1, one night I was drunk to take a taxi back to the public security department, the fare is 18 yuan, give the driver 50 yuan, the driver sees me drunk, just look for me 2 yuan, I will be drunk to see the driver, the driver asked me: you gave me more

1, one night I drunk taxi back to the public security department, the fare of 18 yuan, to the driver 50 yuan, the driver saw me drunk, just look for me 2 yuan, I was drunk to see the driver, the driver asked me: how much did you give me? I said 100 yuan, and the driver immediately said: Obviously it is 50 yuan. I looked at him again, and he looked for 30 bucks. I was still drunk and misty looking at him, and after an hour the driver cried, I thought that I had time anyway, just when the car woke up drunk, the provincial home wife did not open the door and was scolded!

2, the ex-girlfriend was pregnant, crying and crying to find me responsible, I refused, at that time we broke up for 1 year, what is the matter with me. Some time ago she came with a baby in her arms, threw me an appraisal, the child was actually mine, and said that I was responsible, I was completely messy, and instinctively suspected that the appraisal was false. The ex-girlfriend said there were still some things to show me, a pile of materials, villas, luxury cars, and millions of deposits... Forget it, since it's my baby, let's get back together. I was a person with a lot of feelings, and at night I asked her, "To tell you the truth, is the child really mine?" She said, "You guess? "I guess, how do I guess? Do you say you want to secretly do another appraisal? "

3, Da Lin usually does not like to smoke, this day at noon break, but he hid in the corner of a vigorous smoking, colleagues feel very strange, just asked: Da Lin, how do you smoke? Da Lin's face turned red: I can't help it, who let this 'red plum' smoke and my wife have the same name! The colleague smiled and said: It turned out that I was thinking of my wife. Da lin's face suddenly turned from red to blue: What, since she dared to hit me, and I was not a vegetarian, I dared to smoke her fiercely.

4, the first time I went to the old man's house to drink, drank a lot, the old man gave me 1,000 yuan from the dead and alive fortress. The next day the old man did not remember this incident, I had a clever move, often went to the old man to drink, and gave me money every time. Later, the old man drank more and more, and generally rarely got drunk. Until one day, the old man found that the wine treasured in the family was only empty bottles. Thought I had stolen the drink, and then beat me up hard.?

5. The husband is a maintenance worker of various forces groups, and he injured his hand during the work and was sentenced to a second-degree silkworm. The chairman lost more than 2 million yuan, and then let her husband recuperate at home. My husband saw that I had nothing to do at home, so he used the money to open a stationery store near the school and let me see the store. As soon as the door opened today, there were several junior high school students choosing stationery in the store. Then a mother and son came in, and the boy was like a little drunk, with a cigarette in his mouth, greeting several students who had come before him. When his mother learned that these children were classmates, she asked the boy to give cigarettes to her classmates, and I was stunned...

6. Married people know that there are more trifles in the family. When I came home from work to calculate the cost, my wife sat across from me again and nagged. A moment later, he said that this month's electricity bill was more, a moment he said that the water bill was excessive this month, and a moment later he said that the whole family must save all kinds of expenses. Finally finished nagging, did not forget to push me, reminded: I heard no, I just said so much. My wife pushed hard, and I pressed the wrong calculator key at once, only to hear a voice say: Equal to zero. My wife was so angry that she glared at me, and my son who was doing his homework on the side was already smiling and bending over.

7. After graduating from Shandong University, I have been in touch with my classmates in the V letter group. That night, the class leader organized a class reunion, I took my 5-year-old son to attend, and the class flower that I had been secretly in love for a long time also came. To my shock, Banhua's daughter turned out to be in the sixth grade. During the banquet, Ben Hua and I each left our mobile phone numbers. On the way home, I found that Ban hua's number had been saved one less. So I blamed myself and said: Alas, I always lose everything I do, and I can save one less number. After the son heard it, he comforted: Dad, it doesn't matter, I want her daughter's qq number, I have time to help you ask!

8. My baby daughter is five years old, preschool. Sleep dishonestly, two or three o'clock in the middle of the night, a bang, roll down the window. Then wow wow crying, the wife turned on the light and wrapped it up, stretched out two fingers and asked: How many is this? The daughter cried and replied: Two. The wife asked again: What is the equal of two plus three? Daughter answered: Five. The wife was relieved: did not fall stupid, continue to sleep... sleep......

9. The brother has been bullied by his wife since he got married. One day he couldn't help himself when he knelt on the keyboard on the balcony and decided to divorce. But he was afraid of hurting his four-year-old son, so he planned to discuss it with him. So he coaxed his son to say: Mother is old, not beautiful, is it okay to change your mother? The son thought for a moment and said, "No!" Your mom is so old, why don't you change your mom!

10, because the salary is not too high, so usually can save the province, buddy introduced me to a girlfriend, said that she is particularly frugal, and I must be compatible. We met at a restaurant today and I smoked a cigarette after eating. She silently took the P-stock of the cigarette and put it in the bag, and I asked her curiously why. She said: Collect your cigarette P shares from now on, and use the cotton inside to make you a quilt at the end of the year... My tears are coming down, where to find such a good and thrifty woman?

11. In order to marry the goddess home smoothly, I secretly bought a second-hand Maserati with my father's credit card. Today I drove to the goddess's rural hometown, and the rear wheel got stuck in the drainage ditch. There was no one nearby, and I suddenly thought of a video, someone encountered the same thing, he ordered ten takeaways, came to ten brothers to carry out, and then invited the brothers to eat some takeaway. I'm going to try it too, and then, I'll be around ten takeaway guys while eating and discussing which link is wrong!?

#Funny Moment# #年度搞笑名场面 #