1, today the son broke a glass, after being criticized by the daughter-in-law to go to the corner penalty station, at this time the daughter-in-law girlfriend just came to my home as a guest, saw the son in the penalty station, the daughter-in-law girlfriend joked: Your mother is so bad to you, let your father change your mother, I will give you a new mother. The son said lightly: Then can you pick me up and take me to school every day, buy me snacks every day, and give me pocket money to spend? The daughter-in-law's girlfriend smiled and said: Of course. The son snorted and said: No wonder last time my mother said that you had a crush on my father, and now she wants to be my stepmother. Emma, is this what a three-year-old is saying?
2, when running in the morning, passing the gate of Zhanshan Temple, I met the fortune teller, and before he could speak, I quickly flashed past him with a speed, and vaguely heard the master say: "Boy, you will come back to me." I smiled back dismissively, and half an hour later I went to the master and got my phone back. The master is not ignorant of gold, the conscience of the industry.
3. Father: "Son, what kind of work do you want to do when you grow up?" Son: "Plumber." Father: "Huh?" Why do you want to be a plumber? Son: "Don't be a plumber, be a takeaway, or be a repairman, or be a postman." Father: "Little King, have you seen my treasures?" ”
4, female colleagues borrowed me 500 yuan last month, said 3 days to pay back, this is a month, no way I had to take the initiative to ask, she said: "Brother, I am planning to tell you about this matter." She said: "Today at the class reunion, you pretend that my boyfriend went with me, and I will pay you 500." That way, won't we offset it, and I won't owe you any money, right? "My focus is on boyfriends, money is not money, offset it. 500 to 500, as if it really canceled out. Who has a good IQ, pour it down, is that what it is??
5, the girlfriend is a woman, but also want to school sports team. Once I went out with my girlfriend, bought an ice bully empty space and there was no one, and I looked up to see that I had run away with others. Angry, I went home alone, and my girlfriend came back in a depressed mood. When he entered the door, he punched and kicked and scolded angrily: "Where have you been, the old lady chased three streets before snatching the bag back." ”?
6, the boss held a meeting and said: Our company is full of talents, the old Zhao salary of the conveying room is one thousand, but there is a son with hundreds of millions of assets, the cleaning aunt is paid nine hundred sons to drive a Mercedes-Benz, the typist Xiao Li salary is one thousand two and there are five villas in the family, why don't these people follow me regardless of the remuneration, because they know that the future here is bright. And everyone here, which salary is higher than them, and as long as everyone does a good job, the salary will be raised in the future! Every time I listened to the boss's chicken soup text, all the employees would be full of enthusiasm and energy. Until one day, the truth came out, it turned out that the old Zhao of the communication room was the boss's father, the cleaning aunt was the boss's mother, and the beautiful typist was his wife.
7. When I returned to my hometown on New Year's Day, I suddenly wanted to go to the primary school I used to have. In the blink of an eye, six years have passed, and when I arrived at the entrance of the primary school, it was still a familiar scene, and there was still a big black dog lying on the door of the family next to it. I approached it, and it lowered its head to lick its paws, so I leaned over and picked up a small stone and threw it at it as I had done then... Then I went to the clinic I had been to six years ago.
8. I went to my hometown once, and my fourteen-year-old cousin was at home, and she was eating snacks on the couch. When he saw a bug next to him, he made a special voice: Sister, worm, worm. I said are you afraid of worms? She said she wasn't afraid. As a result, he ignored the worm and continued to eat and drink, and he also ate very much. I said second sister, there are worms on the table, she especially calmly caught the worms, slowly and leisurely pulled the worms into two sections, and threw them into the trash can.....
9. The daughter of the colleague is very polite and takes the initiative to say hello as soon as she enters the door. At this point, my son is far behind, the boy has a lot of personality, even if he is mobilized, he will not necessarily scream. The daughter of the colleague is also very cute and talks and behaves like a little adult. In the evening, I asked my son, "You see, the little girl who came here today is about the same age as you, what do you think of her?" "In fact, I mainly want to encourage my son to learn from others through his son's impression of her. As a result, the son actually asked, "Do you want me to fall in love with her?" ”
10. My wife and the president went on a business trip to other places, and my sister-in-law came to me and said that she wanted to eat hairy crabs. I drove the Maybach to RT-Mart to buy 10 hairy crabs, cost 999 yuan, paid for it, and then I left. At this time, I vaguely heard the cashier shouting: "Handsome man! Handsome guy! Handsome guy! "I didn't pay attention, the security uncle ran over and gave me the car keys." The uncle said somewhat angrily: "People shout for half a day handsome, everyone turns back and you don't return, it seems that you still have self-knowledge." "
11. In order to save without wasting, Pippi was hungry for 3 days. Take a few dozen yuan to the cafeteria and want to earn back all the previous ones! Just as the wall was about to enter, the manager of the restaurant came out, shook my hand and shook it vigorously: Big brother, don't be like this! Give your brother a face, this is a hundred dollars you take, I will buy you a ticket opposite, you go to the opposite to eat! Pippi not only ate back for three days, but also earned 100 yuan!
#Funny Moment# #年度搞笑名场面 #
![You say strange no, I don't do anything as soon as the neighbor doesn't do anything, just play mahjong and can talk about five daughters-in-law. When he was young, he went to the city, and in order to marry his wife, he wore a white shirt and leather shoes, preferably[fig]](data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAP///wAAACwAAAAAAQABAAACAkQBADs=)