My husband divorced because his ex-wife was not pregnant, and after being introduced, he married me. Not long ago, I was watching TV with my husband on my stomach, when suddenly my husband's phone rang, and it was his ex-wife who called: "I."

My husband divorced because his ex-wife was not pregnant, and after being introduced, he married me. Not long ago, I was watching TV with my husband on my big belly, when suddenly my husband's phone rang, and it was his ex-wife who called: "I'm pregnant." The husband replied: "Don't think about me, we have been divorced for a year, absolutely not mine." Ex-wife: "I know, I just want to tell you that it is you who is wrong!" ”

Take a bath with my girlfriend, she has to let me take off first, I take off my shirt, she also let me take off my pants, I said are you sick? She didn't speak, and when I had finished taking off my pants, she took off her clothes and went into the shower, washing and washing her and saying: You don't take off your pants, I thought you were a man...

After I was fired from JD Express after I had too many bad reviews, I went to work at Greenland Group. The company's new girl, people do not talk much, beautiful and fashionable, the vision is very unique. He came up to me that afternoon and asked, "Do you have a girlfriend?" I thought to myself that we would also want to get away with it, so I said, "Yes! The girl suddenly breathed a sigh of relief: "Great, now I will be relieved!" I was so frustrated that she said to my ear, "I like the difficulty, I like the challenge!"

The abbot went on a business trip to Mount Everest and bought a ticket for a hard seat on the train. After getting into the car, he found that the opposite was a very beautiful-looking girl with exquisite features, so he was ready to go to the conversation. Constellation girls generally know, and the abbot decided to start with the constellation. He smiled and said, "Sister, what are you?" The girl looked up at him and said, "You're blind, I'm a hard seat."

My children don't know why they have been trying to listen to stories lately, and they don't sleep at night when they don't tell them. In order to coax the child to sleep, I had to say: Cinderella's crystal shoes will disappear after 0 o'clock in the evening, and Cinderella will lose a crystal shoe in a panic. At this time, the children in the family asked: Dad, didn't you say that at 0 o'clock at night, the magic crystal shoes would disappear? Why did the last crystal shoe remain? I thought about it and said: Because in the face of love, there is no logic. Seeing the child seem to understand and nodded, I! Wiped the sweat from his forehead.

I have a crush on a female colleague of the company for more than a year, but this matter is not known by the female boss, the female boss said to me: Brother, if you dare not confess, then it is like this, you write a love letter every day, I help you transfer it to her, just like this, after two months of your coming and going, the female colleague is still cold to me. I went to learn from the female boss: why did she write so many love letters, she was still not impressed by me. The landlady said shyly: Brother, in fact, I have peeked at your love letters, I think you are very literary, very in line with the image of Prince Charming in my heart, so those letters, I have been reluctant to give her, or you will be my Prince Charming, I will raise you for a lifetime. I thought about it, and the landlady was right, instead of finding one you like, it was better to find someone who liked yourself. I said yes. Today, I live in the landlady's big villa, and the two of us live happily ever after.

My home is on the 6th floor and I came home with my boyfriend last night. Entered the elevator to play mobile phone, did not pay attention to see, on the fifth floor out of the elevator, found that it was wrong, so take the stairs up. As a result, I went to the seventh floor because I looked down at my mobile phone, and when I turned back, I found my boyfriend quietly following me. I asked him: Why don't you tell me I went wrong? The boyfriend said: I just want to see whose house you really want to go to!!!!

On the airfield, the plane has landed on the ground and is still taxiing, and the passengers all stand up to take their luggage. For safety the stewardess said on the radio: "Ladies and gentlemen, our plane is still taxiing, please sit down and close the overhead luggage rack." As a result, a hurried broadcast became: "Ladies and gentlemen, our plane is gliding OK..." At this time, the captain of the "ding-dong" said: "Who is praising me?" "It made the people on the plane laugh.

After working as a customer service in Pinduoduo for half a year, he was promoted to manager, and his salary rose to 30,000 yuan. Although the salary has become higher, I have to work overtime at the company every day. Last night, my wife went to the supermarket to buy something, called me and told me: "Husband, I bought a lot of things, why can't I take it back?" I was at work at the time, and I said, "I'm working overtime at the company, you find a taxi, or call a friend to help you pick it up!" Five minutes later, my daughter-in-law called me and said, "Husband, I've got it done, and you can't think of how I got it back when I'm tired, I ate half of it, and the rest came back." ”

When the brother-in-law was riding the subway, his Huawei P40 rang, and the headset answer was from his sister. As soon as she connected with her sister, she was a cannon and asked her brother-in-law why he had to roll up the lower part of the toothpaste cylinder, so that she did not find toothpaste for half a day. The brother-in-law listened quietly and calmly and succinctly stated the reason: good squeeze! The sister-in-law standing in front of the brother-in-law looked at her brother-in-law and said with a grudge: No matter how much you squeeze, you can't step on my feet! The brother-in-law was helpless: Isn't this adding to the chaos?

#Funny paragraph # #搞笑 #