1, the company has a plump and gorgeous young woman, once the company sent me and her on a business trip alone, after staying in the hotel it is more than ten o'clock in the evening, I lay on the bed, for a moment and a half can not sleep, so I played a game. Halfway through the game, a female colleague suddenly sent a message saying that there seemed to be a rat in her room and asked me to come and have a look. When I was playing the game, I had time to pay attention to her, so I quickly sent her a message saying, if there is a mouse, you can shoot it with your slippers. Unexpectedly, she actually scolded me with an elm knot, it was really inexplicable, my head was very bright, you see how slippery my game is!
2. After graduation, he worked in a company that entered the world's top 500 companies. Fill in the information when you enter the job, one of which is the need to write the career information of your parents. I referred to how the colleague next to me filled in, his father is an oil worker. But he filled in: Global Priority Resource Management. Another colleague's dad, who runs a hot pot restaurant, filled in: Restaurant CEO and Executive Director. I thought about it for a moment, and then wrote in the column of my father's profession: Joint Chest Crushing Big Stone Performance Artist. Mother's column: professional mahjong three missing one substitute!
3, my sister called and said that she invited me to eat at home, tens of thousands of tables, and let me go to the pressure field! I don't understand ah, tens of thousands of tables to eat nothing, what does the pressure field mean ah! I still went after the rain, and only then did I know that my sister had killed the Arowana raised by her brother-in-law, tens of thousands of them. Sure enough, as soon as I arrived, my brother-in-law was immediately honest, and the field was also suppressed!
4. At home for more than a year, I finally took the fire certificate. Once, a friend asked me to go to the kindergarten to take the children to a fire drill. When the classroom was smoking, I ran out with the children covering their noses with wet towels, only one child calmly did not run, I asked the child why he did not run in the fire, the child answered me slowly: This little smoke is not as big as my mother's fried tobacco, nervous?
5, a hotel door is a kind of rotating manual door (need to push hard to open), when a cute little Loli asked me: Uncle, can you help me push the door open? I said, "Yes." After I pushed the door, we went into the building together. I asked her: Is the door too heavy for you to push open? Little Lori replied seriously: No, I think the door is too dirty.
6. The cousin has been wide and fat since she was a child, and she has inherited her father, and the two of them are biological fathers and daughters at a glance. Cousin was admitted to a university in Shandong, the two of them went to report together, walked halfway to listen, someone shouted Zhou Fat Fat (her father's nickname), and then her father turned back to find someone to shout, looked at half a day without acquaintances, was wondering, then my cousin whispered to him: Go fast, call me...
7. Today is the final exam, and I have been reviewing it for a long time. During the exam, my table mate whispered to me, "What is the answer to the tenth question?" Me: "I don't know, A, B must be wrong anyway." Table Mate: "I also know that A and B must be wrong, so what do you choose?" Suddenly there was a sense of sacredness, and in order to live up to the trust of his tablemates, he said after some deliberation: "I choose C." Then I saw that the same table was very firmly written with the answer, and suddenly the inner cow was full of faces, and I couldn't believe that I trusted me so much! Take a closer look, it's written D...
8, in the morning to go to the park to run, did not pay attention to the mobile phone left on the park bench, I rushed back to find! I just happened to meet an old lady who picked up my mobile phone and wanted to put it in her pocket! I ran over to her and said, "Grandma, I dropped this phone!" The old lady glanced at me: "You say it's yours, you tell him to see if he agrees!" I shouted angrily, "Hey, Siri! Cell phone: "I'm listening!" ”
9, the man suffers from early lung cancer, the doctor instructed the man: every day must be less smoking, it is best to eat after smoking once. Two months later, doctors met men on the street. Seeing that the man's physical condition was worse than before, he asked: How did you become so serious? The man replied: I did what you said. The doctor wondered: Then how do you look more sick? Man: You want me to smoke a cigarette after a meal, and now I eat a dozen meals a day, and I can't stand it!
10. When I was in college, I fell in love with beautiful class flowers at first sight. Our relationship has always been above friendship, to the point where love is not enough, and I don't have the courage to confess to her. Now it's been 5 years since graduation, Benja is married, and I cried all day at home without going to her wedding. At night, I couldn't help it, and sent her a V letter: Tell the person next to you, please be kind to my youth. Then, her husband came to my house and beat me up.
11, the wife is on a business trip, too lazy to cook at night to go to the buddies' house to eat and drink. I joked with my buddies and said, "Just sand a chicken and make a dumpling, don't bother too much." The buddy said unceremoniously: "Sand chicken or dumplings, which is not a big project?" As far as your virtue is concerned, it would be nice to have the next instant noodles for you! "In the end, one of us ate a bucket of old sauerkraut.
#Funny Moment# #年度搞笑名场面 #
![One day, the old man who was doing the project rang his mobile phone, and when he saw that it was an old classmate who was a civil servant, he answered it immediately. On the other end of the phone: Hey, old classmate, I found you a project, do you want to do it? business[fig]](data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAP///wAAACwAAAAAAQABAAACAkQBADs=)