During the holidays, I drove alone to Mount Emei and found a hotel to stay in at night. At eleven o'clock, I was taking a shower when I suddenly heard someone knocking on the door, and I wrapped up my bath towel

During the holidays, I drove alone to Mount Emei and found a hotel to stay in at night. At eleven o'clock, I was taking a shower when I suddenly heard someone knocking on the door, and I wrapped up my bath towel to open the door, and found a beautiful woman with a bottle of red wine and two wine glasses in her hand. She said she lived next door to me, couldn't sleep because she had some coffee, and wanted to talk to me and have some wine with her. I gladly let her into the house. She said that her name is Xu Haiyan, is from Jiangsu, come here to travel, I asked her why she did not bring a boyfriend, she said with a bitter smile, I don't know where my boyfriend lives, what his name is. I smiled and said, what a coincidence, I don't know what my girlfriend looks like, what she likes, what she doesn't like. Xu Haiyan and I looked at each other and smiled, and felt a lot closer... Smelling the perfume on her body, I was fascinated... I didn't expect to go out on a trip, and actually picked up a girlfriend, which was really profitable. I whispered, "I'll be good to you in the future." She snorted, nodded, and said, "I believe you." Drinking the red wine brought by Xu Haiyan, we both imagined the future and felt extremely satisfied. We agreed that after we went back this time, we would quit our jobs and start our own companies together. We make money together, then buy a new house and a new car, and then we get married and work together until we are old. We also have a lot of children, play under our knees, call us mom and dad, think about it is very beautiful... We talked for a long time, we didn't sleep all night, a wave of sleepiness struck, Xu Haiyan's face gradually blurred in front of me, I yawned, my eyes were dark, and I fell asleep. I don't know how long later, I slowly woke up and found myself lying in a bathtub with a small note next to me...

2. In the past few days, the leader let my cousin and a female colleague go to the field to investigate the market, and take a sample back by the way. The two men ran the main business of the day during the day, and at night they ate at the local snack street and looked at the nearby scenery. Back to the hotel, my cousin just took a shower and lay down on the window on the colleague sent a V letter: "Can you come over and help me massage?" The cousin replied at that time: "It is all a business trip for my brother, why should I get used to you?" Tired of sleeping on your own! ”

3. My ex-girlfriend thought I was poor and dumped me, and then I worked hard and became the security captain of Evergrande Group in half a year. When I came home from work today, I saw a beautiful woman wandering in front of my house, and when I looked closer, it was my ex who I couldn't forget! Did she come to beg me to reunite? So do I say yes, promise, or promise? I was struggling with it, and she had pulled an invitation from her bag and handed it to me: Your best buddy will get married on the sixth day of the first month of next month, and ask me to help him send you an invitation. I opened it suspiciously, and the bride turned out to be her, my ex!

4. It's almost time to leave work, and the goddess of the company smiled and said to me: Are you free tonight? I looked at her charming smile, and I nodded busily: Yes, there is... The goddess took out a stack of documents from behind and stuffed them into my hand: "The boyfriend is coming tonight, please." Did you take into account my feelings, at that moment I even thought of the name of the child.

5. I took a photo of a 6,000-piece AJ basketball shoe on the Internet. I asked the customer service: Dear, I want to buy shoes from your store. Customer service: Pro, which one do you like to shoot it. Me: Can I buy your shoes with Q coins? Customer service: Pro, this does not work. Me: Then I will charge your mobile phone directly according to the price of the product! Customer:......

6. My girlfriend disliked me for riding an electric car and eloped with a man who drove a sports car. After half a year, my ex-girlfriend came to me with a big belly and said that I was the father of the child, and I married her when I was soft-hearted. After the mother knew that her wife was pregnant, she was very happy and accompanied her to go to the maternity examination. After returning, my mother took the initiative to take charge of the daily diet, and the meal was either chicken soup or eggs. Even the chicken soup is also a vegetarian dish, what is "chicken feather dish, pheasant fir". There was also a cocktail after the meal for my wife to drink alone. I secretly asked, "Mom, why are you so willing to give up all this time?" Chickens? The mother smiled and said: "The doctor said that eating more "chicken" food is good for the fetus!" ”

7. I heard that my ex-girlfriend was getting married, and I didn't sleep all night. Then I drove more than a hundred kilometers to her downstairs and slowly smoked a cigarette... It was getting dark, firecrackers were sounding, the convoy arrived, and she was beautiful in her wedding dress that day. When I drove a few kilometers with the welcoming convoy, I received a message from her: Don't send, don't send! Your tricycle is so loud.

8. When my sister-in-law made the morning fried egg paste, my brother began to teach my sister-in-law how to fry eggs. The sister-in-law listened very impatiently, and quarreled with her brother, and at night, the brother finally bowed his head and confessed his mistake! The brother first opened his mouth to his sister-in-law and said: I'm sorry, I was wrong! Sister-in-law asked: Say, where are you wrong! The brother said: I should not correct your mistake and let you stay like this. Sister-in-law: How do I listen, you are still blaming me!

  #Funny# #搞笑段子 #