Yesterday afternoon I went to the Internet café to play a game of CF, challenging the model of giving treasure chests. A teammate was very envious when he saw my Purgatory Gatling, and he sounded like a schoolboy. He's a tough one

Yesterday afternoon I went to the Internet café to play a game of CF, challenging the model of giving treasure chests. A teammate was very envious when he saw my Purgatory Gatling, and he sounded like a schoolboy. He called my eldest brother in his voice and begged me to lend him a play, and I threw the gun to the ground. He picked it up and ran, I thought he was starting to get into the game, who knew he said: This gun belongs to me! Then quit the game.

2. Disciple: "Master, please teach me the martial arts of self-defense?" Master: "Disciple, what kind of self-defense skills do you want to learn, there are too many martial arts for the master!" Disciple: "It's the ones you usually use, such as kneeling washboard legs that don't hurt, and those who can't get purple when they're hit by sticks!" Master: "Roll..."

3. "How did yesterday's contest to recruit relatives make such a big storm?" "Don't mention it, Miss Zhao Er said that no matter who it was, as long as she won the battle, she would marry, and the Quanzhen Sect's gang of color elders did not ask for the number of people when they heard it, and actually used the Seven-Star Sword Array to decide the winner or loser." "Such a grandson! Who did the bride marry in the end? Really married seven? "Hey, you don't know how fierce the Seven-Star Sword Array is, the bride died that tragically."

4, in the evening, a few of dad's friends pulled him to drink, and when it was very late, he didn't come back, so my mom asked me to call my dad and ask when he would come back, and then he didn't have to come back an hour late. I took my mother's mobile phone and called my father: "Dad, what are you doing?" Not coming back yet?" As a result, another man's voice came, and I suddenly became vigilant, quietly hid and whispered, "Who are you?" How did you get my dad's phone?" After asking for half a day, I found that I found the "dad" in the address book and dialed it.

5, at noon to go to the bank to save money, when queuing up, a beautiful woman asked me in the back: "Is it to save money?" Me: "Oh! Beauty: "I just want to withdraw money, anyway, you have to save, it is better to give me the money, so you don't have to queue." "I thought it made sense, so I gave her the money

6, the old home has put a scooter, the first car, or second-hand bought, the back to buy a new car to think about can not sell a few did not sell, has been put no one to drive. New Year's back to home, ready to use, a layer of ash on the top, can't help but take pictures and send friends circle of friends to complain: a year, my car, ah, you suffered. Almost instantly, I received a reply from the students in the circle of friends: Sister, you finally released it, this is good, the people and cars are reunited. Friend replied: The day inside is still good, a cigarette is a few people taking turns to smoke??? This group of dice...

7. Why do Chinese call talking big talk about bragging? Once upon a time when the sheep was slaughtered, the butcher would cut a small opening in the leg of the sheep, put his mouth up and blow in it vigorously, until the whole body of the sheep swelled up, and with a gentle pull with a knife, the skin would split on its own. This is called blowing a pig or a blowing sheep. Whoever says that you can blow up the cowhide is talking big, because the cowhide is so big and so tough that it can't blow it up at all. So bragging is synonymous with big talk.

8, this person has a very good set of speech, there is a woman who believes what I say, I will take her 10,000 yuan. Thought it was seamless! As a result, she shrewdly found out yesterday. She asked her husband to fix me with extreme cruelty, snatched my phone, and imprisoned me. Humiliated, I did not dare to speak up, at most I said: "There is a bottom line for educating my son, don't punch your face!" ”

9. After graduating from the University of Geology, I went back to my hometown to open a waste recycling station. In the afternoon, I rode three bungees to a sea-view villa area to collect paper shells. A young woman was renovating her new house, and the door was full of useless outer packaging, and she called me over to collect it. I weighed it, she asked how much it was, and I said 260. Just as I took out my wallet and prepared to give the money, she said: Too expensive, 200. I was still confused, she gave me 200 yuan to go, leaving me alone in the wind messy...

10, many of the inventions used now have deviated from the original intention of its invention, such as the mouthwash used now, which was first used as a surgical preservative, and then used to mop the floor for a long time, until people found that it was more suitable for gargling, it officially became a mouthwash.

When I was a child, my cousin had a stomachache and wanted to vomit out, so I thought of a trick, stuffed his mouth with a cosemble and squeezed a few drops into it. Not to mention, it really worked, the cousin vomited. Not because Caesarux was easy to use, but he later heard that Caesarux was already used...

12, marry your husband, even if you bring a dowry of 200,000 yuan, if your husband can accompany you for 40 years, it is 5,000 yuan per year, divided by 365 days is 137 yuan. That is to say, from the beginning of marriage, every day with thirteen yuan and seven dimes to let a man go to you to earn money, buy clothes, buy a house, and sleep with you at night, and honor your parents! Now what can society buy for thirteen yuan and seven cents? Not enough to eat a bowl of spicy hot! In the future, be nice to your husband, don't be useless for a day.

13, squatting in the toilet, a low voice came from the next door: "Dude, I want to trouble you!" I sighed, cut the toilet paper in half, and handed it under the baffle: "Take it and use it!" The other party was silent for a while and said: "No, my mobile phone is out of battery, can you borrow me to play, no mobile phone can not be naturally excreted!" ”

14, squatting in the toilet pit, suddenly a low voice came from the next door: "Dude, I want to trouble you!" I sighed, cut the toilet paper in half, and handed it under the baffle: "Take it and use it!" The other party was silent for a moment and said: "No, my mobile phone is out of battery, can you borrow me to play..."