1. On the second day of the wedding, the groom's official happily closed his mouth. I secretly asked, "Is it the bride who is as beautiful as a heavenly immortal, and let your boy pick up the treasure?" The bridegroom: "What, it's my wife's."

1. On the second day of the wedding, the groom's official happily closed his mouth. I secretly asked, "Is it the bride who is as beautiful as a heavenly immortal, and let your boy pick up the treasure?" The groom's official: "What, my wife's ex-boyfriends are too generous, let me make a lot of money." I wondered, "What do you mean?" Groom official: "My wife's ex-boyfriends came to drink happy wine, one red packet per person, one red packet 3,000, a total of more than 100,000 yuan, more than the sum of all the relatives in my family' red packets." I'm so happy, I'm a real ex-boyfriend. Me: "Congratulations congratulations..."??

2. Dad: Daughter, what is the boy's family you are in? Daughter: His family's food and clothing are responsible for special people, and special cars are delivered to home! Dad: What did his parents do? So generous? Daughter: Ordinary employees of the enterprise! Dad: What are you kidding? How much money can enterprise workers send, I don't know? Daughter: It is the poor salary that is small, and the things in the mall cannot be bought, so they can only be bought from Taobao!

3. My father-in-law was depressed because he owed too much debt, couldn't stand the pressure, and jumped off a building to kill himself. Not long after, the mother-in-law remarried, and after marriage gave birth to a little boy. Now the brother-in-law is 3 years old, very naughty, is the age to understand people's words. Last night, when the family was eating together, the brother-in-law kept knocking on the bowl and singing. My mother-in-law punched her ass and yelled, "Didn't you tell you you couldn't knock on the bowl??? Do you take my words for granted??? Where did you hear that??? The brother-in-law said: Listen to the inside of the ass. The mother-in-law was very pleased, after all, the brother-in-law did not lie, but the mother-in-law still could not bear to beat it twice!!!

4, blind date to meet the ex-boyfriend, just met the brother an impression of the feeling is OK. Unfortunately, the good times did not last long, and it broke after two weeks, because it was found that he was too picky! Reluctantly, I texted him and said, "Let's break up!" After ten minutes, he came back to me and said, "Oh okay, don't text back, this is my last free text message this month!" ”

5, the third uncle's family has a big rooster often pecked me, this day it bullied me again, I took a stick and knocked its head. Then the big rooster fell to the ground and convulsed a few times and did not move. This frightened me, and told the third uncle that the big rooster was dead, and the third uncle said: Always bully the child, it is good to die, there is chicken to eat tonight. When the third uncle boiled the water and prepared to pluck the hair, the big rooster got up with a bone, spread his feet and ran away with a cigarette... Ran...

6. Since the wife got the driver's license, people sent the nickname Gem to see sorrow, and yama was afraid of three points when driving. This time the wife crashed again, and I asked what car it was, and the wife: It seemed to be a BYD, electric. I was relieved and said: This car does not need to report insurance, it is directly private. The rear-ended driver was reluctant to do so, so he yelled at the phone: My car is a BYD electric car, yes, but my car is loaded with 38 people. I was blindfolded: Big brother, what kind of car are you?? Driver: I'm in the public transport system, you say. At that time, I almost vomited blood: No, the buses were hit, and I didn't want this daughter-in-law.

7, yesterday went to the father-in-law's house, the sister-in-law did not know why, suddenly began to vomit, the most important spit out of the especially like blood. The old man thought that the sister-in-law was seriously ill, so he took her to the hospital emergency department, the doctor asked, and then a test, very calmly prescribed medicine to the sister-in-law. The sister-in-law asked him in panic: What should I do if I vomit blood? Doctor: What did you eat last night and this morning? Sister-in-law: Elbows, roast chicken, and strawberries and cherries. Doctor: That's right, you're not vomiting blood, it's cherry juice!

8, the boyfriend brother once went to my house, at my house to eat, because I have something busy, so let him go first. Dad loved to drink, and by the time I got home, they had both been drinking for a while!!!! I deliberately said, "Dad, who is this handsome guy?" Dad said, "Isn't that your object?" I said, "No, he's not back yet!!!! As a result, the father said happily: "This young man is not bad, dump your partner and he is good!!!! ”

9, I have a sister who is two years younger than me, when she was young, she turned over my school bag, quite carefully read my notes, I said with an old face: Is it completely incomprehensible. You'll be exposed to it in a few years. My sister nodded her head as if she understood, and then obediently asked me: Brother, can you borrow me this notebook of yours? When I was questioning, my sister said: My teacher said that I can't find anyone uglier than my writing, and tomorrow I will show my teacher to see if she is convinced.

10. A new single girl in the unit will call her to do anything during the internship. Once the boss told Meng Meizi to say, "I will give you half a day off, and you will go to the kindergarten to hold a parent-teacher meeting for my children." Meng Meizi said: "Your son's parent-teacher conference, I will go to open?" This is not appropriate! The boss smiled: "I am giving you a chance, if you go to meet a single handsome guy, it is not just to solve your single problem." "As soon as the cute girl heard that there was a handsome guy, she immediately agreed, and when she came back, she complained with us, and the parents of some children were noisy! Later, I learned that Meng Meizi was the niece of the boss!

11, confessed to the female colleague I liked, but the female colleague rejected my confession, she said to me: You are a good person, but I don't want to fall in love now. But it didn't take long for the female colleague to get along with someone else, and I asked her: Didn't you say you didn't want to fall in love now? A female colleague said to me: Do you want me to directly say that you are ugly? Alas, now girls dare to say any nonsense in order not to want to fall in love with me.

#Funny Moment# #年度搞笑名场面 #