1. A woman was caught by her husband on the spot, and her husband brandished a kitchen knife and asked her: "What did you say before you died?" She said, "This is the end of the matter, if you want to kill, you will be cut down, and you will not say anything."

1. A woman was caught by her husband on the spot, and her husband brandished a kitchen knife and asked her: "What did you say before you died?" She said, "It's over, if you want to kill, you have to be slashed, and you, the untrustworthy person, have nothing to say." Husband: "When did I stop talking?" Wife: "Didn't you say you wouldn't come back today?" ”

2. Three months ago, the unit transferred a small girl, beautiful not to say, and the phone calls continued all day long. At first glance, there was a large group of chasers, and the unit men surrounded her in a bunch. Although I was also quite impressed, but in romance novels and bubble TV series, it was said that a different man could attract such a favored sister, so only I stubbornly did not open my mouth to talk to her. Every time he had a cold face to her. This day is about to leave work, the little girl finally can't help it, seeing that there is no one around, she ran to me and said something that I will never forget. She said: "Big brother, don't blame the little sister for my fast mouth, if you have a physical illness, you can cure it early~" ??

3. The old man danced square dance with Aunt Wang next door, and was seen by the mother-in-law who came back from buying vegetables. As soon as the old man entered the house, the mother-in-law went up and scolded him. After the brother-in-law saw it, he also stretched out his small fist and hit the old man. The old man said grievously: Why did you beat me and not your mother? The brother-in-law righteously said: Mom is a mother, but I don't know if your father is a parent!

4, this day the boss came from abroad to a big project, colleagues are very excited, the boss said that since we are so excited, let's finish it today. Hearing this sentence, everyone's mentality collapsed, but there was no way, after all, people are paid. The boss said solemnly, "I hope you finish him before you leave work!" Me: "Okay. "The next morning, the owner came to me early in the morning. Boss: "Why hasn't this thing been done yet?" Me: "I'm not off work yet!" ”

5. Last week, under the guidance of my colleagues, I tried to buy lottery tickets for the first time, and I didn't expect to win 80 million. The poor exploded rich, I was a bit drifty, directly mentioned a brand new Audi A8, spent eight hundred thousand. Took his daughter-in-law out to let the wind out, but unexpectedly met his ex-girlfriend. Don't want to take care of your ex-girlfriend, ex-girlfriend: I heard that you are married, I haven't seen you in all these years, you are still such a poor sour. Daughter-in-law: What? Do you still have a daughter-in-law? So are your feelings for me fake? Then why do you want to buy me a house and a car! The ex-girlfriend was confused and left. Such a witty daughter-in-law, I think it is okay!?

6. When I was in the third year of high school, we paid attention to academic performance in our school and strictly grasped the opportunity to fall in love. The class teacher watched as fewer and fewer people came out to exercise for several days in a row, and there was no one in the classroom. Later, it was found that they were all hiding in the woods behind the building in pairs to make love. The class teacher went to the squatting point, grabbed 6, ran 1, and finally just gave the boy who ran a punishment. He said: "Such a small thing to throw the girlfriend down, you have to teach a lesson!" ”?

7. The company's senior management held a celebration banquet, and several of our project participants were drinking red wine and chatting in a small corner. Lao Wu, the commissioner of personnel, talked about the problem of the car, saying that his brakes were not very good to use, and he had to honk the horn in time every time. Lao Wang of the R&D department looked at the traffic flow coming and going and said: The brakes are not good, and your seat adjustment is related! Everyone looked at Lao Wang with admiration and asked: How should the seat be adjusted? Lao Wang took a sip of Xie Baina and said: Under normal circumstances, the saddle is adjusted downwards, so that if the braking system is not timely, you can also use the foot brake... ???

8. After graduating from university, I interned in a hotel, and today A guest came to check out. After the guest gave me the money, I said: "Sir, do you know, in the United Kingdom and the United States, gentlemen in general, will find the change of money, to the waiter to do tips, I see you are quite gentleman, or, you don't let me find change, give me a tip?" Customer: "Sister, I bought a bottle of water for two dollars, and what I just gave you is a hundred!" ”?

9. When the college entrance examination was approaching, my father invited me to Haidilao for dinner. At the dinner table, I said to my father, "Dad, when I finish the exam, you will buy me a Maybach s560." Dad: "Okay, as long as you can get a score of 700, I'll buy it for you immediately." "So I studied day and night, and finally scored 716 points." I happily said to my dad, "Dad, what about my Maybach?" My dad: "I didn't buy it, because I said 700, and you took the 716 exam!" Me: "Dad, you actually tricked me!" ”

10. It was the second year of junior high school, and my mother heard the news of my smoking from the mouth of my neighbor, so she went home and told my father. My dad asked: Are you sure? My mom shook her head, and my dad said, "Look at me." After dinner, my dad gave me 50 yuan to buy two packs of Liqun National Color Tianxiang. I said: This is not enough, there is still 2 pieces. My dad nodded to my mom: OK, fight!

11, I and my husband have been married for two years, it just so happens that my husband is a year older than me, last year was his life year, I bought him six pairs of big red panties. This year is my life year, and I thought I would have to buy two pairs of red panties to wear. I told my husband about it, and he didn't care. I said angrily: You have red panties to wear in this life year, can't I wear red panties in this life year? My husband looked at me and said, "You can wear mine!" I still have a one that I haven't worn.

#Funny Moment# #年度搞笑名场面 #