A collection of funny stories
2. Our family does not eat spicy, so the cooking is relatively light. But when my boyfriend's brother came to dinner once, my mother put a lot of chili peppers in every dish. At the dinner table, my parents kept picking dishes for my boyfriend, and my boyfriend ate sweating and didn't dare to stop. After dinner, my mom said to my boyfriend, "Remember the taste? Our whole family is this taste, know how to treat my daughter right?? Hearing this, I burst into tears.
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2, I am a nurse, these days boyfriend to find a breakup, I wash my face with tears every day, I asked the leader for a week of leave, I overeat every day, a week I weighed 10 pounds, my vacation ended, dragging the fat body to the hospital to work. Infusion in the ward, a grandfather smiled and looked at me and said I was about to retire, right? I was embarrassed and said, "Say what, I'm only 20 years old this year, and I'm young!" The family next to him said: "It is impossible, that year I still saw you pregnant with a baby, no matter how young you are, you have 30s." "I went, that's fat okay, I really want to pull the needle out for him and prick it again!"
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2. Today is Valentine's Day, after I dated my boyfriend, he sent me home and wrapped me downstairs at my house for a long time and refused to let go. I whispered, "Don't let go yet!" My dad should have seen it on the balcony, he will come down right away, you don't run yet, he said, see you again and kill you! After the boyfriend listened, the bag was tighter and said: "This time I don't run, I just wrapped you like this..." I was moved to tears, and the boyfriend cried again: "Anyway, I can't run him back..."
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2. My daughter-in-law, every time I pay a public grain icon, subsidize me 100 ocean allowance fee! The first few months are OK, and the monthly pocket money is relatively rich. These two months are almost, the weather is hot, and it is a bit excessive, and recently it has been tighter. In order to increase my enthusiasm for paying grain, my daughter-in-law increased the subsidy to 150. To be honest, that's 50 more, and the attraction is quite big!!!
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2. I called my husband and asked softly: Honey! What time do you leave work? What time can I come back, people miss you. The husband said calmly: Tonight is estimated to be working overtime until dawn, you should sleep first. Putting down the phone, I immediately jumped up from the mahjong table. Shouted: Within five minutes, all evacuated, my husband will be back immediately!
2. Netizens: "My father's retirement salary is 5500 yuan, my mother's retirement salary is 11000 yuan, my grandmother's retirement salary is 9000 yuan, and my grandfather's retirement salary is 10000 yuan!" So I receive pocket money from my family every month! "Why is Dad so different from the others?" Because dad jumped to a private company after working in a state-owned enterprise for 5 years, the company purchased social security according to the minimum payment base, and there was no difference when he was employed, and the difference came out immediately after retirement. This is also the reason why so many people want to participate in the "national examination icon"!
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2. The three-year marriage is over, and I walk out of the civil affairs hall with my wife. The wife turned around and said lightly, our fate is here, find a good girl again! I was silent. The wife continued, in order to compensate you, 100,000 turns you are stuck. I turned my head, my eyes were red, and I still didn't speak. The wife sighed lightly and said, don't be sad, the emotional thing can not be forced. I finally couldn't help it, I was going to burst out and said, can I not be sad? I've seen you three times in three years.
The first time, it was a blind date, that time in the café, we fell in love at first sight, you said to me with affection, married, I will not restrain you from other women, your salary, you can save your own card, come back after 12 o'clock in the evening, I will not blame you. After hearing your words, how touched I am, Heaven is not thin to me! Gave me a good daughter-in-law.
The second time, at the wedding, 50 tables were set up in the hotel, I remember that day, the high friends were full of seats, romantic and warm, sweet candy is not as sweet as my heart, the thick rose fragrance is not as good as the fragrance of your body, and the festive day is full of laughter. As a result, the ceremony ends, you take a call and disappear.
The third time, that is, today, Lao Tzu waited for you at home for three years, looking forward to your return every day, not even touching your hand, you said I am sad or not? The wife replied, don't put on the old woman, give you fifty thousand pocket money a month, not enough to spend, you say how many women you have wasted. If you remember where our wedding room was? The old lady will give you another 50 million. I... I, slapped myself hard.
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