On Valentine's Day, the girl was alone at home. At 11 p.m., the festival is about to pass, the girl is depressed, the doorbell rings, she opens the door, only to see her long-desired neighbor big brother

On Valentine's Day, the girl was alone at home. At 11 o'clock in the evening, the festival is about to pass, the girl is depressed, the doorbell rings, she opens the door, only to see her long-desired neighbor big brother standing in the doorway, still holding a large bouquet of roses! The neighbor's big brother said softly, "This one is for you!" The girl took the flower in confusion, too excited to speak, and tears welled up in her eyes. The neighbor's eldest brother smiled kindly, and then said: "I am very unlucky today, such a large number of flowers have not been sold, cheap you, little devil..."

2 cousins carried their cousins behind their backs and borrowed 5,000 yuan from their ex-girlfriends for surgery. The cousin was very angry when she found out, and she packed up her things and ran away from home. As soon as I arrived at the door with the suitcase, I saw my cousin blocking there. The cousin was overjoyed in her heart, but said with a straight face: "Go aside, I won't go with you!" The cousin shook his head with his mouth, and the cousin's heart blossomed, but he still said coldly: "You have no right to interfere with my freedom, and what are you doing to stop me from being angry like this?" My cousin shouted with courage, "You go, but you have to leave me the keyboard in your bag!" ”

3 I overheard a conversation between a big brother and my son on the construction site: Why is our school uniform so similar to your work clothes? Dad: Because I can come to work directly because I don't study well, I don't have to buy clothes anymore...

4 In the two villages along the river, the village chief in Hedong led the people to often strengthen their own river embankment; the village chief in Hexi embezzled funds to eat and drink. The flood came to Hexi to break the embankment, so the village chief led the people to fight against the flood and rescue in the front line, the TV station interviewed every day, the superior pulled out funds to relieve the disaster, and the hexi village chief was also promoted to the third level because of the meritorious officer of the rescue. And the river embankment is firmly in the east of the river, there is nothing to do, the village chief is still the village chief.

5 Because I have a better appetite, I eat more every meal, but in fact, it is a little more than the average person, but this is the shocking amount of food in my son's eyes. One night, the son was in Hoho's own shoelaces, tying while muttering there. I listened carefully to the side, only to see him saying: pull a big saw icon, pull a big saw, cut down a big tree, make a fortune. Amused me, this is the 'bear haunting' to see too much, ask him why he wants to make a fortune? He replied with a serious face: Make a fortune to buy you food! You eat so much every day, I'm afraid I won't be able to feed you when the time comes!

6 Today the son broke a glass, was criticized by the daughter-in-law to go to the corner penalty station, at this time the daughter-in-law girlfriend just came to my home as a guest, saw the son in the penalty station, the daughter-in-law girlfriend joked: Your mother is so bad to you, let your father change your mother, I give you a new mother is good. The son said lightly: Then can you pick me up and take me to school every day, buy me snacks every day, and give me pocket money to spend? The daughter-in-law's girlfriend smiled and said: Of course. The son snorted and said: No wonder last time my mother said that you had a crush on my father, and now she wants to be my stepmother. Emma, is this what a three-year-old is saying?

7 Because of my mistakes, the company lost a lot, fortunately the boss just fired me. At minus 40 degrees, I was still riding a small electric donkey to find a job. At this time, a Maybach stopped in front of me, and I was wondering about my middle and high school classmates and walked down. Alas, I think that I still gave him the idea to open a company, even his wife was introduced by me, now look at others and then look at themselves. At that time, I was eager to drill into the cracks in the ground, and I ran away after two sentences, and then I summed up an experience: you must wear a helmet when riding a bicycle!

8 Mother-in-law secretly registered her on the lily network icon in order to marry the elderly leftover girl sister-in-law as soon as possible. On that day, the sister-in-law was forced to go on a blind date, and after meeting, she found that the man was well dressed and looked good. She was very realistic and directly asked: "Do you have a house and a car?" The man said directly: "Hangzhou three ring road three rooms and two halls a set, BMW Q7, the deposit has 8 figures, the annual salary is 6 figures, the parents are about to retire, there is a high pension." The sister-in-law smiled and said, "I am very satisfied." The man said lightly: "What is the use of your satisfaction, I just come to show off my wealth." ”

9 Have you ever met a sand sculpture boyfriend? My boyfriend is like that. Today I came to my great aunt, he picked me up from work, and suddenly my stomach hurt, so I said to him: You buy me a wrapper, I will go to the toilet first. Then I squatted in the toilet for a quarter of an hour, and he didn't call, and I called him: Did you go to the paper mill to buy wrapped paper? The boyfriend said very aggrievedly: I bought the bun early, I waited outside the women's restroom for ten minutes, you did not come out, I was not good to send it in, so that the buns were cold!

10 A classmate is very handsome, and then a sister comes to talk, but the classmates themselves are more disgusted with the sister (suspecting that it is a variety of abnormal orientations), so they are unreasonable. The girl was angry, at that time it was in the corridor, there were more students, so the girl roared in a brain-dead voice: The old lady in the grooves looked at you and you still put on your face? Is this the highlight? Absolutely not, the highlight is that my classmate came to a sentence. I have a boyfriend... Boyfriend up... Friends... Friends... finish...... At that time, my classmate was completely isolated, and I said that it was definitely not the smile I said

11 Two days ago to buy a remote control plane for the bear child, today the concession to let him play by himself, the husband is cooking, I will lie on the bed to watch the paragraph, the picture is so warm and harmonious. If it weren't for the bear child parking the plane on my chest and the laughter of the second husband, today would have been a good day. Needless to say, grab one, let me move my muscles first... #Funny Paragraph # #搞笑 #