1, the cousin was just newly married yesterday, and today he was admitted to the hospital. I went to see him with a gift, and my sister-in-law was standing in front of the hospital bed, with a shy face. While my sister-in-law was out, I asked, "You."

1, the cousin was just newly married yesterday, and today he was admitted to the hospital. I went to see him with a gift, and my sister-in-law was standing in front of the hospital bed, with a shy face. While my sister-in-law was out, I asked, "What are you doing?" Cave flower candle night fight? Cousin: "When I woke up this morning, your sister-in-law found that there was one more person in the bed, and she kicked me out without even thinking about it!" ”

2, when I was a child, I went to the river with my uncle to take a bath, at first I did not dare to go into the water, my uncle said that he was fine, my uncle tried the depth of the water in front, I carefully followed behind my uncle. Suddenly, my feet slipped, and I immediately wrapped my uncle's thighs, and my uncle threw me away with a strong flick, and the river was full of drinks. After my uncle fished me up, he patted my chest and said, "You scared me to death, I thought there was water pulling my legs!"

3. The chairman gave me two bottles of Wuliangye, and after work, I took it to my father-in-law's house. The old man was particularly happy and asked his mother-in-law to cook for me. The mother-in-law steamed the bun stuffed with pork and shallots, and the hot one just came out of the pot, I tasted it, and my tongue almost burned me. I told my mother-in-law to wait for a while before eating when it was cold, and my mother-in-law had a disdainful expression on her face, picked up the bun and ate it in three bites. The mother-in-law proved to me: See? Not hot at all! My brain twitched and blurted out: Mom, have you heard that dead pigs are not afraid of boiling water? Then, now I'm not afraid of being hot...

4. I became the head of Futukang at the age of 30, with an annual salary of 500,000 yuan, which can be described as a young and promising. The company's cleaning aunt saw that I was so good, and introduced me to her niece who was a flight attendant. Today we met at Starbucks, and the people are really beautiful. But a mouth is asking for how much of the monthly income, how big the house is. I listened so badly that I said, "Why don't you go to heaven?" She said solemnly, "I'm resting today." ”

5, I said to the nurse: pretending to be a girlfriend once thirty thousand, she agreed, and less than three months later she ran to me angrily and asked me, how long are you thirty thousand times, it will not be a lifetime. I asked her how long you thought it would be appropriate, and she smiled and said, "As long as you don't want the jewelry your parents gave me back, it will take as long as possible." It feels like it's a long-term plan!...?

6. Today, my brother and sister-in-law came to my house in a huff, and as soon as they entered the door, they quarreled. I said impatiently, "Why did you quarrel again, and why are you fighting today?" My brother said, "Your sister-in-law actually raises pigs in the bedroom, do you know how bad it smells?" I said, "Then why don't you open the window for ventilation?" My brother was astonished and said, "Then don't all the pigeons I raise fly away?" ”

7, the brother's brother is out all the year round, as long as his brother comes home, his sister-in-law will quarrel with his brother, and when he quarrels, he will leave the faint mouth. Brother: You think I don't dare, do you? Go now, his brother has a team of brothers said: Drive your car over. When they got into the car, they were still arguing, and the brother turned on the music to make them stop. However, as soon as the brother opened it, it was "Happy To Break Up", and his sister-in-law and his brother were extremely cruel to the brother's methods!

8, yesterday I went to the big brother's house, the big brother is angry, I asked what is wrong, the big brother said that the nephew is going to quit school. I turned to my nephew and asked, "Xiao Qiang, why did you quit school?" The nephew replied, "The school meal is so hard to eat, I can't stand it!" I asked, "You go to school to learn knowledge, not to enjoy, how can you quit school because the food is not good?" Nephew: "I went to cooking school!" "I.....

9, the father-in-law is an old lottery player, often go to buy the big lottery, the other day he used the little uncle's birthday to buy lottery tickets, the result turned out to be more than 000 million. The father-in-law was happy and broke, and immediately bought a house for the little uncle in Country Garden. After living for a long time, the little uncle became familiar with the owner of the breakfast shop at the entrance of the community. The owner is very nice to the little uncle and will give him a tea egg and a bottle of milk every day! Later, the little uncle never had a girlfriend. The boss said, "I have two daughters, so choose one to get married!" At that time, the little uncle was stunned and asked, "Uncle, why are you so good to me?" The boss said quietly: "In fact, your mother is my first love girlfriend, and then we broke up, I still like her, I went to your house downstairs to open a breakfast restaurant, so many years, I have been taking you as my own son!" ”

10. At noon yesterday, Old Li went to the village to eat a big table. During the meal, Old Li chatted with a 23-year-old boy next to him. The young man laughed and said, "I have nothing at my age now!" Old Li said as a person who came over: "Boy, don't worry, I only had a car when I was 29 years old, i bought a house at 35 years old, I married my daughter-in-law at 37 years old, you must have a car in a few years, you will buy a house in a few years, and you will marry a daughter-in-law in a few years..." The guy looked at Old Li stupidly after listening to it, and then he said embarrassedly: "Uncle, I got married last year..."

11. When I went to work today, I saw my colleague frowning, so I went over and asked him what was going on. He said: I am very entangled in this bathing thing now. I said: What's so tangled about taking a shower? Colleagues said: When I don't take a bath, my wife abandons me sloppy and gets angry with me; when I take a bath, my wife thinks I want to go out and mix with other women, and she is angry with me! Heck, what a magical creature a woman is...

#Funny Moment# #年度搞笑名场面 #