1. When I met my first love at the classmate meeting, she took the initiative to greet me: "How old is the child?" "I said I wasn't married. The first love's face darkened: "Are you still waiting for me?" Don't be silly, I won't let you

1. When I met my first love at the classmate meeting, she took the initiative to greet me: "How old is the child?" "I said I wasn't married. The first love's face darkened: "Are you still waiting for me?" Don't be silly, I won't let you get mine. I sneered and ignored it. The class leader came over and said, "Old classmate, last time you borrowed me 3 million, can you pay it back next month?" "I said yes. When the first love saw this, she couldn't help but move closer to me and whispered, "You can still chase me now!" I moved to the side, "I won't let you get mine." After the first love left, the class leader came over and shook my hand and said, "Old classmate, I'm interesting enough.... Give you a long face. "I quickly pulled my hand away, this dead fat man has a crush on me for ten years, and his heart will not change.

2, the original is equivalent to a bowl of rice, at the beginning I like to eat, eat every day, suddenly one day to eat enough, I want to eat snacks, snacks are equivalent to small three. When I tasted the fresh taste, I didn't like to eat rice, so I abandoned rice from then on. Eat snacks every day, one day the body is very bad, go to the hospital for examination, the doctor recommends that it is best to eat rice! After listening to the doctor's words, I went home to find rice, but when I arrived home, the rice had already been eaten by others.

3. The mother-in-law became pregnant after the birth control ring came off, and finally gave birth to a sister-in-law. Now that my sister-in-law is 28 years old, she still hasn't found a boyfriend. That day, the sister-in-law complained to her mother-in-law: "Mom, I blame you, when I was in elementary school, I didn't let me fall in love early, so that I don't have a boyfriend now!" The mother-in-law smiled and said, "Do you know why I didn't let you fall in love early?" The sister-in-law shook her head: "Why?" The mother-in-law sighed and said, "If you had known you couldn't find a partner, how sad would you have been all these years?" ”

4, my girlfriend and I have been in love since elementary school, and we are very iron. Whenever I buy anything, I will share it with her. Last night my girlfriend messaged me and said: Honey, I found out that my husband has a woman outside and is mad at me. I comforted her: Don't be angry, he may be confused!! Girlfriend: I want to divorce him, but I don't want to have children, what should I do? I was silent for a while and said: "Or will you give him some 'color' to see?? The girlfriend thought about it and then nodded. This afternoon my sister called me and said, "Sister, I just came home from school and saw my brother-in-law shopping with your girlfriend's hand!"

5, the company's manager is particularly addicted to smoking, at least five packs of Chinese a day. Today he was smoking and coughing. I advised him: "You are like this, you can't quit smoking?" He said, "I can't quit!" Quitting to give birth to people. Me: "Don't tear it up, if you don't smoke, will you die?" He said, "No, your sister-in-law said that if I could quit smoking in my life, she would die." ”

6. The boss came to Xiao Liang's house to visit and asked Xiao Liang why he did not go to work these days. Xiao Liang said, "I don't want to do it!" Boss: "Why don't you want to do it?" Xiao Liang: "Because I don't want to do it, but I don't approve every resignation!" Boss: "Which absenteeism can achieve the goal?" Xiao Liang: "It should be, Gangzi was fired by absenteeism!" Boss: "Sorry, now is the rush period, you have been absent from work for three days a day, this month's production capacity award, full attendance award is not, but will not be fried!" Xiao Liang: "Exactly 3,000 pieces, then I will leave myself!" Boss: "Please feel free, 10,000 yuan please temporary workers can please 3!"

7. After divorcing my wife, I borrowed my husband's 85,000 to run quickly, and at one o'clock in the morning I entered the station for security checks. A handsome guy "huff" ran in and said if he could let him advance, his car was about to arrive at the station. See him so anxious, decisively let him stand first! When the results were checked, the staff said: You are the ticket in the early morning of the 6th, and it is now the early morning of the 7th! Poof, what's that, handsome guy, I didn't mean to laugh out loud...

8. The sister-in-law drove the newly purchased Maserati past the melon stall and stopped the car to buy melons. She asked the boss, "Boss, how much is a pound of watermelon?" "Boss.."8 mao a pound, keep cooked and sweet." Sister-in-law: "Forget it, I'll go back to the community supermarket and buy it!" The boss said: "1 piece of a pound in the supermarket, why do you want to buy there?" Sister-in-law: "Because 8 cents a pound is not easy to calculate the account!" ”"

9. When I was in high school, we evaluated with an anonymous teacher in our school and asked students to rate the teacher. I wrote down my most intuitive feelings at that time, and as a result, I was called to lecture after class. The teacher said that I did not respect the teacher behind my back, and I was anonymous, so how did I know that I always said bad things. A glance, I went, the whole class evaluation is all praise, very disciplined with their own name, I am anonymous. Has the darkness of society permeated the school!?

10. One of our colleagues, who went to a meeting without a pen, took a pen from a female colleague's desk. As a result, I was angry when I wrote it, and I threw it on the table: what a broken pen, I can't write it. The female colleague took the pen with a trembling voice and shouted, "You turtle, this is my eyebrow pencil!" You all wrote me bald!?

11, one day I took a taxi home in the middle of the night, after opening the back door, I thought I should still remember the license plate, so I closed the door and went around to the back of the car to take a look, and the car ran away. I think the driver must have been weak-minded, fortunately did not take this car. So I waited, and ten minutes later, the driver came back to me and said, "Why didn't you come up?" I heard the car door close thinking you came up, asked where you were going, turned around and no one, this most of the night scared me to death...

#Funny Moment# #年度搞笑名场面 #