laitimes

1, my family has an ancestral bracelet, female colleagues love to let go, directly put on, said: "Brother, you see, is it very suitable?" Just as she was about to speak, the landlady came over and grabbed a bracelet, two

author:Wow wow wow girl loves music

1, my family has an ancestral bracelet, female colleagues love to let go, directly put on, said: "Brother, you see, is it very suitable?" Just as she was about to speak, the landlady came over and grabbed the bracelet, and the two of you began to fight for me. Suddenly, with a bang, the hand skewer fell to the ground and fell into slag. The scene was suddenly embarrassing, honey wax, and then broken? I hurried to the round field and said, the years are safe. Can this fool the past?

2, my wife watched the beautiful women on TV driving sports cars one by one, feeling very cool, so I asked me to buy her a Bugatti Veyron. I said, "I'll buy you a driver's license when you get it!" "The wife went to the driving school the next day to learn to drive, and as a result, after three days of study, the driving school returned the money and said that the wife would find another high." I asked my wife, "What are you doing in driving school?" The wife said: "Nothing to do, just yesterday the coach asked me to see how much oil there was in the car, but I couldn't see the inside of the fuel tank, so I thought of using a lighter to illuminate it, but the coach stopped me and said that I wouldn't be allowed to learn to drive..."

3. When I was in high school, I met a group of fox friends and didn't study well all day. At that time, the league was on fire, and we often went over the wall to go out and play the league. This time, the five of us planned to go out for three days and three nights. Jump in front of the two classmates, go down and don't make a sound. I whispered to the students behind me, don't go, go back to the dormitory to sleep, they don't listen, I will go back to the dormitory myself. More than an hour later, they all returned from the principal's office with a sad face and asked me why I didn't go out, how did I know there was a teacher waiting outside? I said that those who usually jump out will tell the back to hurry up, and those who go out first tonight are silent.

4. When the female manager was five months pregnant, her husband abandoned her and married a rich woman. The female manager did not want to take her own life, and I had to marry her as a wife in order to stop her. Not long after marriage, she gave birth to a cute little Lolita for me. Now that this little Lori is five years old and her height has reached 1 meter 3, I hide from her family to take her to play roller coasters. The people around her shouted at her but did not say a word, and when they came out, they still frowned without saying a word. I quickly asked her, "Little fellow, are you scared silly?" She said calmly: "When you go out, you don't put the leftover sauce elbow in the refrigerator, will it be broken?" ”

5, broke up five years without contact with the first love girlfriend to send me a message today to ask me to borrow money. I said to her proudly, "Is 200,000 enough?" She smiled and replied, "Enough, or you have a way, you can rest assured, I will definitely return it to you in the future, I haven't seen you for more than five years!" What are you doing now, with free time to gather? Me: "It's all right, not enough, you talk, I'm doing unsecured loans now." ”

6. Lily's boyfriend is tall and brought back his new overalls yesterday. Thinking of the picture of the heroine wearing a blouse in the movie, it is really a sense of surname. Lily took her boyfriend's white shirt and put it on and dangled it in front of him, expecting his compliments. He slowly looked up at Lily and said, "A nice white shirt makes you feel like a doctor."

7. When my cousin was studying at a university in a foreign country, he met a graduate student sister of the university. The two people have feelings for each other and begin a sweet love. Today, my cousin followed his girlfriend home to see his parents, and it was raining heavily. As soon as I entered the door, I heard my girlfriend's mother complain: "Your father went to buy vegetables, he knew it was going to rain, and he didn't bring an umbrella when he went out." Then the cousin picked up his untied umbrella and rushed out, and the girlfriend said, "You've never seen my dad, how do you find it?" The cousin looked confident and said, "It doesn't matter, I can deduce your father's appearance from the way you and your mother look." ”?

8. Yesterday weekend, I was fighting with my daughter-in-law and her girlfriend at home with the landlord, and her girlfriend said to her daughter-in-law: I am in my thirties, but no man wants me. The daughter-in-law comforted: Everything is the best arrangement, there will always be a man driving a colorful cloud to marry you. My girlfriend suddenly paused, pointed at me and said, "Then can you give me your boyfriend?" I looked at my daughter-in-law with a confused face.

9. In the library, he accidentally overturned Yulemei and sprinkled it on the leg of a black silk girl next to him, and the girl couldn't help but say angrily: No eyes! You lick the old lady clean! As soon as I was about to apologize, I looked at the black silk sister in a daze, and saw that she did not follow the way she did not forgive, so I pulled my face and my heart crossed, and I lowered my head and held the thighs of the black silk sister and licked it, and then looked at her with contempt. Standing up and straightening his hair and clothes, he turned around and calmly walked out of the library in the midst of everyone's attention. After a while, I faintly heard a warm applause coming from behind me, and then....

10, the first time to spend the night at the girlfriend's house, the night is very late, the future mother-in-law has been mopping the floor in the living room. I asked her: Does Auntie not sleep so late? Who knows, she said in the old man's house: I will delay for a while and then go to sleep. But auntie, you are dragging from nine o'clock to twelve o'clock, and I should be asleep after a little longer.........

11. A group of robbers said a reasonable and famous sentence when robbing the bank: "Don't move, the money is the state, and the life is your own!" After the robbers returned, one of the new master robbers said, Boss, let's quickly count how much we robbed, and the old robber (elementary school culture) said: "Are you stupid? So much, when are you going to count? Don't you know if you watch the news tonight? ""

#Funny Moment #Funny Funny Paragraph ##搞笑幽默趣闻 #

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