1． The wife noticed that her husband had recently had some bad breath and took the time to accompany him to the hospital. The doctor stopped her outside the clinic, pale and lowered his voice and said, "The examination shows your husband, three days ago."

1． The wife noticed that her husband had recently had some bad breath and took the time to accompany him to the hospital. The doctor stopped her outside the clinic, pale and lowered his voice, saying, "The examination shows that your husband died three days ago." The wife was stunned, turned her head to see her husband coming out of the examination room, naturally stepped forward to hold his hand, and said as usual, "The doctor said that you have been a little on fire recently, and I will give you soup later." Do you prefer winter melon ribs icon, or carrot corn? ”

2． Today the company pays wages, I have 280 yuan in the card, I asked the cashier what happened, she said that it was the female boss who confessed, I was angry and rushed into the female boss's office, shouting: "Boss, what do you mean, I am a big man, you give me 280 yuan a week..." The female boss glanced at me and said: "It is a month's living expenses." I was even angrier: "That means 70 bucks a week... I'm a big man, what do you want so much money for? The landlady smiled and said, "You... I just like your breathy and domineering look, okay... Take the flowers, you are not easy, ten yuan a day and smoke, but also eat breakfast. "The moment I went out, I was in tears.... My monthly salary was originally 12K, and now it is planted in the hands of these ladies, and I will give ten yuan a day for living expenses.

3． I went to a bar with an old rich man and was spotted by my boyfriend, who was heartbroken and offered to break up with me. Now, more than 5 years after graduating from college, my ex-boyfriend still can't forget me, and specially mailed me a box of betel nuts. When the goods arrived, my husband asked me what it was, and I told him it was a specialty of the South. My husband was immediately excited, and if he had to taste one, I gave it to him. Half an hour later, my husband suddenly knelt in front of me, his face was red, his forehead was full of sweat, and he only said one word: What you give me, the antidote to me...

4． Dad was a worker in Qingdao Volkswagen, and he often broke his fingers when he worked. Later, I bought a pair of gloves, which was much more convenient to work. It was night shift that day, it was raining, and Dad took a taxi home. When I got into the car, my father felt a little cold, so he took out his gloves and put them on. The driver saw it in the rearview mirror and asked with a look of trepidation: "Big brother, what are you doing here?" Dad: "Oh, I'm used to having gloves every time I work, so I don't cut myself or leave a trace." "The driver was frightened at the time, immediately threw the car and ran...

5． When I was in chemistry class today, the teacher asked a question, which was a multiple choice question. The table mate whispered: D. I was silent for a moment and said, "C." The teacher looked at us and then said, "It's good that Mr. Chen was able to stick to his wrong answer." After sitting down, the teacher gave us this question. After class, I asked at the same table: Why don't you believe me? I replied helplessly: I was full of crisp noodles, and as soon as I said D, it all squirted out.

6． My cousin's ex-girlfriend got along with the manager on a business trip, and he decisively cut through the mess. After a week of sadness, I soaked in my ex-girlfriend's best girlfriend. Today is their wedding, I don't know who invited his ex-girlfriend, his ex-girlfriend behaved generously, and specially picked good food when eating. The newcomers came to toast and greet his ex-girlfriend. His ex-girlfriend didn't wait for them to open their mouths, and dried up: you two faceless finally got together, congratulations. And then the dust is gone.

7． Secretly used the poor student bursary to buy a king glory full of inscriptions full of skin number, back home can not wait to play. My mother slapped me when she came home from work and just entered my room, and she grabbed my ear and went to the living room and said, "Look at the peanut shells you eat!" I quickly broke free of my mother's clutches: "Oh, this is not what I eat." The mother said, "Who else can you eat, it can't be a dog!" "So I threw a peanut at the dog, and he grabbed it, bit it, spit it out, ate the peanut kernels, and did it all in one go!"

8． Last night, I made braised pork, and my daughter-in-law was about to stretch out her chopsticks to clip it, when my son on the side stopped: "Mom, aren't you losing weight?" You can't eat fatty meat! "The daughter-in-law was helpless, so she could only give up and eat green vegetables." Then my son put a few large pieces of fat meat into my bowl in a row, and I was touching my son to know that it hurt people! The son came and said, "Mom, let your father eat the fat, he's fat, those aunts outside will definitely not like him, it's safe."

9． I have a lot of addiction to smoking, and I always come after eating every day. After eating last night, the lighter in my pocket broke down. It was cold and lazy to go out to buy, looking for something that did not find a cigarette for half a day, and sat on the sofa and watched TV depressedly. Suddenly I felt a sharp pain in my toes, and I looked down to see my son holding a red-hot chopstick in his hand, smiling triumphantly at me. Without waiting for me to speak, my son said first: I just want to tell you that I can burn chopsticks in the kitchen, and I can't light a cigarette?

10． My cousin became a store manager in Haidilao, with a monthly salary of up to 680,000 yuan. The daily work is particularly easy, causing her to run more and more, and recently planned to lose weight, running every night and night. Today she told me that running on that avenue at night was too dangerous. I advised: If you are afraid of encountering bad people, then don't go. Cousin: No, there are a lot of barbecue stalls over there, every night when I run back, I go to order a lot of barbecue to eat, not only did I not lose weight, but I also gained 10 pounds

#Funny##Funny paragraph# #搞笑幽默趣闻 #