1. Divorced female colleagues want to marry me. I think she has an 8-year-old daughter, but her daughter came up to me and said, "Uncle, my mom is beautiful. It's true. I said yes. She said:

1. Divorced female colleagues want to marry me. I think she has an 8-year-old daughter, but her daughter came up to me and said, "Uncle, my mom is beautiful. It's true. I said yes. She said, "Are you going to be me as a drag bottle?" I said yes. She suddenly sneered, "Uncle, you are so stupid." I am a girl, not a son. What are you worried about? Don't think of me as a child. I keep saying I'm a beauty. In 10 years, I'm going to be a beautiful woman, I'm married, and you're going to get a bride price. I said yes. She went on to say: "If you're looking for a first marriage, get married and have children now, raise the child until you're 8 years old, and spend 100,000 less, not including your 8 years of anger because of the child." Look, how happy you are to marry my mother, have children, and have a wife! "Without further ado, I was very touched to hear her say this. She's 8 years old, her mom is 35 and I'm 19. 10 years later, I'm 29 and she's 18. The age gap between us doesn't seem very big. Let me take good care of it. If you are together, there should be no sense of violation, right?

2. The female secretary of the company is thirty years old and has not found a husband. Once the boss introduced his nephew to the female secretary, and the female secretary was very satisfied with the boy, especially the two large villas in his family. Once at dinner in a Western restaurant, the female secretary asked him: Do you usually dress so cleanly? The boss's nephew said: Yes, what's wrong? The female secretary pondered for a moment and said: Then forget it, we are not suitable! The boss's nephew asked her: Why? The female secretary said: I am a lazy person, I don't want to wait for us to get married and have to wash your clothes every day.

3, there is a noodle restaurant downstairs, the owner is a young and beautiful girl, recently she recruited a big mother as a clerk, so often see her being reprimanded by the big mother. Once I saw her crying, I was ready to go to the hero to save the United States. In the past, I taught my aunt a harsh lesson, turned around and said to the landlady: She just sees that you are too kind and bullying, such a person can't get used to it, just drive her away, I'll help you. The landlady said angrily: She's my mom!?

4. When I was chasing our class flowers in the play, I also wrote a love letter of more than 30,000 words. Unexpectedly, she was a girl who hated the poor and loved the rich, and her character was not good, not only rejected me, but also spread love letters everywhere. I am ashamed not to say that the homeroom teacher school still troubles me every day. However, the whole school has since known that I was knowledgeable and talented. Later, I not only became the editor-in-chief of the school newspaper, but also received a love letter from the school flower.

5, recently bad luck, drinking water has been choked, go to the street to find the master Bu Yi Gua, do a calculation. I saw a vendor sitting on the side of the road, looking professional, put a bamboo bucket in front of him, with a bamboo stick in it, so he chose his stall and asked the vendor: Master, I have been unlucky lately, I don't do anything smoothly, help me see the palm. The vendor said: Fortune teller, you have to go to the temple, I am selling chopsticks...

6. When my brother went to the construction site with my cousin once, I was impressed by a brother who was very able to eat. He ate three bowls of rice at each meal, and after eating it, he sat on the sidelines, obviously feeling that he was still unfinished. Once, after eating, everyone was curious and asked him: How much can you eat? He laughed and said, "I had eaten enough when I was a child, and when I was ten years old, I ate twenty steamed buns at a time, and I usually didn't eat enough, as long as I wasn't hungry.

7, my wife had a cold, I immediately boiled a bowl of sugar pear ginger water. She said movingly: "You really hurt people, you should also pay attention to your body, you must not catch a cold." Me: "Rest assured, when I drink this bowl of sugar pear ginger water, you will not infect me." My wife actually had the strength to slap me: "You turn three times in place before you drink!" ”

8. When the nephew was 6 years old, the sister and brother-in-law had another second child. Because her sister's fetal position was not correct, she underwent a caesarean section and has been recuperating at home since she was discharged from the hospital. My nephew had no one to take care of, so I had to take him with me all day. That time, I took my nephew out of the mall to go home, but he confessed to the wrong electric car. Holding the key and preparing to open the lock, people were reluctant at the time: "If you want to steal, you can say it clearly, and say what you are wrong!" I was also not happy at the time: "If I want to steal, I will steal the car, who will steal your broken electric car?" As a result, the nephew whispered next to him: "The car is too difficult to steal!" ”

9. Drive my Porsche after work to pick up my first-grade son from school. I didn't want to go home and cook, so I bought a roast duck at the deli. In the car, my son suddenly asked me: "Dad, can you close the windows of the car?" I asked with concern, "Son, are you cold?" Son: "It's not cold, but you open the window and I can't smell the roast duck." ”

10. The brother-in-law is a businessman, and today he drove bentley Mulsanne to take his secretary to Quanjude for dinner. He took the menu and asked the waiter: Is there a peony shrimp? Waiter: Sorry, the little shop doesn't. He said: Even if you don't have this, what other shops will you open? As soon as the words stopped, he left with his secretary. The secretary asked: How can there be peony shrimp in this kind of restaurant? He replied: No, I looked at the menu, here a shredded potato is 200 yuan, let's go fast!

11, I picked up a mobile phone on the subway and looked at the model is Xiaomi Mi 10. A note is attached to the phone case: If one day my phone falls off, please return it, there is a heavy thank you, my number: 180... I think the owner must be in a hurry to call the other party. As a result, I was on the phone for two days in a row. I told my colleague about it, and he actually looked at me with the same stupid eyes!

#Funny Moment# #年度搞笑名场面 #