1. Last night I finally lived with my girlfriend and woke up the next day, I hugged her and looked at her carefully for half a day, asking her how she removed her makeup and how it was different from usual? My girlfriend shyly threw herself into my arms and told me, you

1. I finally lived with my girlfriend last night and woke up the next day, I held her and looked at her carefully for half a day, asking her how she removed her makeup and how it was different from usual. My girlfriend shyly threw herself into my arms and told me that you have eaten instant noodles for so many years, don't you know that the packaging pattern is for reference only?

2. I was in college and I was studying at polytechnic and had to hang out with my boyfriend every night. It was 23:00 when I returned to the dormitory today, and when I arrived at the door of the dormitory, I found that I did not have the key with me. As I knocked on the door, I shouted: Sisters, I forgot to bring the key, help me open the door. Without moving, I changed my mouth and said: Baby, are you all asleep? After waiting for a few more minutes, no one opened the door for me. I had a stroke of genius and said: If you don't open the door for me, the spicy hot I bought for you will be cold! As soon as the words fell out, the door opened immediately!

3. On the birthday of a retired old cadre of the unit, on behalf of the unit and a female colleague on the street to order a cake to buy flowers to comfort, the result met the son who came home from school, this boy asked me for money to buy a remote control plane, a look at it is hundreds of kinds, did not give him, he did not say anything at the time, obviously unhappy to go. When I came home from work, my wife asked me to be honest with a calm face, go shopping with which goblin in the afternoon, and bought a bouquet of flowers. Fortunately, I kept one and secretly bought the toys that I muttered a few days ago. To the son! Before I could speak, my son said, "Mom, I came back to joke with you, but in fact I saw my uncle next door. ”

4. My sister was dumped by her boyfriend and lay on the window crying in the dark! The mother sat by the window and watched her sister say nothing, the sister felt that her mother finally began to hurt herself, she couldn't help but get up and wrap her mother's number and cry, her mother reached out and squeezed a large circle of fat on her sister's stomach, saying: "No wonder people don't want you!" This annoyed my sister: "You are a group, and you are not standing in the same team with me!" ”

5. Just after returning home from work, I was embarrassed to remember that the key had landed in the unit. Thinking that my wife should have arrived home before work, I knocked on the door and said: Wife, open the door, I forgot to bring the key! Suddenly, a small slit opened the door, and my wife handed me the key and closed it again. Soon, she opened the door for me again and dragged me into the house with a black line, but fortunately no one saw me!

6. When I first got married, my wife and I discussed getting a bank card. Each person deposited five hundred yuan a month, I held the card, she knew the password, no one could spend it. No one knows how much money is in it, and after death, give the children a surprise! After two years of marriage, I found out that she had tied the card to the V-letter and tied it to another shopping site. Finally I checked, and Kari still had a few bucks...

7. The poor boy was afraid that his mother-in-law would not agree and had not dared to see her, so he happened to have an empty house at home, and his girlfriend rented it. Just one day after working, the poor boy went to his girlfriend's house to borrow a bag of vinegar, and returned a bag of soy sauce and a bag of vinegar when he returned. On the third day, the poor boy borrowed 100 yuan from his mother-in-law and repaid 200. On the fourth day, the poor boy borrowed 5 eggs and returned a basket to his mother-in-law! After a week, the poor boy felt that he was almost like his mother-in-law, and finally plucked up enough courage to come to his mother-in-law's house again. The poor boy pointed at his girlfriend with his mother-in-law, blushing, unable to speak for half a day. The mother-in-law was shocked, and immediately stopped her girlfriend with both hands: "First of all, this borrowed, how many can you pay back?" The poor man said, "I don't plan to pay it back if I borrow this." ”

8. The wife recently became pregnant with her second child, and at this time, the neighbor's golden retriever will also be in labor. Maybe this would give my daughter a better understanding of how the child came about, so I took my eldest daughter to see the golden retriever and the little golden retriever that had just been delivered, and a few months later, my wife gave birth, and I took my daughter to the hospital to see his little brother. As we all stood in front of the nursery window and looked inward, my 3-year-old daughter asked me, "Is this all our family?" "I...

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