I remember when I was a child, I was very kind, and a small mouse fell into the small pond at home, and then I was afraid that it would drown, so I took a branch and led it up, and the result... Yes, my little thumb was bitten by a rat.

I remember when I was a child, I was very kind, and a small mouse fell into the small pond at home, and then I was afraid that it would drown, so I took a branch and led it up, and the result... Yes, my little thumb was bitten by a rat. Don't ask how the little mouse ended, I was glad I didn't get vaccinated and live safely until now.

2, in fact, the house in a good part of the big city is still worth buying. The various rules issued by the state are not to make house prices plummet, but to curb speculative smart money and give our people the opportunity to get on the bus. Don't just look at the rent-to-sales ratio, don't just look at the rent-to-sales ratio, don't just look at the rent-to-sales ratio, say important things three times, look at the future.

3, when I was a child, I was very envious of rich people, but after work, I began to sympathize with rich people. Because they were so tired every day, they returned home, entered the courtyard door, and had to walk another fifty meters to the villa door. You have to walk another twenty meters to the lobby to the stairs, go up to the second floor, turn left and walk thirty meters to enter the bedroom, and walk another ten meters to lie on the window. Unlike me, I can say that getting off the subway is home, entering the house is the window, and happiness is seamless docking!

4, a girl in the office in her 20s asked a male colleague in his 40s with a beard. F: "How old are your children?" Male: "Not yet a child." Female: "I want one!" Male: "If you want to have conditions, right?" Woman: "Then what conditions do you want?" You see even the poorest beggar on the street has children. Male: "I have to have a wife" Female: ...

5, the funeral home drove out a funeral car, a child chased the car and cried: Dad, don't go. The people around them were very sympathetic and wanted to comfort them, when the funeral car stopped, and the driver got out of the car and said to the child: Don't make trouble, Dad will take you to play after work.

6, when the matchmaker introduced me to a restaurant for a blind date, we got along very well, I think she is the right person for my time. I asked her: Can you marry me? She told me: This is going to ask my boyfriend, and he agrees that I will marry you. I had a fight with him the other day, and he said I had no one to ask for him to leave, and I wanted to prove to him that I had someone to ask for. At this time, a man at the next table waved at me, and then I said to the matchmaker: When I introduce the object to me in the future, it is forbidden to bring a boyfriend!

7. On April Fool's Day in my junior year of high school, my table mate wanted to trick me, wrapped a bumblebee with cucumber flowers, put it in his mother's jewelry box, and showed it to me on the way to school. I was startled and shouted: Are you going crazy? Take out your mother's jewelry? At this time, in a van on the side of the road, a young man with yellow hair "whizzed" out and snatched the "jewelry" box, the van drove away, and before it reached the village entrance, the van crashed into a tree... People who want to "bee" don't have a good ending!

8, A: If your family has tens of millions of assets (villas, Ferrari, companies, 300w bank cards) what do you want? B: I want 300w, and I firmly believe that I can get more wealth. C: I want Ferrari, there is nothing to rent others can also be a girl. Ding: I want the company, I will make it a top 500. Me: I want if!

9, today the colleague's 3-year-old daughter came to the company to play, and everyone was saying: "The little girl is still very shy." At this time, the little girl asked her mother, "Was Dad shy before?" The colleague said: "If he wasn't shy, you would be at least 3 years older by now." ”

10, today is working, the boss suddenly found me. Boss: Your progress has been obvious lately, and this work has been done really well. Me: Nothing, it's all the bosses who teach well. Boss: I want to reward you, and your workload will be doubled in the future.

1 Go up to buy fritters today and find that the price of fritters has risen! Just ask the boss: how did the price of fritters rise? The boss said: The price of meat has risen! And I asked: What's the matter with the increase in the price of meat? The boss replied: I want to eat meat! I didn't know how to refute him!

12, my mother pulled me to the marriage agency to sign up, reluctantly followed! After paying a few hundred yuan for the registration fee, the staff asked me what I wanted, I looked up at the ceiling at forty-five degrees and said: "Be pretty, gentle, be in good shape, be considerate, be able to cook..." Before the words were finished, my mother slapped me on the head and said: "Don't listen to him, you can let me hold my grandson!" ”

13. On the street that day, I met an old classmate and her wife and children shopping! Seeing that his children were very cute, I said: Come, let my uncle hug. She said: No. I said: Uncle take you to play. She still said: No. I praised the good tutoring of my old classmates! Classmate: Don't go too far, she is already eighteen.

14, on the train to Chongqing, there is a handsome man sitting next to him nibbling on pig's trotters, and I also want to eat. So I took apart the chacha melon seeds, smiled and asked him if he wanted it, he shook his head, and then asked me out of politeness: Do you want to eat pig's trotters? I grabbed it and said, "Thank you."