1, today a Bentley retrograde, hit a motorcycle. The owner of the Bentley got out of the car with a cigarette and said impatiently: "Dude, you can't ride a broken motorcycle!" "Then dump

1, today a Bentley retrograde, hit a motorcycle. The owner of the Bentley got out of the car with a cigarette and said impatiently: "Dude, you can't ride a broken motorcycle!" Then he threw up his hands and gave the other party 2,000 yuan. Just as the Owner of the Bentley was about to get into the car, the owner of the motorcycle stopped him. The owner of the Bentley car looked different: "Well, give you 2,000 is not much, don't hurry to leave, want to blackmail me!" The motorcycle owner shook his head and said coldly, "Boy, hurry up and call your dad and say you hit an Ecosse?" ES1? Spirit motorcycle!

2. The rich man felt that the coal mining business was particularly profitable, so he bought a mine. On this day, a customer ordered 700,000 tons of coal. Regal called the employee: Is the coal shipped? Employee: Shipped, bad luck is coming! Rich: Shipped, why didn't I see you to pick up the goods? Employee: Boss, there is a problem with our coal, let the family deduct it! Regal: How could this be! Didn't you just say that coal was coming? Employee: You heard it wrong, I'm talking about unlucky mold!

3. A newly opened fish pond nearby, fishing fee of 300 yuan! The boss said to fish casually, and no one who could not catch it sent two ducks. I fished — I didn't catch one all day! The owner is also real, and each person really sends two ducks. Came back with two ducks each carrying! Everyone was happy and thought the boss was interesting. The fish pond janitor said: "The boss was originally a professional duck farmer, and there are no fish in this fish pond!" ”

4. I still remember that when I was just in the first year of junior high school, I was lined up next to a girl when we were sitting in line. I had this girl on my left and a boy on my right, and the three of us played well and played all the time. Later, rumors came out, saying that my relationship with my sister was unclear and suspected that we were in love early. At that time, when I was young, I didn't know what was going on, so I felt wronged and cried a lesson. The little boy felt sorry for me, so he changed places with me, and I have not been misunderstood since. Now that I am holding the wedding invitation of the same table as a man and a woman, I have a feeling of inexplicable in my heart...?

5. My roommates were playing games in the dormitory, and I went to the library alone to study. After a while, there was a particularly beautiful girl sitting next to me. We talked for a while, and feeling that she was very fond of me, we asked her how much she called. The girl said: "I will give you my QQ, convenient!" I said, "Good! After she left, I added her QQ and verified that the question was: "What is my phone number?" ”

6. The brother-in-law bought a BMW 525 in installments behind his father-in-law's back, and he had to pay back 7,000 yuan every month. In order to make money, the brother-in-law works in the factory during the day and goes to deliver takeaways at night to earn money. At 11 o'clock last night, the brother-in-law took an order. Remarks: It is not convenient for me to wear pajamas, and the takeaway will be placed at the door. The brother-in-law knew at a glance that it was a woman, and when he arrived at her door he deliberately knocked on the door. Then, suddenly rushing out, three big men pulled the brother-in-law in! A big man said to the brother-in-law: Finally cheated on one, hurry up and send you, we are now playing mahjong three missing one!

7, Dad is particularly economically minded, is a good businessman, and is famous in our place. In the year when my brother took the exam, other parents were waiting outside the gate, looking forward to the end of the exam. My father stood there for 10 minutes, smoked a cigarette and went home. In the afternoon, he prepared drinks, mineral water, popsicles and a series of things, and took them out at the exam hall door, and the business was called a fire!

8, today the company pays wages, I am 280 yuan in the card, I asked the cashier what happened, she said that the female boss confessed, I was angry rushed into the female boss's office, shouted: "Boss, what do you mean, I am a big man, you give me 280 yuan a week ..." The female boss glared at me and said: "It is a month's living expenses." I was even angrier: "That means 70 bucks a week... I'm a big man, what do you want so much money for? The landlady smiled and said, "You... I just like your breathy and domineering look, okay... Take the flowers, you are not easy, ten yuan a day and smoke, but also eat breakfast. "The moment I went out, I was in tears.... My monthly salary was originally 12K, and now it is planted in the hands of these ladies, and I will give ten yuan a day for living expenses.

9. When we were in high school, the grades in our class were the lowest in the whole school, and the principal gave us a new class teacher. On this day his brother came to give me a lesson one day, and I slept on my stomach on the table. When you wake up, you find the class counting: "40! ”“45！” “50！” I also excitedly echoed: "100! At this moment the air in the class was quiet, and the teacher was staring at me. Later, Cai knew that the class teacher asked everyone to guess his age. A high-achieving Washington student came to a blind date show, and finally there was a light. Gao Caisheng asked the female guests: What is the best criteria for choosing a mate. Female guest TUO mouthed: there is a car and a house, and both parents are dead. Gao Caisheng thought for two minutes, and then said lightly: the family property is over 100 million, the beautiful world is one brother, the virtuous and gentle surname, the father-in-law is terminally ill!

10, the old man is a big pig farmer in the village, once sold wild boar meat to earn more than 7 million, my father immediately wrapped a mountain head to raise wild boar after listening. Yesterday my dad went to the market to sell pork, and my mom and I drove the wild boar for a walk in the mountains. While the old mother was hurrying and counting, she suddenly exclaimed: "Hey, why is there one more?" Then the old mother counted again, patting her head, "Oh, Just Cai counted you too!" "I'm dripping with my mother!"

11. There was a rich second generation who was not sincere, and the female guest asked, "What do you do?" The second generation replied: "Driving." Suddenly, all the lights went out, and only one lamp remained. The second generation felt that the remaining one must be true love, and said, "Actually, I opened a Rolls Royce for my father." Later, they successfully held hands successfully, and before leaving, the female guest threw a wink at the host, and the host looked confused. Finally, after the props team checked, it was found that the lamp of the original female guest was broken.?

#Funny Moment# #年度搞笑名场面 #