"Dad, I rear-ended a Bentley, and the owner told me to pay 10.11 million." Dad: "Loser, I don't have any money to pay you." Me: "I know, so I smashed the car, she."

"Dad, I rear-ended a Bentley, and the owner told me to pay 10.11 million." Dad: "Loser, I don't have any money to pay you." Me: "I know, so I smashed the car, and she let me lose 2 million." Dad: "How can I afford to lose 2 million, let's break off the father-son relationship." Me: "Dad, I'm joking with you, in fact, I scored 200 points on the college entrance examination, are you telling you the score now that it's a little better?"

When I was young and promising, I could not find a girlfriend, so I went to the nunnery on the mountain to worship the Buddha and ask for marriage. As a result, when I first arrived, I saw a nun with exquisite facial features. I gave her a BMW 320, and she immediately married me. Now that we've been married for two years, she'll hit me whenever there's a fight. This morning I was packing up and getting ready to go to work when my wife kicked me directly and asked me if there was anyone outside! I immediately handed in the money from yesterday's stall, but I didn't expect my wife to still not be spared, saying that I was a long skill, and actually did not take the initiative to hand over the money, and had to practice with me for a few minutes. In the end, I was beaten up before I was finished, and the weight loss meal I ate in the morning was all consumed!

The class teacher was accidentally hit by a Maserati and lost more than 2 million, and then the class teacher resigned to take 2 million to do business. Then a new teacher came to our class and asked each of us to write a personal introduction. After the teacher saw the book we wrote, he stood on the podium and asked: What is the most important thing for people? It's honesty, right? The students answered: Yes. Then, the teacher said: Well, now please write about the students who have broken stones on their chests in the self-introduction to perform on stage, and ask the students who step on the light bulbs to prepare !!!

Yesterday called a Didi car, came a big BMW, the driver is beautiful and beautiful, all the way to talk to me about life. She said: "I am a speculator, 14 houses, 6 million deposits, stock love TM how to fall how to fall, because Allah does not buy!" I have a car and a house, I have my own business, I am the boss myself, how free I want. No one but my mom and my dad can command me." I said, "Turn left in front." She said, "Okay...

I am notoriously afraid of my wife in our village, and every time I am beaten by my wife to find teeth on the ground. This wife quarreled with me again because of trivial matters, and she wanted to reach out and beat me. I couldn't bear it anymore and directly knocked my wife down and rode on her. I immediately got up and shouted to the crowd, "Everybody, run away, I'm going to run!"

Yesterday Xiaocheng and Yaoyao went to the theater to watch a movie, and Yaoyao found that Xiaocheng's walking posture was a little strange, so she took off his shoes when Xiaocheng was dozing off. Yaoyao found 500 yuan on the sole of Xiaocheng's shoe, and then woke Xiaocheng up and said, "Why do you hide money in the sole of your shoe and not tell me?" The small cost is still confused, and when he listens, he immediately soberly explains: "In the past few years, the work slump did not make money, and now it is different, and the conditions are good to put this thing on the soles of the feet to rest assured." As soon as YaoYao heard that it was also reasonable, she did not continue to pursue it, and then took out the 500 and put it in the sole of her shoe.

The farmer bought a box of consumable medicine, and after eating the rats, they walked away with a big wave. The farmer was very angry and theorized with the merchant: "Your rat medicine is useless!" The merchant said: "This medicine needs to be taken with warm water to be useful." The next day the farmer found the merchant again: "I listen to you, I caught the rats and served them with warm water, but it is still useless!" The merchant asked, "How many times have you fed it?" The farmer replied, "Once." The merchant said: "Look at the instruction manual, 6 boxes a course of treatment." ”

The two twin brothers of the neighbor's family made a mistake again, the eldest saw his mother coming, and quickly slipped away without a word, but the second brother was caught by his mother, and later the second brother was trained to cry bitterly. Finally, the second brother choked up while saying: You have been biased towards my brother since you were a child! His mother said: How did I get biased toward him? The second brother threw a handful of snot and said: Why was I 5 pounds when I was born and 7 pounds when my brother was born?

My girlfriend thought I was a poor boy, ran away with a rich second generation, I was frustrated and went to the bar to buy drunk, and when I left, I sang a song "Beijing Beijing", humming songs while walking. I got into the taxi and hummed, unconsciously fell asleep, and the driver woke me up in the morning: Beijing has arrived! I opened my eyes and looked at the meter: twelve thousand eight hundred and fifteen dollars. I said with a shocked face: Master, why did you open Beijing?" The master said: I asked you several times last night, you all said Beijing, Beijing, I thought you were in a hurry to see the national flag raised! My God, now that I think about it, I feel afraid, fortunately I didn't sing that song "Heaven" last night?

Today I was shopping with my husband at the wet market, and there was a vendor who was dealing with a discounted chicken rack, and my husband and I picked it up. We picked for half a day and chose two chicken racks. When the husband lifted the chicken rack to prepare the scale, the husband's colleague came over! The colleague glanced at the chicken rack in her husband's hand and said, "You just eat this?" The husband loved face and stammered, "No, there are two dogs in the family, which are bought for dogs to eat." ”

#Funny paragraph # #搞笑 #