1. The female colleague has just divorced, is in a bad mood, and asks me to go for a drink. Colleagues a game, I went, she drank a little raw, picked up a bottle and blew, completely wanted to get myself drunk, I was secretly vigilant, just divorced like this. Mo was not looking for a receiver, so I quickly asked, "I'm not pregnant!" She said no. I was relieved. At ten o'clock in the evening, she was already half drunk and said, "Brother, I have nothing now, you take me in." "I have some hesitation, she is 30 years old beautiful, the figure is good, people love, it is said that the divorce is because of spending money and spending a lot of money, I am hesitating, when I interact with her, then the 678 yuan in my pocket, is not it impossible to keep? What to do?
2. The boyfriend who has been in love with me for 6 years today proposed to break up with me, and he was particularly desperate and did not give me the opportunity to refuse at all. I was particularly sad and didn't understand why so many years of feelings had become like this. So I went to his house and asked him why he was so desperate. Only then did he know that he was actually in love with someone else! Scumbag! I fell in love with anyone else without breaking up with him, how could he do this to me!
3. Yesterday my crush goddess borrowed me five thousand yuan to buy a LV bag, saying that it would be repaid to me in two days, and I immediately borrowed the mesh bag and transferred it to her. Now a month has passed, and the goddess has come to me: "I'm sorry, I don't have the money to pay you back." Me: "It's okay, I don't want the money, I'll take you to a place after work." Then I took the goddess to a restaurant, and the stewardess said, "What are you doing here, inviting me to dinner?" Me: "No, this is my dad's restaurant, you go in and wash the dishes for me." "Goddess...
4. At dinner, the wife who has never liked her husband's drinking actually opened a bottle of Maotai for the first time. While pouring wine, he said coquettishly: "You have worked hard during this time, drink some good wine." The husband was really a little flattered at once, and smiled: "It is good to know, and in the future, you must also know that I am good and good to me." The wife smiled and said, "Rest assured, I will!" "Drinking beautifully, a little upside down, my wife's mobile phone suddenly rang." The wife opened it to see that it was a text message: three missing one, hurry up! The wife looked at her husband and replied with a message: Wait, he is almost drunk!
5. My son was watching "The Adventures of Pegasus of Pleasant Goat and Gray Wolf", and I teased him: Baby, will you sing little stars? My son ignored me, and I said, "Or I'll sing it to you." My son looked at me, reached out two fingers and said: I only say two words, you are bored. I laughed and said, "This is obviously 4 words, you don't know how to count." The son turned his head and looked at my daughter-in-law: Mom, take care of your husband!
6. The old lady was picked up on the bus for 10,000 yuan, and although she was cold and hungry, she did not hesitate to give the money to the driver. The driver took the money, and the old lady asked embarrassedly: I haven't eaten yet, can I borrow one dollar to buy two steamed buns to eat? The driver was shocked and took out the money in his pocket and stuffed it into the old lady's hand. The old lady insisted on only one dollar, looking at the old lady's distant back, the driver and the cashier divided the money with tears.
7. It was almost time to leave school, and the class teacher called the class downgrade to the office. Then he took out a painkiller and said, "Eat it quickly." Xue Scum said incomprehensibly: "I don't have pain in my body, why should I take painkillers?" Teacher: "It will hurt later, I have already told your father the news that you have counted down to the last brother in the exam!" ”?
8. Go on a blind date, the other party is a female doctor, very good figure, good looks, I fell in love with her at first sight, very satisfied. Wanting to develop further with her, if she can be my wife, is the greatest blessing I have cultivated in my previous life. But she has a flaw, which is that she is too thin. I asked her how much she weighed and she said it was 88 pounds. I said you're too skinny to eat more. You are so thin, it will be difficult to have children in the future. She lowered her head shyly. He said with disgust, on the first day of meeting you said about having a child, it is not shameful! I smiled and said, what's so shameful? Aren't we dating just to get married? Don't you want children after marriage? By the way, how much dowry money would you need if you were to marry me? She looked at me with affection and said, I don't want much dowry money, I weigh 10,000 yuan a pound. A total of 88 pounds, even if you are 880,000 good. I was silent for a moment, then stood up and said to her, you're too fat, we don't fit, goodbye. #Funny Strip#"
#Funny##Funny paragraph# #今日笑料 #
![One day, the old man who was doing the project rang his mobile phone, and when he saw that it was an old classmate who was a civil servant, he answered it immediately. On the other end of the phone: Hey, old classmate, I found you a project, do you want to do it? business[fig]](data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAP///wAAACwAAAAAAQABAAACAkQBADs=)