Today, I was tired of shopping, sitting on a bench resting sitting next to me the little fart kid holding a book and kept asking me how to read the word, what the word read I patiently told him one by one later, he suddenly

Today, I was tired of shopping, sitting on a bench resting sitting next to me The little fart child holding a book has been asking me how to read this word, what the word read I patiently told him one by one Later, he suddenly kissed me on the cheek, and then took out a small flower from behind and said: "Teacher, happy holidays!" ”

2, and the husband married for more than a year, although the feelings are very good, but there is no feeling when in love. When I went out to dinner at noon, I wanted to show my love, but my husband refused to agree. I said: Now that it's windy outside, if you don't hold me tight, if you send me to another lord's house, I'll see what you do if you don't send me back." My husband took a puff of his cigarette and sighed: You look at what you look like, even if it is a level 12 typhoon, people will send me back against the wind! I:......

3, the chairman's female secretary carried a new bag to work, only to know that Chanel has a new model! When I got home from work, I immediately pulled my husband to accompany me to the mall to buy. I was about to swipe my card when my husband suddenly bent down on the ground and picked up ten dollars. He cried and said, "I haven't touched money in a long time!" "The salesman who sold the bag was stunned." I immediately explained: "Now it's all mobile phone payment, or swipe the card, rarely use cash!" Haha..." After saying that, he calmly took the ten yuan in her husband's hand and put it into the bag.

4, "Husband, today is my birthday, how to arrange the evening..." "Same as last year..." "Then you buy movie tickets first, book a hotel, I put on makeup first..." "Wife, last year I added a class in the unit at night..."

5, there is a noodle shop downstairs in our community, the hostess looks very beautiful, I heard that her husband became a monk. I often went to the noodle restaurant downstairs to eat, the taste was very good, and the price was fair, always maintained at fifteen yuan a bowl. I suggested that it could go up to twenty dollars, after all, the taste was good. The next day I went to eat noodles and the price really increased. It wasn't until a month later that I found out that other people went to eat noodles for fifteen dollars a bowl, and it increased me alone.

6. The other party asked, "Is it Zhang Wei?" I said no. At 0:36 p.m., the man called again: "Zhang Wei, have you slept?" I said you made a mistake. At 1:21 the phone rang again: "Zhang Wei, what are you doing?" I got angry: "My name is not Zhang Wei!" At 4 a.m., I couldn't sleep, remembered the phone call, so I dialed it, and the other person asked confusedly, "Who, what's the matter?" I said coldly, "It's okay, I just want to ask you if Zhang Wei found it!"

7, after class, it is raining heavily outside. The students with umbrellas rushed into the rain and fog happily, and the students who did not carry umbrellas but carried books on their heads also rushed out, only Ah Chao and Ah Wei stood at the door and looked at everyone sadly. "Cough! What do you think? The teacher is right! ”。“ What's right? Ah Wei asked. When the book is used, there is less hate! Ah Chao said

8, go out today and find an underground garage. Because the space is a bit cramped, I let my son watch from the side when I reversed the car, and told me when I hit the wall. Just listening to the "bang", the rear of the car hit the wall. The son said, "At 3:45 p.m. ”。

9, buddy use WeChat to shake to a beautiful woman: Miss, you are so beautiful, what do you do? Beauty: I do service work. Dude Joy: Ah, I want to be your customer! Where do you work? Beauty: I put makeup on the corpse at the crematorium, when are you coming? nabs:......

10, go to primary school, once the school organized to watch a movie, what name I forgot, I remember there is a strong female protagonist of a shot man, all the little pot friends are covering their eyes... As far as my eyes widened, I asked the class teacher sitting next to me stupidly, asking, "Teacher, why don't they take off their clothes when they sleep?" "Teacher...

1 has a private fruit knife. When I arrived at the company today, I saw a colleague cutting an apple with my fruit knife! Cut a piece and stuff it in your mouth! I pretended not to see it, deliberately looking for something! My colleague asked me what I was looking for? I deliberately shouted, "Oh, look for the knife that cut the old skin on the foot yesterday!" "That cargo is immediately dumbfounded!" Everyone was looking at him! I also have an apple in my mouth!

12, 8-year-old nephew came to my house as a guest, after dinner and bed, I passed by my son's bedroom, at the door to listen to him and my 4-year-old son said, "Brother, you must not fall in love early, too painful, I can't talk to other girls now, pocket money to be handed over to her for safekeeping, there can be no small actions in class, she still doesn't let me play with Liu Daming, saying that she hates Liu Daming, I wanted to break up, but I couldn't copy her homework after breaking up, hey..."

13, after graduation, I entered a private company, monthly salary of 10,000, friends into a state-owned enterprise, take 3,000, ten years later, our difference is too obvious. After graduating in 10 years, I stayed in Beijing and went to a private company, and my monthly salary reached 10,000 when I joined the company. The friend chose to return to his hometown in a third-tier city and entered a state-owned enterprise. Before I went back, everyone was very envious of me at the party, thinking that the big city had a high income and a decent job. Ten years have passed, my salary has risen to more than 30,000, but I still have no fixed home, no time to fall in love in Beijing, busy with work every day, and no personal life.

14, take advantage of the female boss to go to the toilet, change her mobile phone to my name to husband... As a result, she called me in the evening! Told me not to go back tonight and to work overtime at the company. At that time, I was working overtime, but I didn't see the female manager