1. The professor sits opposite the peasant on the train. When bored, the professor said: I have a problem, if you don't know, give me 5 yuan; If you come up with a question, if I don't know, I will give you 500 yuan, how? Farmers agree. PROFESSOR: How far is the Moon from Earth? The farmer did not say a word and handed the professor 5 yuan. The farmer asked: Three legs up the mountain, four legs down the mountain, what kind of animal? The professor was puzzled and had no choice but to give the farmer 500 yuan. The farmer took the money and prepared to sleep. The professor asked: What is the animal with three legs up the mountain and four legs down the mountain? The farmer didn't say a word, handed the professor 5 yuan, and went to sleep! Low education and high IQ, too terrible!
2. The friend's family is very poor, but his family still has to let the friend go on a blind date. I made an appointment to meet, wandered around for a while, and it was almost time for dinner. Friend: It's time to eat, are you hungry? The woman said driply: Hungry. Friend: Let's go home and eat, after eating, if you still want to visit, I will accompany you. Since then, he has never introduced a friend to a friend at home!
3. The little uncle is the workshop director of Ford Motor, and once because of a machine failure, he was seriously injured and had to amputate his right leg. Later, he lost his job and had to work as a janitor in an electronics factory. The little uncle was on night duty that day, and when he came back from dinner, he saw a beautiful woman on the side of the road crying. The little uncle saw the woman crying the most, and immediately went forward to inquire about the situation. After a few words of conversation, I learned that it was beaten by her boyfriend. The little uncle comforted her a few words, and then she began to complain to the little uncle. In the end, the more the little uncle listened, the more angry he became, there were still such men in the world who were inferior to beasts! He pulled the beautiful woman aloud and said, "Go, go to my place, I will help you ambition him!" ”
4. My husband and I are both married for the second time, but our life after marriage is particularly happy. On Mother's Day, I asked my mother-in-law and my father-in-law and my parents to come to my house and get together as a family. I didn't buy any gifts and planned to wrap them in a red envelope. While my mother-in-law was chatting with my mother, I went back to my bedroom to get the money and found a bundle of money on the windowside table. I called my husband over and asked, "Honey, is this money for our mother?" My husband shook his head: No, the money is still in my wallet. I felt very strange and said: What happened to this money, was it given by your mother or by my mother? My father-in-law and my father suddenly came in and said, "Have you two forgotten that there is another father?" Not only is the mother great, but the father is also great, and we give it.
5, the new cleaner aunt of the unit brings her own food every day, the color and fragrance are complete, I often follow the rubbing to eat and drink. After eating like this for almost a month, I finally felt a little embarrassed. Then give her 500 yuan and say, "Big Mom, you take this money to buy chicken legs." "Big mom doesn't want my money, said: "The company's salary is low, it's not easy to make money, you take the flowers yourself, my family lives in a villa, I go out is a Lamborghini, I have saved 8 million yuan in pension money." The aunt said bluntly: "I don't owe you this little money... I do cleaning purely as a personal hobby! "I seriously suspected that Big Mama was bragging until after 3 days of continuous stalking that I believed...
6, rely on plastic surgery as the cousin of the colonel's flower, found a boyfriend who can drive Maserati one-handed. That time we had dinner together, she kept praising her boyfriend for not only being rich but also romantic. I asked her, "What is romance?" What is rich? Cousin: "For example, if you have a birthday, the romantic and rich boyfriend will take you to a candlelit dinner for 10,000 yuan, the romantic but no money boyfriend will light a candle for you but there is no dinner, and the boyfriend who is not romantic and has no money will only take you to the bun shop to eat buns." Me: "What about an unromantic but rich boyfriend?" Cousin: "I think he will take you to the bun shop to eat 10,000 yuan of buns." ”
7, and the girlfriend is still in love, every day can not finish the love words. Before going to bed at night, I looked at my girlfriend affectionately and said, "I only have you in my eyes." My girlfriend grabbed my ear, and I screamed in pain and asked her, "Did I say something wrong?" She roared: "Yesterday you said that you only have me in your heart, and today you have only me in your eyes. ”
8. In high school, after class, classmates rushed outside to buy box lunches. In order to arrive before the others, Lily took a short walk around, and as a result, the manhole cover in front of her was not covered and fell down! After a while, she climbed up the edge of the well, very embarrassed, a group of junior high school students walked past her in surprise, she was in a hurry, while climbing and saying: Hey! It's so hard to fix! Junior high school students mistakenly thought it was a manhole cover, so they did not cause onlookers.
9, the mother-in-law is married again, the father-in-law is unbalanced, let me also help him find a wife! Then I pulled my father-in-law into the Tiannanhaibei chat and dating group! On this day, the father-in-law went online and asked a female netizen: "Where are you from?" Female netizen: "Yunnan, what about you?" Father-in-law: "Shandong! Female netizen: "You are from Shandong!" So would you drive an excavator? The father-in-law thought for a moment and asked, "Do you know the Six-Pulse Excalibur?" ”
10. I'm a second-rate chef, but I have a top-notch side chef who is my girlfriend. To say that she is first-class is not to say how good her side dishes are, but to say that she is young and beautiful. So my second-rate chef is also happy. Recently, I was ready to change places to work, and I found a hotel with a good face to talk about. Before leaving, the boss said to me: Can you let your assistant come to work alone and pay her the salary of both of you?
11, the manager let the new brother-in-law go to the bar to drink, the brother-in-law flew to the location to find that she was already drinking. The brother-in-law said: What is wrong with you, how do you remember to let me drink with you! The female director said sadly: Because of some trivial matters and quarreled with her husband, she ran out to drink when she was upset... The brother-in-law comforted: If you want to open, slowly it will get better! The female director said: I definitely can't go back tonight, I don't know where to stay! The brother-in-law said angrily: I am here to comfort you, what do you live about me! After saying that, the brother-in-law turned and left. Brother-in-law: I still want to arrange accommodation, think of the beauty, if I don't go fast, it is estimated that the wine money will let me pay!
#Funny Moment# #年度搞笑名场面 #
![The wife of Liu Yonggui, an old man who lives in the countryside, suffered from Parkinson's disease and has been suffering from illness for a long time, in order to treat his wife, Liu Yonggui spent all his savings, but his wife's illness was[fig]](data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAP///wAAACwAAAAAAQABAAACAkQBADs=)