1, this afternoon, I went to Starbucks with a girl, the woman is a shop, very beautiful. Since it was a blind date, I didn't have to chat with her for a while, and finally she asked me if I was right

1, this afternoon, I went to Starbucks with a girl, the woman is a shop, very beautiful. Since it was a blind date, I didn't have to chat with her for a while, and finally she asked me if I was satisfied with her? I was stunned for a moment and said: You are the girl with the highest IQ I have ever seen, but I like girls who are stupid, girls are too smart, I am afraid that children will not have food to eat in the future, I am willing to be a brother with you. She was stunned for a while, raised her arm and gave me a big mouth, said a blind stream and ran... Sure enough, she was a very smart girl, and she really couldn't afford it.

2, our unit has a widow, very good figure, mature and charming, very charming. A lot of divorced men are pursuing her. But she didn't want any. She said that widows were looking for widows, and divorced men she did not look up to. One day the unit sent me and her on a business trip. I asked the leader why he didn't send a man to go on a business trip with me, and the leader said that everyone had more work at hand. Only the two of you have been doing less recently, so it's just the two of you. As a result, she got entangled with me and wanted to be my girlfriend.

3. When I was in college, I bought a bottle of Moutai wine. The brothers in the dormitory saw that the wine was straight, and they dried up the whole bottle in a few sips. Then he started playing drunkards everywhere, no one was allowed in the bedroom, who went in and beat whom. Finally, the principal was invited, and the principal said to the onlookers: This kind of person, give him a slap and wake up! Entering the dormitory, it was a slap to the roommate, and then the roommate punched the headmaster to the ground...

4, a friend's wife in the circle of friends every day to show their cooking skills, in fact, I go to do. His wife: A few girlfriends want to come and try my craft, and I am sad. Friends have to work overtime and can't cook, his wife: you don't have to work overtime, how much money is overtime? I'll give you double, whoa! That's 1,000 bucks, remove the salary, and tip you the rest. Friend:......

5. When I was a child, I helped my parents work in the fields until very late, so I lay in the grass on the side of the road, and I saw that it was dark. At this time, the sister of the Yan family rode home from work on her bicycle, because it was dark, she accidentally rolled over my calf, I was not in serious trouble, but the eldest lady of the Yan family bought a lot of delicious food to visit me. Since then, when my sister saw me, she jumped off the bike early. Sister, I really didn't touch c!

6. After my wife fell asleep, I held my mobile phone to watch the latest "Ten Deadly Sins". Unconsciously, I fell asleep with my mobile phone in my arms. I don't know what time it is, my wife suddenly sat up, I was startled to wake up, and asked urgently: What's wrong? The wife gasped and said, "Husband, I just dreamed that you fell into the river, and it scared me to death." My heart was warm, I thought that my daughter-in-law cared about me, and then I asked: And then? The wife pouted: Then, I chased you on the shore and asked for your passbook password, and you didn't say it, which woke me up urgently...

7. Once upon a time, there was a rich second generation who met a girl when he was traveling, and he liked that girl very much. He found out that the girl was in college, so he went to that school for the sake of the girl. A week after the start of school, the rich second generation couldn't stand it anymore, and called his father in tears and said, "I blame you!" Now my classmates don't dare to talk to me! The father asked, "Why?" Fu Er Dai said: "The students all take the subway to school!" And me? But with Rolls-Royce Charm Silver, do you know what my classmates think of me! The father said helplessly: "Son, I am sorry for you!" Dad promised you that he would earn money to buy you a subway next month! ”

8, this night insomnia, I drove a Rolls Royce to Run Didi, picked up a couple at the door of the bar. After getting on the bus, the man said: "Go back to bed early at night, I will play five rows with my brother, and tonight I will stay up all night!" "The woman doesn't say a word, a face of displeasure! When we arrived at the destination, the man got out of the car, and the woman did not get off, and directly closed the door. Open the window and say to me out loud, "Master, go to the nearest hotel, you can collect the car now!" "With the aim of helping others, I went out with one foot on the accelerator, and the man chased me three streets...?

9. The sister-in-law gave up her high-paying job and came to the front desk of a shopping mall opened by her husband. On this day, a young woman with a child asked: Can this child put it at the service desk to see it? Sister-in-law: Oh no, we don't have this service. Young Woman: If he goes in and steals food, I don't care. The sister-in-law looked helpless and had to agree. However, the child kept clamoring to go inside to find his mother. The sister-in-law asked: What do you like to steal the most when you go in? Child: Figs. Sister-in-law: If your sister lets you in today, will you still steal food? Kid: Not today! Sister-in-law: Why? Child: Because my mother said that I had diarrhea, and if I stole the figs, I would pull it even harder.

10, today driving to the side of the road waiting for customers to go to dinner, a beautiful woman opened the back door to sit up and said to me: Master go to XX Road! I looked back and said, "I'm not soliciting!" I'm waiting for someone! Then Beauty said, "Heavenly King GaidiHu." I really couldn't take her, or politely refused, she locked the car door and said, "You have to send me, your car sticker said that the limited female chaff friend." Big men have to talk!"

11. I enrolled my son in piano classes, and if I signed up, I could get a beautiful school bag. My son's bag had a hole in it, just in time. I and my wife want to register the fee, the wife is too expensive, I let my son talk about what is the benefit of reporting for piano class, my son can't remember, I guided him to have what we just need, very beautiful Oh! I also used my hand to compare the shape of the bag... The son immediately said: Yes! The piano teacher is beautiful! ...... Who knows what it's like to kneel on the ground and sing conquest...

#Funny Moment# #年度搞笑名场面 #