The half-old Xu Niang's mother-in-law was particularly happy after she was pregnant with her second child. But the father-in-law, who had been mate for many years, was particularly angry and immediately filed for divorce from his mother-in-law. The mother-in-law agreed, and then said: I don't want anything

The half-old Xu Niang's mother-in-law was particularly happy after she was pregnant with her second child. But the father-in-law, who had been mate for many years, was particularly angry and immediately filed for divorce from his mother-in-law. The mother-in-law agreed, and then said: I don't want anything, just my daughter. The father-in-law said: No, this child is mine. The mother-in-law said: I gave birth to the child. Father-in-law said: You take the bank card to the cash machine to withdraw money, do you dare to say that the money is the cash machine? The mother-in-law said: You go to the seeds to buy seeds, plant them in your own land, and produce grain, can you say that the grain is the seed company?

2, buddy: I like the goddess, but dare not confess, what to do? Me: Drink a few buckets of Sanlu to try. Dude: What's the point? Me: If you get gallstones after drinking, won't you be bold? Dude: What if I only get kidney stones? Me: Hey hey, then you will be desperate, people are desperate, there is nothing to be afraid of. nabs:...

3, I grew up, the fraud I encountered in society, and the pain, loneliness, indifference, and hardship I experienced growing up alone in this city, I never told them. All my parents could do was remind me to go out at night cold and add a coat, cross the street to pull me and my mother, and peel a plate of garlic for me at home. There are still roads that I still have to walk alone. But what they brought to me was the tenderness and motivation of someone to ask me about the warmth of porridge. And the happiness I can give them is that I still need them, very, very much, so you have to be old and slow.

4, the sister-in-law lost weight because of hunger strike, and now the stomach is not very good, and she does not eat on time every day. This can make my boyfriend in a different place anxious, and he will call every day to ask if I have dinner. As long as the sister-in-law said no, she would be scolded by him. Later, in order not to let him worry, the sister-in-law made up a luxurious dinner every day to deceive him. After a week in a row, my boyfriend suddenly asked me worriedly one day: To tell you the truth, have you found another person who is richer than me?

5, our boss just got married a week ago because of a stroke died, leaving a thirty-year-old boss lady. The boss lady looks very poor, charming, many people in the company have started her idea, as long as they get the heart of the boss lady, it is equivalent to the whole company in their hands, people have both money, and they can reach the peak of life at once.

6, "I just want to find someone to live with, I like him, he likes me, no secrets, no cheating, no unhappiness, inappropriate personality can be run-in, different habits can be adapted, as long as there is a determination to go on." 」 ”

7, A Xing traveled for a week, came back without entering the house, first inquired to the apartment administrator: "During my business trip, has anyone ever come to my wife, especially a strange man?" Administrator: "No, only one who delivered the newspaper came the day before yesterday." Ah Xing breathed a sigh of relief: "It seems that I am worried about it." The administrator said, "But he hasn't come down yet!" Ah Xing: "?!! ”

8, the northeast people returned from a business trip, afraid that the wife red apricot out of the wall, immediately ask the apartment administrator for news. "Has anyone ever come to my wife?" For example, a man you don't know, or someone else?" No, only one milk seller had been here the day before yesterday. "Well, then I'll be relieved." The Northeasterners breathed a sigh of relief. "But he hasn't come down yet!" The administrator said...

9, Lao Zhou's girlfriend gave birth, the midwife doctor is an acquaintance of old Liu, old Liu: "There is a good news, a bad news, which one do you listen to first?" Old Zhou: "Let's break it first." Doctor: "The child has only one left hand." Old Zhou was shocked, and did not return to God for half a day, asking: "What about the good news?" Old Liu: "There is only one right hand." "Old Zhou is humming and sharpening the knife, and no one can persuade him to use...

10. Whenever I didn't even understand the problem in math class, the teacher and the bully communicated wildly between the two people, and then successfully solved it in a variety of ways, I felt as if I had two dogs in my house. Although they were listening to each other, they had no idea what they were talking about, and they felt very powerful.

1 there is no living expenses, call dad, dad calmly said: "The money has been called for you." Twenty thousand! "I put down the phone and was very excited. Oh dear! Go to the cash machine to check, the balance is only 500, immediately call the father and ask: "No, why is there only 500 on the card?" Dad said: "500 is not much, save some flowers, nothing to hang ah." Nine tubes! ”

12, no education, no technology, for many years has been doing manual work, there have been stalls, opened a small shop, but because there is no experience, maybe I am not that kind of craftsman, and finally all lost, so now I can only work honestly.

13, early in the morning, the husband went out and found that he did not bring the car keys, and he was too lazy to go upstairs to get it, and when he saw his wife drying clothes on the balcony, he shouted: "Key, car key." "The distance was too far for the wife to hear clearly. Her husband had to make a spinning gesture toward her. The wife suddenly realized, nodded repeatedly, and went into the house to find a screwdriver and threw it down for him.

14, there is a very miserly couple, one day, two people on the street shopping, the husband said to his wife: "I want to go to the toilet for convenience." The wife said solemnly: "Fat water does not flow into the fields of outsiders!" The husband had to let go of a few farts, seeing that the wife was not pleased, busy explaining: "I will put a few farts first to solve the emergency!" ”