My dad and I don't usually deal with each other, and that day I pit him and he beat me up. I cried and said: What is the ability to smoke your own son, and you have the ability to smoke someone else's son. Daddy listened

My dad and I don't usually deal with each other, and that day I pit him and he beat me up. I cried and said: What is the ability to smoke your own son, and you have the ability to smoke someone else's son. Dad listened, it made sense, and then remembered that when I just pit him, my son was also hitting him with a slingshot, and then walked up to my son and smoked my son. Now, I'm crying with my son!

2) A woman often moves furniture around, sometimes renovating two or three rooms in a week. And her husband was always frustrated that he couldn't find something. One night, when he heard someone knocking on the front door, he jumped out of bed in a daze, ran into the dark living room, and hit the wall. The noise woke his wife from her sleep. He heard her husband shouting, "Vera, where did you put the front door again?"

3, an old man angrily came to the post office to complain: "When I was just out of the house, I found a card hanging on the door, saying that the postman came to deliver the package, and no one was at home." I was obviously at home, and I didn't hear a knock at the door! The post office staff apologized to him and took the package out and gave it to him. He said happily: "What I have been waiting for for half a month has finally received today." The staff asked curiously, "What a good thing?" The old man replied, "Hearing aids." ”

4, do not be a fool of others, do not let others take themselves as fools, in other words, do not think that others can not see, do not let people flesh and promises. Don't expect colleagues beyond the relationship between colleagues, no matter whether you have any relationship before, you are just colleagues in the workplace, you can do not make a trip to each other is already very good, do not expect to push the heart, bend yourself and other ideal states. Do not allow your personal life and social circle to intersect excessively with your work circle, and maintain an appropriate distance between the two.

5, Xiao Wang came back from a business trip and found that the refrigerator at home was broken, and the things inside the refrigerator were broken. So I gave the repair master a door to repair the refrigerator. Xiao Wang opened the refrigerator and asked the master: Is it cold? The master bowed his head and did not speak. Five minutes later, Xiao Wang asked again: Do you feel cold?" At this time, the master said angrily: Don't ask me if I am cold! My wife and I divorced and took the family's money, and I am very cold now!

6, just after eating, I was sitting in the living room watching a movie, my wife suddenly came over nervously, pointed to the clothes on my body and asked me: Your clothes are so dirty, should you wash it? I was suddenly a little inexplicably moved: Is my wife going to wash my clothes? She had been married for three years, and she had never washed her clothes, not even if it had anything to do with housework. I replied, Well, it's time to wash. As a result, she came over and wiped her hands directly on me, and when she was done, she turned and left. Looking at her back, I clenched my fists and silently took off my clothes!

7, the bus is open air conditioning, I can't help but the body of the flatulence out of the body, air conditioning cycle, the whole car smell pungent, can not breathe, some people in the crowd complained, who is so lacking in morality? Suddenly someone shouted that the mobile phone had been stolen, and another shouted, it must have been the fart that stole it just now, I didn't even think about it, shouted: "I didn't steal the mobile phone." Everyone turned to look at me, and someone asked, "Did you steal the phone?" Me: "No. "That fart was put by you." I......

8, today with friends to go to the court to observe, this is my first time to go, looking at the majestic and solemn scene, I feel very nervous, after going in, everyone is sitting in a very serious way. After the judge appeared in court, someone suddenly shouted "all stand up"! Suddenly my brain twitched, I stood up and shouted, "Hello teacher!" Then the audience burst into laughter. And I was thrown out of the courtroom

9, the Spring Festival to go to the girlfriend's house to visit the New Year, ask the girlfriend to buy what gifts to go, the girlfriend told me to buy affordable. So I bought a bucket of peanut oil, a bag of 50 pounds of rice, a bag of 50 pounds of white noodles, and another 10 pounds of native pork, and my future father-in-law looked at me and asked me, "Is your boy here here to help the poor?" ”

10, New Year's day to go to the girlfriend's house to visit the New Year, ask the girlfriend to buy what gifts to go, the girlfriend told me to buy affordable. So I bought a bucket of peanut oil, a bag of 50 pounds of rice, a bag of 50 pounds of white noodles, and another 10 pounds of native pork, and my future father-in-law looked at me and asked me, "Is your boy here here to help the poor?" "I...

1 Since I was a child, I like to help others, and as soon as Grandma Wang in the hospital fell, I immediately sent her to the hospital. The doctor jokingly asked me, "Aren't you afraid to touch porcelain?" I said, "Don't be afraid!" Because Grandma has a beautiful and considerate granddaughter!

12. An old man with a fairy wind and crane bones played tai chi in the park, and his moves were full of immortality. A young man walked over and asked, "Uncle, I heard that the tai chi actual combat was beaten badly a few years ago, what is the use of you practicing this thing?" The old man smiled lightly: "Oh, young man, today let you see and see, I stand still, use your greatest strength to beat me to try!" "So the young man punched the old man hard, and was blackmailed eighty-six thousand ... ———————————————————————

13, a few days ago, I was at work, a female colleague sent me a message, the content is that she asked two other female colleagues to go to the bar after work to drink together, want to pull me together. I was excited, but I couldn't go at night. He deliberately replied: Alas! Wolves have more meat and less meat, and the old man is no longer as brave as he was then. She immediately gave me back three words "Zhuge Liang". I never figured it out!

14, this day at work, the female colleague on the other side has been looking at me embarrassedly, secretly looking at me for a day, and my face is red. When I was about to leave work, she finally came to me: "Are you in trouble tonight?" I was so happy that I was about to fly, and the nervous fawn rammed: "Yes, I have time every night." She smiled satisfactorily: "Since that's the case, can you help me get off work, my boyfriend has already picked me up downstairs." ”