Don't regret what you missed, the people and things you missed, others have the opportunity to meet, others missed, you have the opportunity to have, everyone will miss, everyone has missed, really

Don't regret what you missed, the people and things you missed, others have the opportunity to meet, others missed, you have the opportunity to have, everyone will miss, everyone has missed, truly belongs to you, never miss.

2, knowing the world and not being sophisticated is the kindest maturity. Life is like water, life is like tea. Some people will say that you are good, and some people will say that you are not good, but as long as we are people and do things with a clear conscience, we do not have to cling to the judgment of others. When someone uses disrespectful words to you, please do not care, let alone get upset about them, because these words do not change the facts, but may disturb your heart. If the mind is in chaos, everything is in chaos.

3, the company's toilet was originally toilet paper, but just after I hurried to the toilet, I found that this squat position actually had no paper... Searching all over the body without bringing it, I suddenly thought that there was paper in the squatting position next door, so I opened the door with my bare ass and ran to the squatting position next door to get the paper. Before my hand reached out and touched the door of the crouching position next door, the door opened on its own, and my colleague saw me squatting in front of him with my bare ass, and I was so frightened that I grabbed the road with my pants and fled...

4. During the blind date, the girl asked, "What business do you do?" How much can I earn per month? I laughed and said, "I don't do business, I work in a company with a monthly salary of eight thousand... Girl: "Eight thousand salary for a single dog can still live provincially, but what if you want to raise me after marriage?" I was stunned: "I didn't think to raise you." ”

5, the dormitory brothers have been very happy recently. My girlfriend, who had been dating since freshman year, finally agreed to go out with him and open a room near graduation. When I got back to my bedroom on Sunday night, I yelled as soon as I walked in the door: Lao Tzu is finally a man, and my girlfriend said that my one is the biggest. Hahaha... Ha ha...... Ha...... Classmate, do you care about the high realm or lack of heart and eyes?

6, that day I was in the dormitory listening to the radio, heard a very small girl to her mother to order a song, she said that her mother is very hard, Can not rest on Sundays, to buy a lot of exercises in the bookstore for her to do, so she wanted to order a song for her mother. When the host heard it, he was touched and said, "What a sensible child." What song would you like to order for your mom? The little girl said in a childish voice: "I want to order Xin Xiaoqi's "Why Women Are Difficult for Women."" ”

7, unmarried, relatives are anxious, ask me what kind of object I need? I thought about the conditions to open the high point directly, so that it would not bother me. I try to describe: regularly have a lot of income, have a job, have a lot of spare time, love me, and don't have complicated opposite-sex and social relationships. The relative nodded: "Well, there is a suitable introduction for you." The next day, relatives called me: there is a Taoist temple in Jiaoshan Mountain, which has a Zaigong, more than 40 years old, regularly opens the box to collect a lot of incense money, the daily work is quite fixed and leisurely, that is, the mountain is relatively simple, there is the idea of marrying a wife.

8, my brother opened an Internet café, invested more than 3 million, my sister-in-law charged my ID card with 880,000 Internet fees, I will also go to the internet when I have nothing to do, every time I go to swipe the card: "Ding! The card was successful, and the remaining 879,930 yuan was left. "The little girl at the cashier is full of little stars!" Until one day, I knew that the beautiful girl who collected the money was my sister-in-law's cousin!

9, Doudou is a child who listens to the teacher. One day in composition class, he wrote: Mom is a forty-five-year-old middle-aged woman! After handing it in, the teacher drew a circle next to "forty-five years old" and instructed: Redundant! The next day, Doudou handed in the changed essay, and the teacher found that the essay was changed to: My mother is a redundant middle-aged woman!

10, the ex-husband was delivering food late at night when he was hit by a rich second generation driving a Maserati drag racing car. The rich second generation felt guilty for harming me and was widowed, so he promised to take care of me for the rest of my life. After marriage, he learned that Fu Er Dai was still an amateur writer, so he often cleaned up the family when he read and wrote. On this day, after cleaning up, I said to Fu Er Dai, "Honey, you see, I have cleaned up all the rooms!" Fu Er Dai: "Got it." Me: "Don't you always read books, you praise me!" Fu Er Dai said impatiently, "Okay! You're so capable! I will definitely hire you as my nanny in the next life! Okay, right? ”

1 Men who don't love you will disappoint you again and again to the point of chills, while men who love you will have a very soft heart and will make your heart warm all the time. If you have not yet met a man who loves you, enjoy being single, the rest of your life is very long, don't settle down.

12, quarreled with his girlfriend... When I woke up in the morning and found that there was no longer her in the house, I didn't care too much, so I washed up and went downstairs to the restaurant for breakfast. When I went to the restaurant and ordered the bowl of noodles, when the noodles were served, Yu Guang saw my girlfriend and a strange man talking and laughing at the corner table, I glanced at it and continued to eat casually, and when I was halfway through the meal, my girlfriend came to me and said: Aren't you jealous? I was stunned for a moment, and she didn't say I really forgot! "The owner! Add some vinegar to me! ”

13, my second brother drank a little too much, did not know what to find on the side of the tooth, the range of action is very large, cruel and unsightly. I asked him, "What are you going to do with your teeth?" He said, "I didn't find the toothpick, I took the fish thorn." "But tonight the family didn't make fish!" The room was momentarily quiet, and then a click was heard, and the family's eyes converged to find the second aunt cutting her toenails on the side.

14. Zhuangzi and Keiko swim on the Haoliang. Zhuang Zi said: "The fish swim calmly, is it the pleasure of the fish?" Keiko said, "Zi non-fish, the joy of the fish?" Zhuang Zi said: "The son is not me, do you know that I do not know the joy of fish?" Hui zi said: "Zhizi Mo Ruo father."