1. My husband came back early from a business trip, and just when he entered the door, he hugged me and was anxious to make love, and I quickly pushed him away. He said, "Honey, you help me pay back 200 yuan to Xiao Li's wife downstairs."

1. My husband came back early from a business trip, and just when he entered the door, he hugged me and was anxious to make love, and I quickly pushed him away. He said, "Honey, you help me pay back 200 yuan to Xiao Li's wife downstairs." Half an hour later, my husband came back with a swollen half of his face, and Tie Qing sat on the sofa with his face and didn't say a word. I asked him what was wrong, my husband: "When I handed the money to Xiao Li's wife, I was beaten by a strange man!" ”

2. Dad has long felt that my son and I don't look like each other, and eventually hid it from me and took my son to do DNA, which showed that the grandfather and grandson did not have a half-cent relationship. The wife cried to death and was willing to prove her innocence with death. So, I personally did a DNA test with my son, and the results showed that the two were father and son. Then my dad and I went for DNA testing, and it turned out that we didn't have a half-cent relationship. The old mother cried to death and was willing to prove her innocence with death. So, I did a DNA test with my mother, and the results showed that we were also not related to half a cent. Excluding genetic mutations, there is only one possibility in the hospital to hold the wrong child. Overnight our family rushed to the hospital where I was born. The old nurse flipped through the yellowed paper file and finally said that there was only one boy born that day and at the same time as me, called xxx. My wife was stunned, and so was I. Carefully checked all the information of the little boy, and finally determined that the little boy was the wife's "brother". The wife trembled and called her father-in-law and mother-in-law and her "brother-in-law." Her "brother" was abducted to do DNA testing with my father and mother," and I was abducted to do DNA testing with my father-in-law and mother-in-law. The results showed that my father-in-law and mother-in-law had a father-son mother-son relationship, and my wife and brother-in-law and my parents had a father-son mother-son relationship. In other words, my wife is my own sister, and I am my wife's brother. But we are brothers and sisters, and the children are the products of close relatives, so why is there nothing unusual? In the end, I had to do another DNA test with my wife. The test results showed that the two did not have a half-cent relationship. Fortunately, my wife is not my own sister. I'm not my wife's brother either. so...... Who the hell is she? With doubt, I looked at my father-in-law's mother-in-law's biological parents. The wife was very excited, and tearfully forced the two old men to ask who they were. The biological father said, "You... I actually picked it up from the garbage heap. ”

3. When I was in high school, my father took me from my grandmother's house in the countryside to the city and sent me to study in key middle schools. Our chemistry teacher is a little old man, and some time ago we were hospitalized for appendicitis surgery, and the school gave us a new teacher. The new chemistry teacher has just graduated from college, and the class is particularly humorous, mingling with his classmates. In chemistry class today, the teacher walked into the classroom and shouted, "Hurry up and close all the windows!" The class was suddenly confused and did not understand what the teacher meant. As a result, the teacher took out the test paper from yesterday's exam and said: "This time the chemical score is particularly poor, and I am worried that some students will not be able to open it!" ”

4. This afternoon, a friend asked me: What should I do if I quarrel with someone else and can't argue with the other party? I said: Teach you a special way to cow, that is, to sniff melon seeds! Then, the friend is full of question marks. I explained: You don't say a word, smile while sniffing melon seeds, sniffing at the other party's doubts about life, laughing until the other party's heart is hairy, like a great enemy pressing the situation, but unfathomable!

5. Yesterday the buddies went to work to take the bus, and the bus was very crowded. There was a grandmother in her 80s standing up, holding a white-haired grandfather, and squeezed in front of a grandfather who was about 60 years old at a glance: Boy, trouble give up a seat! A cart of people is messy! Then the uncle boy happily got up and gave up his seat! nabs:......

6. After graduating from New Oriental Chef Academy, I became the second youngest special chef since I was a child. Guangzhou restaurant big!! The master saw my potential and took me back to the Guangzhou restaurant and began the magic gem training. After the day's training, I planned to go to the opening dish to find inspiration, but on the way I saw a suit from Heilan House. I asked about the price and then felt expensive, and came in passing: so expensive, can it be cheaper? The boss said: Pretty boy you want to think like this, if things are expensive, you can tell yourself when you don't buy, hey, and save a lot of money. I think it makes sense to think about picking something, so do I buy it or not?

7． After marrying the chairman's daughter of more than 300 pounds, I was promoted from company security to general manager. I received a salary of 700,000 yuan yesterday, and I came to a roast chicken stall after work in the evening and asked, "How much is a roast chicken?" Boss: "A 60!" "I remembered what my wife had told me before, to learn to bargain in half when buying things. So he said, "Half, 30." Boss: "Okay! Get it right away. So the knife fell from the hand, and the skillful knife worker fell into the bag. I happily took the roast chicken to my home and said to my wife: "Wife, you said that I will not bargain, I bargained successfully today, half cut, the boss wants 60, I cut to 30." The wife took the roast chicken, opened it, and slapped me: "You even cut the roast chicken and bought half of it. ”

8． My girlfriend's mouth is never idle, except to eat and count me down. This is not, into the winter, she bought a few boxes of walnuts from the origin of walnuts, which is called: idle in winter, there is nothing to eat walnuts to pass the time and replenish the brain, in one fell swoop. Walnuts had been eaten for more than half a month, and this morning, just this morning, she poured the rice directly into the rice cooker, and the pot liner was on the side. My girlfriend shouted, I rushed to the kitchen, saw a wet scene, and said to my girlfriend: This is the result of your brain patching? My girlfriend actually said to me unconvincingly: Yes, I am enlightened, why is it that I cook every day?

#Funny Moment# #年度搞笑名场面 #