1. A rich man from India came to China to travel, got off the plane and booked a ticket back to India on the way to the hotel, and quietly left China without playing. After returning to India, the rich father was strange

1. A rich man from India came to China to travel, got off the plane and booked a ticket back to India on the way to the hotel, and quietly left China without playing. After returning to India, the rich father asked his son strangely: "How did you come back when you first arrived in China?!" The son said with some trepidation: "It's not good, China is going to attack the mainland, the streets and alleys are posted with slogans, writing "print", "laser printing", "fast printing", door-to-door printing, 3D printing." If I hadn't run so fast, I'm afraid I wouldn't have seen you!" Father said: Thanks to the fact that you have learned a little Chinese before, thank you!

2. The little uncle did not have good academic performance, and went to New Oriental to learn cooking at the age of 15. Now 5 years later, the little uncle has become the chef of the Michelin Western restaurant, and the other day he jumped to start his own small restaurant. Every morning, the little uncle will go to the market to buy 15 yuan a pound of crucian carp. As a result, when I went to the mall today, the little uncle found that the crucian carp was suddenly 25 pounds, so he asked: "Boss, why did the price of fish suddenly rise so much?" The boss said, "Because the price of cigarettes has risen!" The little uncle wondered: "What is the relationship between oil prices and tobacco prices?" The boss said quietly, "I, the fish seller, as well as the fish seller and the fish farmer, all smoke!" ”

3. The brother-in-law was hit by a Bentley on the way to buy vegetables, and died on the spot with cerebral hemorrhage, and the owner of the car lost more than 9 million yuan. The sister immediately became a rich woman, and there were many young men pursuing her. My sister asked a handsome guy, "You want to be my boyfriend, so what would you do?" The handsome guy said very seriously, "I will love you." The sister was immediately happy and asked, "It seems that you can do anything, so what can you not do?" The handsome guy said solemnly, "I'm not going to leave you." "Then my sister married this young man...

4. Long Xuan was determined to lose weight, so After dinner, Long Xuan accompanied her to exercise. Just when he encountered Long Xuan walking alone, Long Xuan had never had an object, and secretly envied Long Xuan. Long Xuan greeted him and said: "Do you accompany the object to walk the bend?" Long Xuan gasped and said, "Runaway!" Dragon Stunned: Really? Of course! Long Xuan's surname Fendi said: Then I am not welcome! He said that he was going to go over to bao Longxuan object. Both Long Xuan and the object were suddenly anxious: What are you doing? Long Xuan said: Didn't you say that you wanted me to "take away"? Long Xuan smiled bitterly: I see that you want to be "violently beaten"!

5. Sitting very tired in the company, when you leave work, you want to go home quickly to take a bath and be comfortable, after work, wait for the Didi Express downstairs. In my stunned gaze, a brand new Maserati, down came a big handsome man with a suit collar and white gloves. He opened the door for me with great grace, and when I got into the car, I nodded my head with satisfaction and asked, "When did your express service become so good, this car should be worth a lot of money." The handsome man said modestly: "Beauty, this is what our chauffeur should do!" "After listening to me, I was particularly touched, and with tears changed the destination of twenty kilometers to two kilometers!!

6. At work, I received a call from my wife: "Husband, how much money do you have in your silver card?" Me: "50 pieces, what's wrong?" The wife was stunned: "I will save you 2150 yuan." Me: "That's really great. "Sure enough, after a while, my mobile phone came to sms reminder, the bank card current balance was 2200 yuan, but five minutes later came to the TEXT message: your tail number bank cardTM withdraws 2200 yuan, and the current balance is 0 yuan"

7. Last night the rich man and a few friends invited to KTV and called out a few princesses who sang along. The one sitting next to the rich man was quite beautiful, and in the middle she took the rich man's hand and sang a few songs. At the end, she said to the rich man: "It is not easy to make some money, don't come to this kind of place in the future, look at the cocoon on your hand, save some money for your sister-in-law and children!" At that moment, the rich man's heart was full of mixed feelings, but he couldn't say the words to his mouth, and he choked in his throat like a fish thorn! How the rich man wanted to tell her: "That's what I rubbed out of playing mahjong!" ”

8. The sister-in-law and his wife were pregnant at the same time, and they helped their wives buy a radiation protection suit, and the two hid in the room to try on clothes. After a while, the voice of the little sister-in-law came: "Sister, can you take off your underwear and try it?" Wife: "Why?" The sister-in-law said, "Don't you feel the heat?" Inside came the sound of a creep. Then the sister-in-law said, "Sister, look, we don't look like those two little people on the refrigerator!" ”

9. On a business trip, the manager called in the middle of the night, I rushed over, saw him lying on his stomach under the bed, and asked him what was wrong? The manager said he couldn't sleep and asked me to chat with him! I helped him to the bed: you close your eyes and rest, you can't sleep to recuperate! Manager: Or I'll go to your room and chat with you... I looked out the window at the lightning and thunder, manager, you are afraid of thunder!

10. I was too tired to go home to eat at night, so I thought about eating downstairs. So I ate beef powder downstairs, and when I called the boss to pay the bill, I burped and pulled to the place where my chest hurt, and the pain caused my tears to fall on the spot. Then the boss looked at me with a shocked face while holding ten dollars, covering my chest and shedding tears, and after a few months, I went to the store again, and I said I want beef powder and ham and enoki mushrooms. The boss looked at me for a while and said cautiously: The price has recently increased!

11. Recently my girlfriend is losing weight and is not pulling me together to practice yoga with her! After practicing for a while, my girlfriend said, "I can feel my toes as I sit there with my legs straight!" I looked at it with envy and said, "Since I gave birth to a child, I can't do it!" Bending hurts a little! The girlfriend was just about to answer the call, and the son who was writing his homework suddenly sat on the ground, made a yoga gesture and said to the girlfriend: "Auntie, you see, I can also, but I don't like to eat toes..."?

 #Funny Moment #Funny Funny Paragraph ##搞笑幽默趣闻 #