1, at night, invite the husband to go to KTV to sing, play too hi, sleep in KTV - accommodation. I woke up early the next morning looking at my phone and there were 105 missed calls, all from my wife

1, at night, invite the husband to go to KTV to sing, play too hi, sleep in KTV - accommodation. I woke up early the next morning— looking at my phone, there were 105 missed calls, all from my wife! Frightened, I quickly asked the old man, "What should I do?" The old man thought about it, decisively turned off my mobile phone, and pulled out the SIM card and broke it in half. Then the old man said to me: "I will go out to get a new card, and tell my girlfriend that your mobile phone card is broken, so I changed to a new number!"

2. When I just graduated from college, everyone had no money, so I rented a four-bedroom house with eight roommates in the dormitory. Go to work during the day and play games when you come back at night. Originally, the living room was not large, and the eight computers were quite spectacular! Every day, eight people eat bare-chested and shout and play games! Later, the property and security guard knocked on the door of our house, saying that someone reported us operating a black Internet café without a license.....

3. Just after graduating from college, I went to work for a listed group, and I was caught by the 56-year-old female president. In order to catch up with me, she gave me a sea view villa, a Lamborghini. I couldn't resist the temptation of money, agreed, and moved into the villa. When I got up this morning, I found the BMW at the door painted in a mess by a group of children. The children were all smiling and I was happy for them. If the car is broken, it can be repaired, but there are not many opportunities to draw on the car, and the child's happiness is the most important. So, I didn't say a word, after all, the car is not mine, the child is not mine.

4, my girlfriend thinks I am a poor boy, followed by a rich second generation to run, I fell frustrated in the scene to go to the bar to buy drunk, before leaving also sang a song "Beijing Beijing", humming songs while walking. I got into the taxi and hummed, unconsciously fell asleep, and the driver woke me up in the morning: Beijing has arrived! I opened my eyes and looked at the meter: twelve thousand eight hundred and fifteen dollars. I said with a shocked face: Master, why did you open Beijing?" The master said: I asked you several times last night, you all said Beijing, Beijing, I thought you were in a hurry to see the national flag raised! My God, now that I think about it, I feel afraid, fortunately I didn't sing that song "Heaven" last night?

5, a girl at the entrance of the mall kneeling for two steamed buns and the way home cost 40 yuan, sister kindness to the hair to go to the supermarket to buy two steamed buns for the girl, the girl saw the steamed buns all kinds of moving gobble ah, a see this should really encounter difficulties, decisively give her 50 yuan, and then go shopping. After a while I went to another mall and saw her kneeling there asking for money, all kinds of anger, determined to retaliate, so I bought 20 steamed buns to follow her!

6. After graduating from Harbin Institute of Technology, the brother-in-law met his true destiny daughter in Beijing, and the sister-in-law was a rich second generation who invested 10,000,000 to open a Haidilao for the brother-in-law. Half a year later, the landlord saw that the brother-in-law's business was good, so he raised his rent to 5,000 a month, and the brother-in-law felt that the rent was too expensive and asked the landlord to reduce the rent. The landlord refused to live or die, and the brother-in-law simply did not rent it in a fit of anger, and did not want to take the deposit. A month later, the landlord found his brother-in-law and said that he agreed to lease back to his brother-in-law for 5,000 a month. The brother-in-law refused for the sake of face. It was empty for a few years, and some time ago I overheard the nearby boss saying that the shop could not be rented. Now it is rented as a warehouse with a monthly rent of 1000!

7. After dinner, I accompanied my mother to watch "Palace Lock Heart Jade", and after watching it, I very much wanted to cross. When I went out today and passed a street, someone shouted at me: Your Majesty! Your Majesty! I was very excited at the time, could it be that I had actually crossed over, and I was wondering. There was a pile of water splashed down on it, and the man said, "Didn't I call to avoid it?" You don't let this but don't blame me. After hearing this, I touched the stone brick next to me and threw it upwards, and shouted: Queen!

8, take a plane trip to like a flight attendant, and then try every means to ask her out. That night, I finally met the dream stewardess goddess for dinner! During the meal, I went to the bathroom and came back to see a big aunt mopping the floor where I was sitting. When I sat on the stool, my foot slipped, and A P strand fell to the ground without sitting steadily, how could I miss this opportunity, and Shunshi lay on the ground waiting for the first aid of the stewardess goddess. Who knew that the big aunt shouted "Oops, I'm sorry" while running, and I was scared of a carp and bounced up...

9, my girlfriend is a very tough woman, but her heart is still very soft. I remember her Valentine's Day love affair hiding at home drunk, I went to see her at home, she fainted when she opened the door and broke her forehead. I took her to the health center to bandage her, and the nurse brought her half a bottle of alcohol to wipe her wounds. I sat behind her and supported her, who knows when the nurse turned around to get something, the girlfriend picked up the alcohol duang ~ duang ~ duang ~ the bottle was blown out...

10. When I returned to my hometown on New Year's Day, I suddenly wanted to go to the primary school I used to have. In the blink of an eye, six years have passed, and when I arrived at the entrance of the primary school, it was still a familiar scene, and there was still a big black dog lying on the door of the family next to it. I approached it, and it lowered its head to lick its paws, so I leaned over and picked up a small stone and threw it at it as I had done then... Then I went to the clinic I had been to six years ago.

11. The female colleague asked me to pretend to be her boyfriend to deal with the parents, and the payment was a meal of Haidilao. When I arrived at her house for dinner, her dad pulled me to the balcony and handed me a bank card. I took the card and said, "Uncle, I see what you mean, I'll leave your daughter at once." Her father said: No, I mean to say that you are married, and the 1 million in the card is the dowry, provided that you are good to her. Looking at this bank card, and then looking at the 200 pounds of female colleagues, I hesitated...

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