1. Travel with your husband to stay in a hotel, it is too dark, a bottle of mineral water actually costs 50 yuan! Husband: "Let's drink this 50 yuan bottle of mineral water and drink hard!" Me: "You're crazy

1. Travel with your husband to stay in a hotel, it is too dark, a bottle of mineral water actually costs 50 yuan! Husband: "Let's drink this 50 yuan bottle of mineral water and drink hard!" Me: "Are you crazy?" Supermarket outside is only a dollar a bottle! Before I could finish speaking, my husband snapped open four bottles and said proudly: "I'll go out for a while, you open up and drink, so temperamental!" "In less than ten minutes, my husband came back with a bag of mineral water. While making up for the drink, he said excitedly: "50 mineral water is delicious, right?" Let's drink it for 50 and leave a piece of it! "The hotel manager knew and called out to the insider!

2. Go back to your hometown with your boyfriend, at the mouth of the village, the boyfriend is urinating urgently, it is convenient to go to the grove, I am waiting on the side of the road, there is a grandfather coming, the uncle asked me: "Girl, who are you looking for in our village?" Me: "Uncle, I'll go to Li Xiaodong's house!" Just then, my boyfriend came out and I said to him, "Did this uncle say anything about your village?" Boyfriend: "This grandson who does not know, my neighbor" I tugged on the boyfriend's clothes to make him speak more politely, and the uncle next to him saw the boyfriend and greeted him happily: "Second grandfather, you are back?" I, depend, the rural generations are really chaotic...

3. The chairman's son is suffering from infertility and no woman wants to marry him. In order to marry into the rich, I gritted my teeth and married the son of the chairman. I was playing with my phone that day and my husband was lying on the other side watching TV. After playing for a while, I directly handed my phone to my husband and said, "Look at our shopping cart." The husband did not return the head and said, "Don't look!" I was stunned for a moment, smiled slightly, withdrew my mobile phone, and said: "Considering that as a partner who still needs long-term cooperation and living together for decades, I have given you full right to know, but this is what you have given up!" My husband finally turned back and gave me a blank look: "Cut! It's as if the right to know can compete with the right to dominate! ”

4. Today, I drove my wife back to my mother's house with my wife, and I was sitting on the balcony drinking tea with my husband. My wife called out to me in the kitchen: You hurry up and go to the market to buy more food, and we will stay for a few days and then go back. I stood up immediately, and the old man looked at me and said, you sit. Turning his head and shouting loudly: What's the name, the son-in-law is chatting with me, and your mother is going with you! Turning back to me and smiling: My daughter, you can't be too accustomed, besides, for women, you have to take care of a little more... When I went to the toilet in the middle of the night, I saw the old man in the living room making tea and meditating.....

5. After the cousin crossed the zebra crossing and was injured by a Porsche Cayenne, the owner lost more than 6 million. I got this money and bought a new house in Tomson Yipin. Last night, when the little nephew came home from school, his cousin asked him: Listen to your classmates, today you were punished by the teacher? The little nephew nodded, and the cousin: Why? Little nephew: The teacher asked me what I had dreams, and I didn't answer them. The cousin said somewhat angrily: You stupid, you will not be able to do this? Little nephew: Where am I stupid, the teacher has been croaking in class today, and I have not slept well, where is the dream?

6. My cousin graduated from Sichuan Normal College and worked as a mathematics teacher in a primary school. That time he was lecturing on the stage, the students below could not sit still, the communication was very loud, and the cousin shouted several times without effect. At this moment, the squad leader suddenly shot up and said: What is noisy, I am not conscious at all. The classmates were stunned at that time, and the cousin immediately said: This classmate is right, you are too unconscious. Class Leader: That is, it is about to leave class, can you teachers hear the bell?

7. It is said that the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is not good, the key depends on how you operate! Yesterday I helped my mother buy rice, I carried it to the 5th floor and a half, and then handed it to my daughter-in-law!

My daughter-in-law struggled to pull her to the sixth floor, and when my mother opened the door, she burst into tears.

Entering the door was to twist her a hot towel again, and to cut the fruit again, and tossed me aside and counted!

I just lit a cigarette and smiled at the side!

8. I quarreled with my husband at dinner, I pretended to be angry and left, sitting by the flower bed at the mouth of the alley, waiting for him to chase me... After a long time, a figure appeared in the alley, I looked down and pretended to ignore him, and then heard a childish voice: Mom, why don't you go home?

Looking up, it was the son: What about your father?

Son: My dad went to bed early! Sleep!!

I'll go, white acting!!!!!

9. On weekend breaks, I went to my sister's house for dinner. I asked my little nephew, "Then who are the famous wise women of ancient times?" My son first rushed to answer: "Meng Mother." The younger daughter of the second sister's family replied, "Mother Ou and mother-in-law." The eldest sister's son thought about it for half a day, did not say it, and the eldest sister who washed vegetables in the kitchen could not hang on to her face. Ran to the living room and grabbed his son's ear and said, "Where do you usually read books?" The Queen Mother and the Thunder Mother, aren't they all? ”

10. After the third uncle retired, he worked part-time in a construction site, but yesterday the third uncle was injured, his hand was broken, and he is now hospitalized. I went to visit early this morning and asked him how he was so careless. The third uncle explained: The two of them moved a heavy object together, said a good slogan and threw it together, counted to one or two, and the grandson let go of his hand and smashed my hand down. I was just confused and asked him why he didn't let go? Then the third uncle replied: No, I haven't counted three yet.

11. The brother-in-law went hiking in Sanya and came back with a flight attendant!! The day after he got married, he couldn't keep his mouth shut, and I asked curiously why. Brother-in-law: "My wife's ex-boyfriends are too generous, so I make a lot of money." I wondered, "What do you mean?" Brother-in-law: "My wife's ex-boyfriends came to drink celebratory wine, one red envelope for each person, 3,000 red envelopes for one person, a total of more than 100,000 yuan, more than all the relatives in my family gave." Me: "Ah!! ..... Congratulations congratulations..."