1, the husband is drunk and late, the wife has a plan, want to test whether he has an affair, so he put on lipstick and deliberately kissed a few bites on the husband's clothes! The next day, the husband woke up drunk, and the wife was born

1, the husband is drunk and late, the wife has a plan, want to test whether he has an affair, so he put on lipstick and deliberately kissed a few bites on the husband's clothes! The next day, the husband woke up drunk, and the wife was angry: What were you doing outside last night, you look at this lipstick mark! Husband looked at it and laughed! Wife: You made a mistake and laughed! Husband: Wife, don't be funny, such a big lipstick mark, who else but you has such a big mouth!

2, tonight is my girlfriend's birthday, I took her out to dinner on the way back, I don't know which 1 + 1 goods throw banana peel, directly let me fall a dog to eat SHI. My girlfriend smiled happily at first sight, and then began to stomp her feet again, presumably because I was hurting. I comforted her and said, "It's okay, I don't hurt." My girlfriend pulled me up and said, me! You just lay on the ground like a turtle, but unfortunately I didn't take my phone out, otherwise I would have taken a picture of you! ”

3. When my son was still in kindergarten, I once went to pick him up, and there were turtles for sale at the entrance of the school, and my son had to buy them. That turtle has been breeding for six or seven years now, and yesterday it laid eggs inexplicably! At that time, the wife did not hesitate to steam it for the 5 sons to eat. After steaming, the son leaned back against his back and tasted it with a serious face. I asked him with a hungry eye, was it delicious? He nodded and said: Delicious. I swallowed and asked: What does it taste like? He said solemnly: male egg flavor! But I still don't know what it tastes like...

4. In order to aspire to my parents-in-law, I am trying to help my brother-in-law marry an aunt and grandmother at home. Daughter-in-law was spoiled by her parents when she was young, and after taking it home, she was simply an aunt, in order to let her parents-in-law taste this taste, she found that every day after work I went to hungry to deliver takeaways, and strived to make more money for my brother-in-law to quickly buy a house to marry a daughter-in-law. Yesterday, it was two o'clock in the morning after delivering the takeaway, and I went to a spicy hot restaurant for dinner, and the VIDEO on the wall was stocking pigs. I blurted out: Big fat pig! As a result, a big fat man sitting next to me sat up with chopsticks: What do you say?

5. Yesterday afternoon I came home from vacation and told my mom that I was hungry. My mother said to me: I'll go and fry you a bowl of egg fried rice! I felt so good at home eating egg fried rice, and then my dad came back and told my mom that he was hungry. My mom replied, "Wait a minute, I'll go make you a few dishes now." I looked at my egg fried rice and I was sure I was biological.

6, the aunt went to get a live duck, want to go home and make roast duck by herself. When I got home, my uncle took it and went to the kitchen to prepare the sand duck. Just when the cousin saw it, he saw that the cousin's fingers were dipped in duck blood and smeared on his face, and he took a picture with his aunt's mobile phone. Then he sent it to the class teacher with a message: the child's continuous fall was bleeding, and he needed 5 days off. My aunt was stunned to see the text message later.

7, today and my wife went shopping, just passed by a KTV. I said to my wife, "I really want to take you out and experience the charm of KTV!" Wife: "Do you know what kTV is?" Me: "Isn't that where you sing?" My wife looked up at me: "It's K you a meal, T you a kick, and finally make a V gesture!" ”

8, just got engaged last year, stayed at my father-in-law's house, I slept with my father-in-law, and my wife slept with my mother-in-law. That night my father-in-law went out to play cards and didn't come back until after four o'clock in the morning, and told me: If your mother asks, you say you will come back at twelve. After dinner in the morning, my mother-in-law asked me: When did your father come back late? I said: It's almost twelve. The mother-in-law listened to the scolding: Little bunny cub, you know that you are not honest! Your dad has recruited, and you are still panicking... Afterwards I asked my father-in-law: Why don't you prompt it? The father-in-law laughed awkwardly and said: A person is scolded for being too lonely! Instantly killed!

9, the boss of our company is a local tycoon, the salary likes to directly find gold. Today I came out of the finance room with a salary of 5,000 yuan. The colleague said: "The 500 yuan borrowed from me last month should be repaid, right?" I laughed at Mimi, "I was supposed to pay it back, but I was late twice this month, and the finance deducted the 500 yuan." ”

10. After work, I saw that there were oranges for sale on the side of the road, so I thought of buying some. The boss picked up a few spots and said: Beauty, this kind of unsightly look is actually sweeter. I asked: Is it because The orange thinks she doesn't look good, so she tries to make herself sweeter? The boss was slightly stunned: No, I want to sell out early and go home. This year, there are not many such honest bosses.

11. Yesterday I went to my mother-in-law's house with my wife. The mother-in-law found several younger brothers with the same surname as his wife to eat together. At the dinner table, a few single brothers asked: How did you catch up with my sister in the first place, we don't have a girlfriend yet, teach us. I took a sip of wine: bold and careful, not faceless, stalking and willing to spend money... Just when I was talking about the dragon flying phoenix dance, I was actually splashed with a cup of cold water by my wife, and I woke up in an instant.....

#Funny Moment# #年度搞笑名场面 #