It is never the "personality incompatibility" that kills marriage. When it comes to reasons for divorce and breakup, I think "personality incompatibility" may come first. "He was too strong to let me go." “

It is never the "personality incompatibility" that kills marriage.

When it comes to reasons for divorce and breakup, I think "personality incompatibility" may come first.

"He was too strong to let me go."

"He's an otaku, and I'm a guy who dies if he doesn't go out."

"She's asking for too much, she's too dependent on people, and I can't stand being so clingy."

These same reasons sound confusing, but they have to accept reality. But in the many intimate relationship cases, I found a phenomenon worth pondering: many couples, before marriage, admired each other, but after marriage began to blame each other, and appreciation and accusation are the same personality characteristics.

Just like Xiaoyu, before she and her husband got married, they felt that their personalities were very complementary. The man's personality is free, easy to meet, and knows how to enjoy life, while Xiaoyu, as the eldest daughter in the family, carries huge pressure from her shoulders and is accustomed to carrying things by herself. So when she met this husband who was completely different from her own personality, she was quickly attracted to her and felt that there was another way to live in life.

But after marriage, she gradually began to feel irritable, the family's big things and small things husband always did not care, have to be alone, in her view is completely irresponsible performance. So she began to complain, hoping that the other party would change, the two began to argue, and the husband gradually did not want to go home, and finally reached the point of separation.

In fact, there are more than one side of a person's personality, which is often expressed at different stages, and your feelings will be different. Appearing when you think it is appropriate, you will feel that it is personality, even a good quality; appearing when you think it is inappropriate, it becomes his defect.

Just like Xiao Yu, in fact, from beginning to end, the personality of the other party has not changed. You enjoy the advantages of this personality, you have to bear the side of this personality defect, which is two sides of the same coin, and it is impossible to choose only one.

Of course, in a long-term marriage, each other's appropriate submission and compromise is to achieve a win-win situation for the two people's feelings, which is not something that one party can blindly accept.

What I want to say is that after two people live together, when the two sides are familiar to a certain extent, they will find that there are many differences between each other, and the quarrel between the two at this stage is not a personality disagreement, but the inevitable result of the intimate relationship entering a special stage.

At this time, do not just stare at letting the other party change, but be patient to solve the problem, after all, there is no perfect 100% fit in this world, two people together are through a certain friction and compromise and become adapted to each other, to achieve a win-win situation.