are currently bothering them. This time, we are not only a listener, but also want to try to help you solve the problems you are facing at the moment from the perspective of a sister.
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@Shak
8 years of relationship to the end, should the chat history photos be destroyed? I always feel that if I destroy my life, I will be missing a piece, but I feel that it is difficult to put it down without destroying it. I wonder how to "dispose" of these good memories of the past so that I will not regret it in the future?
Hope you understand that deleting or not deleting those chat logs or photos is just a sense of ceremony. Or rather, it's a kind of self-suggestion by you, an illusion that you can quicken to forget if you don't touch the past anymore. In fact, deleting the photo won't help you get out, and not deleting it won't mean you're still thinking about him. After all, the real letting go is not to escape, but to face.
In terms of how to deal with "love relics", a friend of mine once told me a law of renunciation: If you don't use such a thing for more than half a year, it means that you don't need it. You can force yourself not to look at these pasts for a period of time, and when you accept reality, your emotions and feelings will also tell you whether to keep these memories or not.
At the same time, let me remind you that keeping memories with your ex also needs to take into account the thoughts of your future partner, please don't let your past affect your future feelings.
@Chu
Hello spicy, I am a female college student who is about to graduate and is facing the problem of finding a job. I wonder how we can be sure that it is in the face of a job? Is it the right choice? What's right?
When it comes to finding a job, especially the first job, no one can find a perfect fit right when they first come up. To put it bluntly, finding a job and finding a partner is a trial and error process.
As for what is the right choice, it is necessary to talk about the multi-dimensional investigation of everyone when screening job opportunities, the shallow level may be work pressure, office social environment, and the deep level is salary and promotion space. It's just that the final decision is everyone's subjective consideration, so whether it is suitable or not depends on which aspects you value more.
But it is clear that although it is impossible to work without pressure, the right work will bring you positive pressure and promote your growth and progress. If you are engaged in a job, not only will not let you benefit in the future, but also because of various pressures or some other factors continue to consume you, then I suggest that you also learn to stop losses in the workplace in time.
@Yorkshire I always have the habit of thinking of the worst before doing something, and I often have pessimistic thoughts that I am not good enough or good enough. But many times when the result of things comes out, it is actually not so bad, even the complete opposite of what I imagined. And I always attribute it to "I can only not be beaten if I think things badly." "This seems to be my mindset, how on earth can I completely get rid of the hyper-pessimistic persona and flattering personality."
This kind of girl is really distressing, and it is even more regrettable that they are not in the minority. People with pessimistic thoughts are mostly more sensitive, feel the changes around them, and feel pain more easily. When you encounter something bad, you will think that it is your fault. As for the flattering personality, it is because it is too afraid of being hurt, so it always lives in the expectations of others, and always puts the needs of others before itself.
If you feel that you are often not good enough, find for yourself the evidence that overturns this pessimistic idea and record it. Grasp every little fortune and small progress in life. If you're uncontrollably pessimistic again, take a look at the list of strengths you've laid out for yourself right away. Not only do you need self-recognition, you also need a healthy relationship with someone who appreciates you, whether it's family or friends.
If you're too empathetic and can't help but think unconditionally about others, be clear before you do something, and try to express your thoughts and feelings. Hopefully, you understand that being liked is not necessary, allow yourself to have flaws, and accept your short-term failures.
Because of the limited space, we can only choose the three most typical questions to answer this time, but please rest assured that we will continue to answer your questions through videos or articles in the future.
In fact, it is quite a shame to say that many of the life feelings and love principles that I can convey to you today are not innately known. Everyone's life is the first time, the problems they face are not born to know the answer, always learn from those "sisters" who have more ideas than themselves.
In my own case, I learned to live peacefully with age anxiety in my mother, and realized in the experience of my friends that marriage is not a necessary stage and outcome of life. I also learned from my former boss the importance of having a career.
On the road of women's growth, everyone has received help from different sisters to a greater or lesser extent. Perhaps it is because women can better empathize with each other and better understand each other's experiences, that sisters have a position to observe more from a female perspective, to express, promote and make changes.
This time, many girls are asking: Now that I am single but always urged to marry by my parents, should I wait for the person I like to appear, or listen to my parents' blind date to find a suitable person?
We have all been "helpeers" of life troubles, and I hope that in today's suggestions for my sister's mailbox, you can find suggestions that will help you. And now, you can also be a "sister" to help other girls.
As long as you are in the comments section of your opinion of this trouble: should you wait for the person you like to show up, or listen to your parents' blind date to find the right person?
All your heartfelt words will become the best plan for everyone to grow up, and it will also become a driving force for women to live a better life, becoming a "sister", starting from today.
Illustration / "Not Married"
Head image / Arren Aaren