1, last night with a beautiful female colleague overtime, the office on the two of us, I look at the female colleague may be tired, take off the high heels to the side, may be the night sake, I see

1, last night and a beautiful female colleague overtime, the office on the two of us, I looked at the female colleague may be tired, take off the high heels to the side, may be the night sake, I looked at the female colleague a little heartwarming, stared at her for half a day. The female colleague also found that I was watching her, she was a little shy, embarrassed to say to me: "Brother Wang, can you help me make a cup of coffee?" "As soon as I saw the opportunity to approach her, I immediately agreed to her request, and when I walked over to her to take the water cup, I intentionally or unintentionally touched her hand, and she immediately avoided it like an open flame, I thought to myself, I was still very shy. I came back and handed her coffee, and seeing that she was tired, I didn't communicate with me much. After a while I walked up to her, deliberately tapped my hand on her shoulder, and asked her: Do you still need coffee? I drank a cup of iced coffee to no avail. At the same time, he suddenly smiled and handed me the water cup again. Later, when I went back, I said to my female colleague: This iced coffee is not refreshing! I've had two drinks and am still sleepy! Female colleague said: Your method is wrong! I thought to myself, deliberately asking: What is the method of drinking iced coffee? The female colleague took the iced coffee in my hand, poured a handful on my face, and said: This is the spirit!

2. After lunch at noon, I take a lunch break in the office, and I sit in my seat and play with my mobile phone. The male colleague next to him tested on the web page to test whether his wife would have an affair. The test results come out to be 100%! This product also laughed a lot! I said, "You're crazy, your wife will have an affair and laugh?" He said, "You know what, it means I can still marry a wife in my life!" ”

3. During the May Day holiday, Fang Zhan took Shi Tai and his son to Chongqing for a trip. They went to the most famous cliff swing, and in order to set a good example for his son, Fang Zhan patted his chest and said: I am not afraid! Not even the feet are soft! As soon as the words fell, A strong man was heard hanging in mid-air, shouting bitterly, stronger than a sand pig. When it was finally over, when Fang Zhan trembled and trembled, his son pushed him away with great disgust and said with a look of disgust: Dad wet his pants, shy and shy...

4. My family is also a well-off family in the village, and the family has a 90s van that has been put away for many years. On this day, my sister just got my driver's license and asked me to go to the market to buy things together, she drove, went to the traffic light in the city and waited for the red light, the green light was on, started to hit the direction, a force, the steering wheel fell off. After about ten seconds, the car behind me rang non-stop, and my sister calmly took the steering wheel and went down. All quieted down in an instant, cow..."

5, the sister-in-law accompanies the local tycoon boss to the hotel to talk about business, a customer deliberately difficult for the sister-in-law, let the sister-in-law eat meat he drinks! The sister-in-law eats a piece of plum vegetables and the customer drinks two or two liquors! If he loses, this business worth half a billion yuan will become, and the sister-in-law has no choice but to agree! When the sister-in-law finished eating two plates in one breath and then called the waiter to the third plate, the customer threw up on the ground! Then he raised his hands and conceded defeat, and said with a crying voice: Sister, how long have you not eaten meat?

6. Riding an OFO bicycle to write homework with classmates, riding too fast knocked an old lady away. The old lady got up and patted the dust on her body and said, "Child, your luck is not good, if you knock me to death, you will be able to inherit my inheritance of tens of millions." I was blindfolded and asked what did I mean? The old lady said: I wrote on the will who gave me the pension to send the end of the inheritance to whom, but the pension two words will not write I drew a circle.??

7. My daughter-in-law carried me on her back and used my Alipay to transfer 80,000 yuan to my brother-in-law to buy a car. After I knew it, I got angry and had a big fight with my daughter-in-law, and she was scolded by me and went back to her mother's house. That morning, the old man prepared the following noodles and found that the half plate of beef jerky prepared the night before was strangely missing. Looking for it, the daughter-in-law said weakly: "Dad, I got up in the middle of the night last night to go to the toilet, a little hungry, just finished the left piece and the right piece." The old man jumped to his feet in anger: "Silly girl, such a cold day, you are hot and hot to eat!" ”?

8. After the college entrance examination, I was admitted to the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, and my family was very happy. When I came home from winter vacation, there was an elder at home, and we went to the restaurant to eat together. When I got to a restaurant, the owner came up to say hello and asked me if I was going to school or work. The elder said, "This kid was admitted to Massachusetts this year." Then, humbly, I said that I didn't study well, and the words "all by luck" had not yet been uttered. The boss then said, "Hey, don't say that, it's a university!" ”

9. The father-in-law earned 5 million yuan in three months, so he went to the 4S store and planned to withdraw a Maserati president in full. When the formalities were done, the father-in-law felt bored and smoked a Chinese cigarette. The sales manager came over to my father-in-law and said, "Sir, smoking is not allowed here!" The father-in-law quickly stood up and took 2 steps forward and asked, "What about here?" Sales Manager: "Not either!" The father-in-law took a few more steps and asked, "Is this okay?" Sales Manager: "Still not!" The father-in-law walked to the door of the 4S store: "Can't it be here?" The sales manager was furious: "You're all done smoking, and you ask me what I'm doing!" ”"

10. Drive my Baojun 730 home and stop by the school to pick up my son from school. Because my wife has been traveling for business lately, I never want to go home and cook anymore, so I bought a roast duck at the deli. In the car, my son suddenly asked me: "Dad, do you have to close the car window?" I asked with concern, "Son, are you cold?" Son: "It's not cold, but you open the window, and I can't smell the roast duck." ”?

11, the little wife is particularly strong, only allowed to smoke a box of cigarettes every day, and the pocket money given is particularly small. I saw that Xiao Xiao was uncomfortable, so I secretly gave him a Chinese. As a result, the next day he was caught and punished to kneel. I asked him how he was found, and he said: Just remember to hide the cigarettes, I didn't expect my daughter-in-law to count 22 cigarette butts in the family, and she was stuffed! I wanted to kill and didn't move, but I didn't expect that I was impatient to fight, so I recruited...

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