The couple took their children to the hospital to see an ophthalmologist. The husband looked up, pulled up his wife and left. The wife was inexplicable and busy asking her husband what was going on. The husband explained, "You didn't see the doctor

The couple took their children to the hospital to see an ophthalmologist. The husband looked up, pulled up his wife and left. The wife was inexplicable and busy asking her husband what was going on. The husband explained: "Didn't you see that the doctor himself was wearing myopic glasses?" If he really had the ability, why didn't he cure himself first? The wife said, "You know a fart!" It is only because he is short-sighted that he has experience. ”

2, the family eats together, the mother is a hard to give the sister-in-law a dish, just say to the mother: Mom, good evil I am also your little cotton jacket, you give me a little clip! My mother didn't even look at me and said: You are at most a small cotton jacket in the summer, a short shirt in the winter, or sleeveless!

3, the most annoying thing is that some girls suddenly appear after listening to the compliments: "Oh, I bet, you say this to all beautiful girls, right?" "Nonsense, of course, you don't all vote for the same resume when you look for a job!"

4, A went to hell after death, the little devil led him to pick a cell, the first room is a group of men and women are soaked in boiling water, each skin is open flesh, A does not enter the death. The second room was not much better than that, and the people inside were all separated by the bitten head and feet of the beast, and A refused. Coming to the third room, a group of people soaked in the waist-deep cesspool to drink tea, A felt that it was acceptable and went in, and after a while the little devil came in and announced: Everyone is finished with afternoon tea time, please resume the handstand posture.

5. When I was a child, my family was relatively poor, and the children of the poor were early in charge. Every day when I came back from school, my sister was responsible for boiling water to cook, while I was responsible for feeding the old sow that the family had raised! Every day, small sweet potatoes, leftovers and wild vegetables are mixed in the pot and boiled for a while, and the pigs are fed with buckets. Once, I saw the old sow "eat happily, even more delicious than the delicacies", and when I was hungry, I reached into the pig's trough, grabbed a sweet potato and put it in my mouth and chewed it... Sure enough, eating sweet potatoes like this has a different flavor! At this time, I saw the old sow glance at me and silently give me a place...

6, the old man is a big pig farmer in the village, once sold wild boar meat to earn more than 7 million, my father immediately wrapped a mountain head to raise wild boar after listening. Yesterday my dad went to the market to sell pork, and my mom and I drove the wild boar for a walk in the mountains. While the old mother was hurrying, she counted, and suddenly exclaimed: "Hey, why is there one more?" Then the old mother counted again, patted her head, "Oh, I just counted you!" "I'm dripping with my mother!"

7, our boss likes to fish, every weekend out of the wild fishing, I asked the boss curiously: what is the difference between wild fishing and fish pond fishing? The boss replied with a smile: Fishing in the fish pond is like a matchmaker introducing a blind date, and wild fishing is like free love! It doesn't feel the same... Before the boss could finish speaking, I saw the boss lady with a somber face and walked in from outside...

8, at noon today, my girlfriend and I were tired of climbing the mountain and said to her: Find a place to sit, right? She looked around: There should be no one in this wilderness, right? Do it, do it... So my first field battle happened so unexpectedly!

9. Before my wife married me, I worked as a coach in a martial arts school, and my skills were extraordinary. After marriage, I found that my wife was physically strong and had muscles all over her body. Once, I took my wife to climb a mountain and met a wild bear. Frightened, I hurriedly pulled my wife to lie down and pretend to die, otherwise I would definitely be slapped to death by the bear. Unexpectedly, after the bear took a look at his wife, he directly lay on the ground, and his wife carried me away. I can't forget the sympathetic look in The Bear's eyes...

10. Henan has not won a single cyber violence, but Henan has not lost a single national uprising. Henan Zhengda First Affiliated Hospital, a hospital to support 8,000 people, Henan Xuchang Fat Donglai donated 50 million, Jianye 10 million, Changyuan Medical Equipment Base has long been started to support, Sanquan's quick-frozen food, noodle king support grain noodles have arrived in Wuhan countless, this is your black Henan

1 My husband is really an understanding person, once accompanied him to take a walk after dinner, met a beautiful girl, felt familiar, suddenly remembered that she was a few days ago near a foot bath massage club, opened I to do the big sword to know the girl, he smiled at me slightly, greeted, walking it ..., just don't know what to do, the old man said with a serious face: Well, walk. The old man cleverly resolved my embarrassment, and I am very grateful to him

12, Mother: Girl, how is this boy's family you are in? Me: His family's food and clothing are responsible for special people, and special cars are delivered to home! Mom: What did his parents do? So generous? Me: Ordinary employees of the enterprise! Mom: What are you kidding? How much money can enterprise workers send, I don't know? Me: It's the poor salary, the things in the mall can't afford to buy, so you can only shop from Taobao!

13, my father-in-law felt that he was an unlucky egg, so he ran to the temple to burn incense and worship the Buddha. After arriving, he saw the book "Treasure in the Heart" on the horizontal plaque and couldn't help but sigh wonderful! The meaning of these four words is probably: "There is no obstacle to karma, in the heart of the source, the Buddha's power is pure, and everything is gone." Seeing the abbot, the father-in-law sighed again and again. The abbot said with some embarrassment, "Lord, you seem to have seen the opposite." ”

14. My cousin and my girlfriend fell in love when they were studying at HIT, and after my cousin finished his doctorate, he went to work at a law firm in Beijing. I have worked in Beijing for 3 years, visited the commercial street with my girlfriend many times, and many stores have changed. Some shop decoration decoration, closing the door, the only constant is this, the banner in front of the store reads: The last 3 days, the whole 20!! It's been 3 years after the last 3 days, and I don't know how long the boss plans to do it!!