1. Once on a train sleeper, the upper bunk was a young woman, very beautiful. At night, there were only two of us in the whole train room, and the young woman seemed to be a little frightened, so she climbed down from above

1. Once on a train sleeper, the upper bunk was a young woman, very beautiful. At night, there were only two of us in the whole train room, and the young woman seemed to be a little frightened, so she climbed down from above, and then said to me, you are a good person at first glance, you should not have any thoughts about me, right? I was surprised and said, good people also like beautiful women, you look so beautiful, I have ideas about you is a very normal thing. The beautiful woman said helplessly, then do you have a wife? I shook my head and said, I haven't married yet, and she asked again, do you have a girlfriend? I shook my head and said my first love was still there. She sighed and said, this is deep in the middle of the night, there are only two of us in the whole sleeper private room, you will definitely bully me, forget it, I will still be your girlfriend directly. I have a girlfriend for no reason, and I am quite dizzy, but this is also very good, and finally ended the single state. After getting off the train, I took her to a big meal, bought her jewelry bags and clothes, and her mood was obviously better, she smiled and said, I didn't expect you to be rich. I shook my head and said, I have worked for so many years, I have only saved tens of thousands of dollars, and today I spent all of it on you. She looked at me with a complicated look and said, You are really good to me, but your money has been spent, what should we do in the future? It's impossible to drink the northwest wind, right?

2. My wife wanted to eat braised pork, so I went to the market after work to buy two pounds of pork belly, and after taking it home, I washed it and took it to the chopping board and started cutting, when I accidentally cut my finger, and the blood fell on the meat.

Just when I was grinning in pain, my wife ran over and asked curiously: Husband, are you dripping blood to recognize your relatives?

3. At noon, the son went home to rub rice, nibbled two duck legs in a row, and was about to reach out to clip the third one, when the mother's hands were fast, and she stretched out her chopsticks to protect the plate. The son was stunned: "What? Mom: "It hurts my mother!" Son: "What?" My dear mother, am I not your own child? Is it so painful to nibble on two duck legs? Mother: "Son, it's a long story!" Watch you nibble on the duck leg and arouse the heart disease of the mother! Son: "Heart disease?" What heart disease? "Mother: You've been nibbling for twenty years, how long will you have to nibble on it before you are big?"

4. My wife went on a blind date with my sister, and I came to the company canteen for dinner at noon.

I was in line when suddenly a woman cut in front of me.

As soon as I saw that it was a beautiful woman, I was not embarrassed to say that she was, so I took her hand.

She turned her head and stared at me: "You are neurotic, do I know you?" ”

I pushed her out and scolded, "I don't know what you're in!" ”

5 I went to college at Tsinghua University, and it was only an hour's train ride from school to my house. Once I ran home without greeting home, and when I got home at night, I found my mother at home. The next day, he was woken up by the landline at home, and he picked up the phone in a daze: "Hey..." Dad was stunned and shouted: "Who are you?" How in my house! I woke up instantly and shouted, "Dad! The father was instantly at peace: "Oh son, when did you come back?" "Me: ...

6 I was almost 0.5 points admitted to Tsinghua, and I had no choice but to go to Lanxiang Technical School to learn excavators. One lunch break, I went to the cafeteria to eat and found a small common cabinet in the cafeteria dedicated to putting cutlery. Because there is no rule on who owns it, who grabs it is whoever grabs it, and only needs a lock to lock it. I was greedy, went directly to the commissary to buy three locks, and then occupied three cabinets. Because my surname is Wu, my classmates have always called me Wu Sangui, insulting to this day!

7. A college roommate is so smart that today he came and told me a way to make money quickly. The roommate said to me: You give me a hundred dollars, I will take you as an apprentice, and I will immediately teach you the experience! I took the money out of my pocket and handed it to him, but he took the money and turned his head to leave, and I quickly pulled him and asked: You haven't demonstrated yet? He smiled mysteriously and said: I have finished the demonstration.

8. Today my cousin came to the house as a guest and looked at me watching "Classroom in the Air." The cousin said: "Cousin, you are not small, some websites as a brother I should also tell you!" I blushed and said, "Brother, that's not good!" Then my cousin told me the website, and I excitedly opened the computer and entered the URL! See the title above with high school student knowledge contest questions! My face was black!

9. Girlfriend recently took diet pills, said can not eat and meat, specialized in eating fruit, and very perseverance, have insisted on 10 days, today to her nest, ready to take the scriptures, join the slimming brigade, close to the living room, just in the middle of the pile of 10 boxes of apples / several rows of bananas, and a large washbasin on the table to cut the apple mixed with garlic, I went... Yarn fat reduction... Here's a reason to eat fruit...

10. The most painful thing is not getting drunk, twenty drinking and doing stupid things friends to help you remember. In the evening, the brothers drank wine and ate skewers at the stall. Drinking and drinking, Xiao Zhao wanted to urinate, so he ran to the edge of a small tree not far away to solve it. After finishing the work, I couldn't go anywhere, so I fell asleep there. When I was about to leave, I found one less person, so I found it, and found it by the side of the small tree, and it turned out that this cargo used a belt to tie itself to the small tree!

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