1. A van was jammed with 14 people, and a passenger sitting in the back said unhappily: Master, you are overloaded, and you will be deducted a lot of points if you are caught! The driver turned back and sneered calmly: "Deduct points."

1. A van was jammed with 14 people, and a passenger sitting in the back said unhappily: Master, you are overloaded, and you will be deducted a lot of points if you are caught!

The driver turned back and sneered calmly: Deduct points, then you must have a driver's license!

Suddenly, the sound of countless inhaling cool air filled the carriage...

Another passenger asked: Do you dare to drive without a driver's license?

The driver said: It's okay, the wine is bold, I drank a pound and two pots at lunch, what is Lao Tzu afraid of!

Then another passenger asked: Why don't you take the driver's license?

Driver: more than two thousand degrees of myopia, right leg or prosthetic limb, how to test!

Another passenger asked: Are you not afraid of driving without a license to be sentenced?

Driver: Lao Tzu is mentally ill, why are you afraid of him?

The whole car is silent!

One of the passengers said hesitantly, Master, I want to get out of the car!

Driver: What car to get off! The brakes are broken! Steady, downhill.

Alas, I finally understand what a step is!

2. If you feel lonely at night and have no one to accompany you, then you can close the curtains, turn off the lights, turn on the computer, and watch a particularly scary ghost movie. After that, you will feel: there is someone in the kitchen! There was someone in the toilet! There are people under the bed, there are people everywhere, and there are even people standing in the doorway looking for you, the old man is so lively...

3. The head nurse of the obstetrics and gynecology department asked a young male doctor who had just come to the internship why he was interested in obstetrics and gynecology. Intern: "I have interned in many departments, I have had heart disease in internal medicine, itchy skin in dermatology, I am convinced that I have broken my bones in surgery, and I feel like I am losing my mind in psychiatry. Now that I'm in the obstetrics and gynecology department, I feel completely relaxed. ”

4. The mobile phone rings, a look is from an old classmate, immediately answered. The other end of the phone: "Hey, old classmate, we have an engineering project here, we can't do it, do you think about doing it?" I was immediately excited: "What project, is it good to collect money?" On the other end of the phone: "Good collection, on-site settlement." I was ecstatic: "What project?" I'll come over and talk to you right away. On the other end of the phone: "Build the Great Wall, three are missing one." ”

5. In junior high school, the same table is a smoker, and the geography teacher is an old man. I was in a geography class, and the same table smoker came, taking advantage of the teacher's writing on the blackboard to light a cigarette, smoke, smoke spit out of the window. Once, when the contract table was facing the window and smoking, the teacher turned his head, and the same table did not notice, and the smokeless nostrils did not stop. Only to see the teacher's eyes widen, stunned and said: I have smoked all my life, and I can't just smoke from one nostril, how do you do it? The same table was shocked, embarrassed to answer: I have a cold, a nostril is not open.

6. Met a big brother on the river a few days ago. He tattooed a carp on either side of his calf, one red and one black. The left side of the fish head is facing up and the right side is facing down. He was burly and hideous. While eating, someone finally asked about the meaning of the tattoo. My eldest brother lit a cigarette and said, "I was born on March 15, 1976..." We all pricked up our ears and waited for the next story that was destined to bleed. The eldest brother finished his cigarette and said, "I'm a Pisces."

7. Finally understand what is called sadness and joy.

Last winter, I bought a pair of pants, bought big, always thought about taking it to change thin, but lazy, one drag and two drag, the day is hot, can not wear pants.

I just cleaned up the closet, found the pants, and wanted to take them to change them, and wear them in the autumn.

Try it on the upper body, don't change it, now wear it just right.

8. In the Internet café, there is a man in his thirties and forties sitting next to him. I was playing with my eyes glancing at his screen, it seemed to be chatting on QQ, the other woman wanted him to open a video,

The guy actually turned the camera on me, and then he peed and went to the toilet. For humanitarian reasons, I dug my nostrils into the camera for a minute, and then the woman silently turned off the video.

9. Junior high school talk object parents are impeccable. High school talks about parents crossing the river and demolishing bridges. College talk can not be an object, parents began to have a variety of out of nothing! Now in order to achieve the effect of ten thousand arrows, constantly arrange blind dates, meet people to know that the girls who are happy to look like all kinds of southern barbarian invasion! It's hard to hit one of them but it's been taken by someone! Now that the food of the soldiers is cut off, no one has a good grain, and can only make a friendship with Jiyou Taoyuan.

10. Last winter, we talked about an object, and the object had several phone calls a day to greet and care, and in fact, it was also a check. That day, I was discussing a complicated process with my boss, and when the object phone came over, I just dropped it and called again, and I had to pick it up: I was busy for a while to get back to you. When I called for the third time, I felt that there might be an emergency, so I had to say to my boss: Answer the phone! Got up and opened the isolation door, walked out to the balcony, just picked up, the boss chased after me, handed me the outside trench coat I put indoors, while kindly reminding: Don't get cold, get dressed...

11. A beggar came to the door of the hotel, asked the front desk to ask for a toothpick, the front desk gave, after a while a beggar came again, and the front desk wanted a toothpick, the front desk also gave, and then came the third beggar, the front desk asked you also came to ask for a toothpick? The beggar said, I came to ask for straws, the front desk doubted, today life is very good, there are two beggars in front of me to ask for straws, the beggar said, no, just a person in front of the hotel door vomited, the front beggar has eaten all the dry, I can only take the straw to drink some soup.

#Funny Moment#Funny Paragraph##搞笑 #