In the morning, I ate early on the side of the road, and saw that a woman had to lead her son to eat early, she asked her son for 3 tea eggs, her son Bu liked to eat, and he heard this powerful mother say: Eat it all,

In the morning, I ate early on the side of the road, and saw that a woman had to lead her son to eat early, she asked her son for 3 tea eggs, her son Bu liked to eat, and saved this powerful mother who said: Eat it all, so that you can skip school by strength! How could my mother save this realization?

2, in the morning on the side of the road to eat breakfast, saw a woman leading her son to eat breakfast, she asked her son for 3 tea eggs, her son does not like to eat, I heard this powerful mother said: eat all, so that you have the strength to skip school! My hate, how come my mother didn't have this realization?

3, in the morning to eat small dumplings, found that there are only 7, less than one, so ask the boss, the boss is still very good, very polite, "sorry brother, may be the package when put one less, so I give you a big bun, count the up, what do you want to eat trap?" As soon as I listened, this dared to be good, the saliva came out, and at that time I said, "Bring me a big meat bun!" The boss looked at me sadly and said, "Except for the meat." ”

4, a neighbor a boy in the second year of junior high school he does not like to study, usually like to follow his grandfather to learn to unlock. Yesterday I forgot the key, my parents were not at home, and asked him to come and help. Only to see him look at the door lock and shake his head and say: This lock is difficult to open. Then simply get on your feet, kick the door hard, and the door opens. I kind of saw it, and said to him: It turns out that you learned to open the lock and practiced this footwork!

5, the end of the year, there are always friends to borrow money to go home for the New Year, I said I do not have surplus money ah, or you have to borrow the above to borrow it, when I explained the loan process matters, he understood, hurriedly said: such ah, no, no, this kind of borrowing to repay no!

6. After returning, the store manager asked me: "Rumors, your company talked with the one-armed rich man yesterday?" Me: "Yes, originally there were achievements signed, who knows I was excited..." The store manager: "What's the matter?" Me: "One excitement, the sale was messed up by me!" The store manager: "Ah! How? Me: "I was so excited that I shook hands with him, but the handshake was too strong and pulled his prosthesis down!" The store manager: "..."

7. In class, the teacher called the same table to answer the question, and he was silent for half a day. I thought he wouldn't, and whispered, "Pick A!" The table was silent for a while and said, "C." The teacher looked at us and said, "Good look, stick to your own answers, although you did it wrong..." After class, I asked my table mates: "Why don't you believe me?" I told you to choose A! Table Mate: "I was full of crisp noodles, and as soon as I said A, I squirted it all out." ”

8, the teacher asked a question in class, asked a boy, "What are you going to do when you grow up" The little boy said: "I will become a bather in the female bathroom in the future." Just as the teacher was amazed, the boy continued, "So that my mother won't have to work so hard!" ”

9, explicit hint several times, let the husband take time to get a marriage license, this goods is always for various reasons to prevaricate. I couldn't bear it and yelled, "Don't you want to get your marriage license?" Husband: "Is this not good, Mingli and I are husband and wife, secretly only count as boyfriend and girlfriend, dual identity, how exciting." ”

10, in the afternoon on the street waiting for the former roommate, quite bored to go to the mall to hang out, suddenly a sexy young woman called me: "Handsome guy help my husband try on clothes?" You're about the same size as him. Me: "That's not good, I'm not suitable." She: "It's okay he's not home these days, I want to surprise him." "I want to say your sister bought a pair of panties to try a fart,

1 A couple is diving to get married, and a woman who came to the wedding sighed: "Diving is really the best way to get married!" Her husband asked incomprehensibly, "Why?" The woman said: "This can remind the new person that from this moment on, we must learn to swallow our breath."

12 Once upon a time, there was an old bachelor who went to the neighbor's house every time he went to the house where people were good to eat, and wanted to rub a meal. Start the neighbor in a polite position and say, "Eat something, huh?" And he said, "Eat something, eat something." "That's a rub. Often the neighbors do not speak politely when they eat. He said to himself, "Guess I've eaten?" The neighbor said, "You ate." He said, "You guessed wrong, I didn't eat." The neighbor had to smile bitterly and said, "Then you can eat something." ”

13, these days the heart is quite unstable, looking at the year-end flow of people is getting bigger, involving more departments, densely crossed, but there is no way to recruit new employees, so the idea is tangled and messed up... Thinking like this, I looked up fiercely, and I didn't feel that the calendar on the wall was only a thin stack, and I gently tore off another one, presumably I couldn't escape

14, today with a few buddies to drink, and later after drinking too much, they get together to see the beautiful women in the bar. Several brothers discussed head-to-head where to see the beauty should be seen first, and everyone's opinion was different. Some say to look at the chest first, some say to look at the legs first, and some gods say to look at the eyes first, if she doesn't look at me, I will look at her breasts and legs again! And I, on the other hand, am different, I will first look at the criminal law!