I have long heard the saying: "It is better for a woman to live beautifully than to live beautifully." ”
Another interpretation of this sentence is that looking beautiful is a natural advantage, and living beautifully is an acquired skill.
Women live in this world and bear many social norms and expectations.
At home, we must be gentle and virtuous, be a good wife and mother, and be able to make money and fight for our careers outside.
Countless women do their best to become "all-round women" in the eyes of others, but when they do their best to meet the expectations of others, they also unknowingly lose themselves.
They forget that before trying to be whose daughter, wife, mother, before becoming a successful woman, the first thing she has to do is become herself.
Because we have different bodies, minds, and souls, perhaps we can try not to care about worldly eyes and other people's words, but to find our own true desire.
Copyright image of Photogram
01
Not too dependent on love
Yishu once said this:
"It doesn't matter if you're twenty, thirty or forty, you can't entrust yourself to anyone."
Many women spend their entire lives living for love, pinning all their happiness in life on others, and losing their ability to take the initiative to create happiness and discover happiness.
Only when they experience the reality of the world can they understand:
In this world, the only thing that can always rely on yourself is yourself.
There is a sentence in "Know It or Not" that is particularly thought-provoking.
"There is no one in the world who is the backer, in everything, it is best not to count too much on people, really to count, not too much, too deep."
Minglan is a person who lives transparently, and she never puts her life on men.
In the eyes of the world and the patriarchal society at that time, Gu Tingye can be regarded as a person worthy of entrustment for life.
He was extremely fond of Ming Lan.
When she got married, prepare a rich dowry for her, and marry her in a beautiful scenery; After marriage, she was put in charge of the housework and gave her enough trust.
Ming Lan was hungry, and he went to buy food in the middle of the night; Ming Lan was wronged, and he was desperate to protect.
It is difficult to prevent people from falling with such care, but Ming Lan has always remained sober.
She does not pin her future on men, but devotes herself to improving herself and trying to live her life well.
"In the future, I can save a lot of money, go sightseeing, hit the ball and fish in my spare time, and have a good life.
If in order to compete for a bite to eat in front of men, but turn yourself into a hateful crazy woman, this life is not worth it. ”
The so-called transparency of women is exactly this.
I have always felt that the worst thing in a relationship is not losing each other, but losing yourself in love.
Buy what you want, and fight for the life you want.
Only in this way can this life be considered a happy life.
02
Reconcile with the ego
There is such a line in the movie "This killer is not too cold":
"Is life always so hard? Or is it only like this as a child? ”
"It's always the case."
Yes, life is not easy, and we will face countless setbacks and problems in this life.
For women, even more so.
I want a good look, a perfect body, and I hope I will never grow old.
However, fate and time have given us not only appearance, but perhaps wisdom, grace and pattern.
After all, we must learn to reconcile with ourselves, with time, so that we can bloom freely at every age.
If you have ever known Ma Sichun's experience, you will know how difficult it is for a woman to reconcile herself.
Ma Sichun was born beautiful, but she is easy to fatten, and the years she grew up in are a history of weight loss struggle.
Because of obesity, she was ridiculed by her classmates during adolescence for "growing so fat and running so fast." ”
She left a psychological shadow and began to lose weight.
After his debut, Ma Sichun's appearance and figure were always under public scrutiny.
Before every filming, she would lose weight like crazy, losing 10 pounds and 20 pounds, which she used to flaunt her achievements.
After filming, he got fat again and kept repeating.
And the attention of social media to her is always "fat", "thin", "fat again"...
She can't accept her imperfect self, but she can't match the "difficulty" of her fat-prone physique.
After years of fighting with repeated body shape and obsession, she was diagnosed with depression.
Fortunately, after nearly a year of silence, Ma Sichun finally learned to reconcile with himself.
Now she is no longer obsessed with the pursuit of figure and appearance, but cares more about herself.
Take care of your emotions and take care of your health.
She no longer desperately lost weight for filming, but went to play the role that suits her.
After reconciling with herself, her life is finally happy.
Ma Sichun's experience has made many ordinary women see their shadow.
Fighting obesity and anxious about appearance, these obsessions endlessly wrap around women, but ignore the self who needs to be cared for and cherished the most.
I've always loved a quote:
"Each of us has been fortunate enough to come into this world, and that's something to be thankful for, something to be proud of."
Perhaps, living well is a fortunate thing.
03
Still dreaming
Very much agree with the sentence:
"The greatest success of people is to live their lives the way they like."
In this life, people are lucky to be able to do what they love.
Ordinary as you and me, but each with love.
It doesn't necessarily make a living for us, but it gives us a heart, and it makes us live a lively and enthusiastic life.
Spare no effort for the love in your heart, be the best person can be.
I saw a report about a cleaning aunt the other day.
Auntie works in Beipiao and rents a 6-square-meter small house in an urban village.
The small room, except for the bed and the "stove" for cooking, is mostly full of painting tools and paintings.
The aunt went to the office building to do cleaning during the day, and worked diligently to make money.
In the dead of night, he silently set up the drawing board, let his thoughts run wild, and drew the heaven and earth in his heart.
The aunt copied the world's famous paintings, and also created her own masterpieces, and in the dilapidated house, the paintings added a lot of poetry and vitality.
Work hard during the day to earn a living, and concentrate on painting at night for love.
The aunt lived to be the envy of many ordinary women.
Although life is bad, romance has to be created by itself.
Love regardless of size, every little like is enough to make life shine.
The British modernist female writer Woolf has this sentence in "A Room of One's Own":
"If a woman wants to write a novel, she must have money and a room of her own."
In my opinion, this room is meant to accommodate our passions and dreams.
It not only represents the independence of the space in which we live and is not violated, but also extends the space of our spirit and heart.
In this world, you can read, draw, write, raise flowers, listen to music...
All your yearning for an ideal life is hidden in this independent space, which is a pool of living water in your ordinary life, which can heal all barren souls.
04
Someone said, "In this life, women have to be their own heroes, they have to win with their own strength and their own way, no matter how difficult it is." ”
As women, there are countless possibilities in our lives, and we don't have to cater to the expectations of others or set limits for ourselves.
The French writer Romain Rolland wrote in Michelangelo:
"There is only one kind of heroism in life, and that is to love life after recognizing the truth of life."
Loving yourself is the beginning of a lifelong romance.
May every woman live as she likes, not dependent on love, not trapped in obsession, and bravely pursuing the love and dreams in her heart.
Source: Xiaolai Morning and Good Night (ID: zhulilaiye)
Editor: Wei Wenjuan
Reviewer: Wang Dong