1) A flight attendant I know is 26 years old and has been divorced twice. Curious, I asked her, "You're so pretty and in such good shape, why do you always get divorced?" She sighed

1) A flight attendant I know is 26 years old and has been divorced twice. Curious, I asked her, "You're so pretty and in such good shape, why do you always get divorced?" She sighed and replied, "Because of domestic violence." After listening to it, I said very sympathetically: "You are really unlucky, how can you always encounter this kind of scum." The flight attendant said with some embarrassment: "I am angry and start to beat people." ”

2, in order to save, I began to bargain with the big moms, one day to buy vegetables, saw a big mom bargaining very strongly, and then I have been following behind her ass. Today, as usual, I followed the big mother, and as a result, the goddess rushed out of the corner, tugged at my collar, and punched me directly. The goddess yelled at me: Now don't chase me, start chasing my mother, something is rushing to the old woman! "Just followed the mix, did not look at the face, this is embarrassing."

3. When a friend was taking a bath in the hot spring, he suddenly urinated urgently, so he buried his entire body in the water to solve the problem. Who knew that a gush of red liquid rose in the water, "Frightened, think I have pee blood?" The security guard quickly dragged him out of the water and fined him 800 yuan, it turned out that the merchant had put the drug in the water, and the drug changed color when it met with urine."

4, the father-in-law especially likes to eat fat intestines, the mother-in-law will not do it so to steal the teacher in the hotel. As a result, the mother-in-law only studied for one day, and she shouted that she would never eat again! Me: What's wrong? My mother-in-law said: That day the chef asked me to wash the large intestine, and I learned that the original large intestine was filled with poop, and I actually ate it for more than ten years!

5, it has been 8:30 in the morning, the food stall downstairs has not come out, give me a hurry to no way, call the boss: Hey, what time is it, not out of the stall, I have been waiting for you for a long time, want to eat your snacks! The boss was afraid and said: Don't call me boss! I've been setting up a stall here for two years, and since you came to my stall three months ago, I've felt like a working boy with a formal job and a boss!

6, my girlfriend has recently been very interested in my chrysanthemums, from time to time to take advantage of my lack of attention to fiddle with my chrysanthemums, so that I can't sleep steadily. This morning I got up as soon as I was bone-headed, and quickly ran to the window sill to check on my chrysanthemums, fortunately, there was a false alarm, and there was no less pot.

7. On the weekend, I watched the TV series "Female Shizi" at home, and I felt very warm when I saw the male protagonist breading the female protagonist from behind, so I also wanted to experience this feeling. I thought of a way to deliberately argue with my girlfriend, who was angry and left. I chased after her from behind and didn't let go of her as she struggled. Then she would surely forgive me and then turn around and kiss me. While I was fantasizing, two security guards pushed me down!

8. On the day of the results, I asked my son, "How are the results of this test?" My son, who was in elementary school, said to me with a proud face: "I scored 100 points." I said doubtfully, "I don't believe it, bring me the scroll to see." The son handed the roll over, and I was particularly angry when I saw it: "You dare to lie to me, obviously it is 50 points, why do you say it is 100 points?" He smiled and said, "Mom, this is not called a lie!!!! Mathematically, this is called rounding. ”

9. The brother borrowed 500,000 yuan from the rich woman and opened a supper stall in front of the bank. Recently, the business has plummeted, I went to take care of the business, and my brother fried me a piece of pho. At this time, the nephew who was in elementary school came over, pointed to the powder and said: 1 piece of pho, 2 pieces of lean meat, sell 12 pieces, earn 9 pieces! After that, the nephew ran to the next table and said: Four leather eggs for 4 yuan, sell 20, earn 16 yuan! I finally understood why my brother's business had plummeted!

10. The little uncle spent all his savings when he got married, and then the husband proposed to give the father-in-law 1,000 yuan for living expenses and 500 yuan for a family in the next month. Today, the father-in-law came to the house to collect living expenses, and the husband was not happy that he gave all his savings to the little uncle, so he did not give him money. I said to my father-in-law, "They all blame me for spending a lot of money in the past few months, and I have spent all the money, and next month I will definitely make up for the living expenses!" Listening to me say this, the father-in-law was happy: "Actually, it doesn't matter if you don't give it for a month, it's okay if you don't give it for a year, the key is to see the attitude!" Me: "..."

11, Xiao Wang just took out his driver's license, bought a car and happily took us for a ride, along the way we talked and laughed, the scene was once harmonious. After a Starbucks stop to get coffee, the manager got out of the car and saw a row of small letters written on the P-stock of the sedan. He was very curious, quickly walked closer to look at the reading: "Why is it so close, does the fart smell so good?" "Little King...

#Funny Moment# #年度搞笑名场面 #