1, the boss sent a notice in the V letter: ready to collect wages, a see the account of 8400 yuan. Casually said: the salary of 8400 yuan has finally arrived. Colleagues listened and said: Strange, how I only 8400 a reconciliation, last month on the 3rd of the two of us together to the company. I'm 28 days, 300 bucks, isn't it 8400? I said how come you are only 27 days, get it wrong, look for it. Colleagues say forget it! I said no, I must go. I dragged my colleague to the lead office, and I said that my colleague worked one day less. The result was perfect, and I wittily asked the beautiful woman in the finance department to push for 300 bucks.
2. When I went abroad to study, I had a crush on the class flowers in the class, and I was a beautiful Ukrainian beauty. That time I met her at the door of the cafeteria, I shoved the love letter directly into my hand, and then ran. Unexpectedly, she actually handed this love letter to the class teacher. The class teacher opened the love letter and looked at it, then called me to the office. The class teacher smiled and said, "Your boy has made progress, he has been teaching you for three years, and my brother once found that you did not digress when you wrote an article!" ”
3. Today, when my son came home from school, I made oysters and scallops in the oven early to make up for my son. When my son returned, I took the oysters out of the oven, found that the color was still a little worse, obviously the heat had not arrived, and said to myself: "Alas, this time it was not baked well." The son standing next to me whispered to me, "Mom, it doesn't matter, I didn't do well in the exam this time, so we were evened out." ”
4, a few days ago a few friends in a chat, a friend asked me, if a train on the track, according to the normal track, will hit 5 children who are playing, and on the other track only one child, if the track controller in front of you, will you change lanes? While I was thinking, another friend suddenly said firmly: Don't change! 5 People's Fault Why Should One Person Bear It? Since the day I hit him, I've been impressed by him!
5, the landlady called me over, saying that there was something to discuss with me, I did not dare to slacken off, riding on a bicycle and rushing over. An hour later I arrived at the landlady's house, and the landlady said to me with some anger: You see you are tired, what else can you do when you come? I said to the landlady: Although I am physically tired, my brain is still very flexible, and it is no problem to discuss things. The landlady said: I see that your brain is not flexible at all, so go into the house and rest.
6, the wife went out to buy a bunch of bags back, answered the phone on the road and ended up with a Bentley, the driver is also a girl. The girl jumped out of the car, still holding a mobile phone in her hand, and her wife kept apologizing. The girl gave the mobile phone to her wife, and the wife naturally helped her take photos with the Bentley. The girl sent a circle of friends, and also wrote: There was a little car accident today, it feels cute! Then, the girl drove away with the Bentley, leaving the little wife in contemplation.
7. I graduated from high school and have no skills but to work in a small factory. My husband is engaged in real estate, and my wife often feels that I have no ability and will only work with people. When I came home today, she said this again, and I said: I will have many subordinates in the future, and there are many of them, and there are hundreds of people who are my subordinates. She said: Have you been promoted, or have you been promoted by another boss? I said, "No, I've become the leader of the group, and there are hundreds of people in the group!" Suddenly, a slipper flew over, only to hear my wife yell: Don't come back at night!
8, today I met a fortune teller, he gave me a calculation: boy, you can live to 89! Just to him, the brother happily threw him a hundred pieces, and flew up the motorcycle to run wildly, thinking: Brother Life is willful! At that moment, I heard the fortune teller shouting: 89, 88, 87 fortune teller, count you fierce!? Once she came downstairs to me, said that the sewer pipe in the bathroom at home was blocked, let me go upstairs to help her dredge it, I rushed to get the tools, and followed the beautiful woman upstairs, but in five minutes, I helped the beautiful woman dredge the sewer pipe in the bathroom. The beauty was very enthusiastic, made me tea, pulled me to sit on the sofa and chatted, which made me feel overjoyed and overjoyed, and we quickly became acquainted. Since this day, the beautiful woman has gone downstairs to ask me for help in everything in her family, and I have not refused to come, and every time I am eager to go upstairs to help her solve the problem. One day I came down from the stairs and came home to find that there was a young man in the house, so I asked my wife who this man was and why she came to our house. My wife said lightly, he is a neighbor downstairs, I want him to go upstairs to help our family repair things, dredge the pipes!
9, want to make a joke with my wife, slap her ass. I didn't expect to shoot her, massage, hot compresses! None of them are good. The key is that the wife is angry, and the shopping cart that clears more than 5,000 fast money for her is not good. Go to the hospital for examination, the staff smiled and told me: "Boy, there is nothing wrong with your wife's ass, that is, the panties are small, Le!" ”?
10. When I was in school at Zhejiang University, I spent well with the school, and after having her, the expenses were particularly large, and I could only rely on credit cards to live hard. Later, after graduating, I went to work in life insurance and worked hard every day. As soon as my brother's monthly salary came down, I immediately repaid my credit card. I called my girlfriend and said: Alas, after being a kanu for so long, I finally paid off my credit card today, and I feel debt-free and light. Girlfriend: Of course, you are penniless now, not light. Now it's not just light, I'm still feeling a little cold.
11, usually looking for the goddess to chat, she did not pay attention, today looking for her to chat, she actually replied: "Do you have an HS website?" "This is my strong point", I quickly replied: "Of course there is, what's wrong?" Goddess: "Then go and see it, don't bother me." ”
#Funny Moment# #年度搞笑名场面 #
![You say strange no, I don't do anything as soon as the neighbor doesn't do anything, just play mahjong and can talk about five daughters-in-law. When he was young, he went to the city, and in order to marry his wife, he wore a white shirt and leather shoes, preferably[fig]](data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAP///wAAACwAAAAAAQABAAACAkQBADs=)