1, there is a young woman in our unit, just divorced, called me, asked me to go to her house to help her dredge the sewer pipes, by the way to her house to have dinner, drink two glasses of wine. I rushed with my tools

1, there is a young woman in our unit, just divorced, called me, asked me to go to her house to help her dredge the sewer pipes, by the way to her house to have dinner, drink two glasses of wine. I rushed to the female colleague's house with my tools! The husband of the female colleague is in business, very rich, and left a large amount of money and a large house for the female colleague after the divorce. I thought that if I could get the favor of my female colleague and chase her in my hand, I would be able to struggle for several years less, I helped my female colleague dredge the sewer pipe in the bathroom, and the female colleague was very happy, cooked several dishes, and drank with me. As a result, I couldn't drink enough, and I soon fainted. The female colleague's face was rosy, and her eyes were confused and asked me, can you still drink? If you can't drink it, rest it! I thought to myself that my female colleague is a little looking down on my alcohol intake, so how can it work? In order to gain her favor, I opened another bottle of wine, desperately forced to drink, and finally I drank and vomited, drunk from the dining room to the living room, from the living room to the kitchen, bathroom, bedroom, balcony... Then, my female colleagues and I didn't have a then!

2, last night, the husband went to the shower, and a female friend on his mobile phone sent a message: What are you doing? On a whim, I replied: I was thinking of you. The other person said: Really? I felt bored, so I replied: I sent the message just now, I am his wife. The other party seconds back: Great! I wondered: Huh? What's too good? The other party said: While they are not there, let's talk for a while, right? I'm her husband!?

3. In the last exam of the third year of high school, the male school bully in the class asked the female school bully to go to dinner. They talked too much about a difficult problem, and the female schoolgirl was thirsty and used wine as an ordinary drink. After a while, the female school bully was drunk. Looking at the unconscious appearance of the female school bully, the male student bully showed a treacherous smile and thought: Haha! Drink like this, I see if you can hang up for tomorrow's exam! This male bully routine is deep enough!

4. Today our company gathers at night. The landlady asked me: If you drink a glass of wine and give you ten thousand. How many drinks can you drink?? I said: Is it really ten thousand to drink?? The landlady said: Really give. I said: Okay. Please prepare the coffin for me. The landlady's mouth was wide open: What are you going to do with the coffin? I said: Today is either to load me or to give me money!!

5, the bus is a little crowded, a man in front of the hand into the bag of the beautiful woman next to it, the beauty did not notice at all. I regret that this man is actually a thief, seeing that he is about to succeed, his heart is anxious to pinch him hard, the handsome man screamed and retracted his hand, I had the impulse to jump out of the car and escape. Because the girl asked: Is there a thorn in the bag? The handsome man said quietly: Wife, someone pinched me...

6, at noon ordered a KFC takeaway, delivered by a little girl. When my mother saw her sweating, she said painfully: Sister, you can't deliver takeaways if you look like this. The girl smiled, and my mother said: My son is a physical education teacher, with a stable salary of 4500, are you interested? She said shyly: I'm sorry, my monthly salary is stable 9,000, sometimes tens of thousands!

7, these days are busy rushing performance, so every time overtime to very late. One night, I drove a beautiful colleague home. I parked my car at the door of an old neighborhood: "Just send you here, I won't go in." She leaned over and leaned over to my ear and said, "You can drive me in, and you can go up and sit down." "I resolutely refused! Looking at the distant back of my colleague, I thought to myself: "Alas, if I had practiced subject two well for the driver's license, I don't have to be afraid to turn out the car now!" ”

8. When I just graduated from college, everyone had no money, so I rented a four-bedroom house with eight roommates in the dormitory. Go to work during the day and play games when you come back at night. Originally, the living room was not large, and the eight computers were quite spectacular! Every day, eight people eat bare-chested and shout and play games! Later, the property and security guard knocked on the door of our house, saying that someone reported us operating a black Internet café without a license.....

9, after eating in the neighborhood walking, suddenly heard a little brother in front of you has been shouting, baby, where are you, come out, little baby, come out, shout that is called a heartache. Later, suddenly a puppy came out of the grass layer, which frightened me, and the little brother ran to me, picked up the puppy, and kissed the dog's mouth, and I really envied the dog.

10. Some time ago, my friend's whole family went out on a trip, and I heard that it was to go to an island. On this day I went to his house to play, and I saw a specimen of a butterfly on the wall of his house. Me: "Is this something you brought back from your trip?" Friend: "Hmmm, this is a rare variety, not available in China." Me: "So what's its name?" Friend: "Vosni butterfly." "What always feels wrong...?"

11. Working as a bartender in a bar, he was attracted to the landlady who had been divorced three times. She gave me a Bentley and promoted me to manager in pursuit of me. I was usually very busy at work, and I drove a luxury car back to my hometown during the long holiday. I went to my mother's house and saw my mother pulling wild vegetables from the field! Green tender, I haven't eaten for a long time, look at all drooling, what steaming to eat, stir-fry to eat, cold mix to eat a brain emerged in the mind. So I took away all the big bags of wild vegetables that my mother pulled out, and when I got to the door, my mother, who was cooking in the kitchen, suddenly ran out and shouted to me: Son, that's feeding pigs, our little pigs are still hungry! I:......

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