1, why is the crush so good, because the crush will never lose love. I was happy many days when you laughed, and I remembered a word of yours for many years. "Even if it's an empty joy, I like you, it's irrelevant

1, why is the crush so good, because the crush will never lose love. I was happy many days when you laughed, and I remembered a word of yours for many years. "Even if it's an empty joy, I like you, it has nothing to do with the wind and moon." I wish you well, even if later you have nothing to do with me. I miss you, but won't go looking for you, affectionately without entanglement.

2, we have a female colleague in the office, not married and pregnant, so I went to the leader to resign. On this day, I washed my feet with the boss, and I asked the boss: So Xiaoli is pregnant for a few months? Boss: Only a month? I said dismissively: Only a month as for resigning? The boss said: Hey, her reason is to sit across from you every day, see you every day, and then the child will be born ugly.

3, it was the day when my wife sent me pocket money at the beginning of the month, and I was excitedly planning to buy a LOL skin for 288 yuan. I didn't expect my wife to deduct my pocket money again, saying that she would give me 600 per month, and this month she would buy clothes and deduct 500 yuan from me! I was angry and asked him on the spot: "Have you ever considered my feelings about this little bit of money?" "She said: Of course I have considered it, but I am afraid that you will not adapt to deducting it for a month, so I will deduct it every month in the future." Well, what I said actually made me powerless to refute...

4, once a new file opened in front of me, I did not save well, wait until the power outage to regret it, your electric gate pulled down, no longer hesitate! If God could give me another chance, I would say three words to myself: "I want to save!" "If I had to add a deadline to the power supply, I would like it to be: ten thousand years!"

5. The lawyer's son came home late, and the neighbor asked him: "If you come home late, will you be beaten by your father?" "No, my dad is a lawyer, and if he were to beat me, my mother would apply for a suspended sentence and appeal to my grandmother to acquittal."

6, whenever my girlfriend asks me, I will make some small requests. For example, yesterday, girlfriend: "Can you borrow your advantage of Aquaman to help me find a boyfriend?" Me: "Call Daddy, buy me some fruit." After the girlfriend listened, she went out to help me buy fruit, and when she came back, she respectfully handed it to me and said, "Daddy, please use it slowly." So I found a handsome guy on the V letter to push her, after a while, I was thirsty and wanted her to help pour a cup of water, she patronized and talked to the handsome guy, impatiently said to me: "Pour yourself!" ”

7. Do you have a soft sleeper ticket? "No" "What about hard sleeper tickets?" "No" "What about the station ticket?" "No" "No tickets?" Why are tickets so tight? "I warn you not to bother me anymore, this is a movie theater, if you want to buy a train ticket, please go to the train station to buy it!"

8. After dinner, the nephew showed the English test paper for the day's test to the second brother. The sister-in-law directly grabbed it, and after seeing 2 points, she raised her hand to beat her nephew. The nephew begged: Mom, can you hit me again tomorrow? The sister-in-law stopped and asked: Why do you want to fight tomorrow? The nephew said: Tomorrow the math results will come out, and when the time comes, you will play together, afraid that you will be tired!

9, today the company arranged me to work overtime, when the night shift arrived home, I saw my wife standing in the corridor in pajamas to greet me, I felt warm in my heart, went forward to hug her and said painfully: "Baby, are you still waiting for me so late?" The wife snorted and said, "Wait a fart, the old lady came out to take out the garbage, and accidentally locked herself outside... ”

10, the husband recently bought a Rolls-Royce to sell pork, and came back too tired at night. So he fell asleep very early, and in the middle of the night he suddenly held me. Then the mouth muttered: It's okay, it's okay, you're still here! I was instantly moved, even if he still has a conscience! Then I heard him say, "All said, this pig, I don't sell!"

11, the goddess's boyfriend is a soft rice eater, dislike her poor, just like a rich woman. The goddess was thrown in a bad mood and asked me to accompany her to borrow wine to pour sorrow. Coming to the bar, she had already bought a dozen beers waiting for me. She drank one can after another, and after a while she was drunk, saying that she was upset and did not want to go home. So I took her to the hotel, and she paid for it. Later we sat shoulder to shoulder on the edge of the bed, and she rested her head on my shoulder and told me a joke. I really shouldn't have laughed at the time, I woke up as soon as I laughed...

12, the other day saw my colleague standing there alone, I had a low hand, so I went up and patted him on the back. I didn't expect him to thin out... Pulled on the pants... Now the whole company is spreading the word that I've beaten my colleagues out of.

13, I have a girlfriend, has not been a boyfriend. She secretly told me she was infertile and didn't want to hurt anyone else. I fell out of love last Christmas, she got drunk with me and we stayed at the guesthouse for one night. Now, when I look at my son, who is almost three months old, I can't help but say to him: Your mother is a liar!

14, yesterday, I secretly went to my girlfriend's house, walked to her door, ready to give my girlfriend a special surprise, only to be chased half a street by her dog, and gave me a bite. Now, I get the rabies vaccine in the hospital, and when we get married, I'll get the dog out, and I just got the injection when I got a call from my girlfriend. She said I was scared of her dog and was going to break up with me!