1, yesterday the daughter-in-law went to the bathhouse to take a bath, came back to me and said that there was a woman with a very large boy who also bathed in the bathhouse, and the daughter-in-law asked the woman: Big sister, how old is your child, and bring it in

1, yesterday the daughter-in-law went to the bathhouse to take a bath, came back to me and said that there was a woman with a very large boy who also bathed in the bathhouse, and the daughter-in-law asked the woman: Big sister, how old are your children, and also brought into the women's bathhouse to take a bath? The woman said: Still young, only 5 years and 7 months! The daughter-in-law said: Oh, my family has a husband of 5 years and 240 months, and I will bring it in next time!???

2, in the evening at the entrance of the community stalls selling squid, came an aunt to pick several for me to grill. I looked at the squid he had chosen, smiled and said: Eighteen pieces of five, give eighteen on the line! Auntie looked at me and said, "Okay, help me add some more sauce and cumin." After I had packed up, I handed it to my aunt, who said while she was going to pick it up: How is it so expensive, fifteen dollars, otherwise I don't want it! I listened for a moment, smiled and withdrew my hand and said: If you don't want it, please go slowly. After saying that, he turned around and threw the grilled squid in his hand to the stray dog next to him.

3. In the past, the father-in-law's house was small, and every time he accompanied his daughter-in-law back to his mother's house, I either slept on the sofa or made a bunk. In the first year of marriage, he accompanied his daughter-in-law back to his mother's house to live, and at night, after the old man smashed a table leg in front of me and my daughter-in-law, he turned back to his daughter-in-law and said: "This table leg is enough to make a good deal, and at night someone dares to come here, and the table with missing legs is his end!" Looking at the three-legged table, I couldn't sleep...

4. Ever since I went to work in my mother's Maserati, the goddess has become more and more enthusiastic about me. Today the goddess invited me to eat spicy hot, and even asked me to bring my ID card. I reacted at that moment, and finally it was time to show my strength. Then the goddess took me to an internet café to play LOL for the night. Now I feel like I'm holding a chocolate in my hand, but it tastes like in my mouth!

5. My daughter-in-law is the daughter of our boss, who has never done housework before. When I came home from work today, I found that my daughter-in-law had actually made me a fried rice, which was the first time she had married me. As a result, when I tasted it, it was too salty, and the rice was dry and difficult to swallow. My daughter-in-law asked me expectantly: Is it delicious? Thinking of the daughter-in-law's difficulty, afraid of discouraging her enthusiasm in the future, he replied: delicious, it is too little! The daughter-in-law breathed a sigh of relief: Great, then you are all-inclusive, it is rare that you like it! I don't think it's to my taste!?

6. When I came home from work this afternoon, my daughter-in-law came to me and said, "Honey, do you know what day it is?" How come my mom is suddenly asking this question! It looks like something is going to happen... At that time, my nervous sweat came out, and I said tremblingly: "I don't know... Dao..." I saw her smile slightly at that time and said, "Fortunately, you don't know, today is my girlfriend's birthday." "Oh my God! This is also too good to dig a pit, right!?

7. When my husband was working in a cement factory, he was accidentally injured and was judged to be a work injury, and the factory lost 1.6 million yuan. After getting the money, we lived a well-fed life, with meat at every meal. Last night, I made a plate of braised pork ribs, and my son quickly pulled it in front of him, eating it while boasting about the deliciousness. I was just about to stretch out my chopsticks to clip a piece, and my son said: Mom, you want to eat it too? I said, "Yeah, am I an ironclad who doesn't eat?" The son shook his head: Mom, I am the iron, you are the iron.

8, my girlfriend invested 600,000 yuan in me, so I opened a pet store, and today there was a customer who wanted to buy parrots. I said, "You didn't come at the right time, the parrot was bought two days ago, or you should buy a woodpecker." Customer: "Can woodpeckers talk too?" Me: "Woodpeckers are smarter and more practical than parrots and can type. ”

9. When I was in high school, I liked a girl in my class. Later, I went to great lengths and spent the whole night writing a love letter to her. At the end of class, I shoved the love letter into her hand, turned around and ran. The next day, she actually handed over this love letter to the class teacher, who personally returned the love letter to me. The class teacher also wrote a comment behind this love letter: the article is clean and elegant, the theme is clear, the level is clear, and the love between the lines is deep, good! In the end, it also rated 90 points! This love letter was the only essay I scored 90 in three years of high school!

10. Graduated from a medical university and worked as an attending physician in a hospital. Today, my father-in-law is unwell, so let me help see. But the father-in-law was a little shy, and covered his arms with his sleeves. After I took the pulse, I said: Nothing, especially normal. Father-in-law did not believe: Don't kid yourself, if I am not sick, what will you do to cut your pulse? I said to my father-in-law: I didn't say you were not sick, I said that your clothes are fine, because I am the vein that cut your clothes.

11. After graduating from college, I married a female classmate from the same town, and I was forced to do so. When I was in junior high school, she lied to me that there were people in my family who beat me up if they didn't listen to her. Then she took me around town and took something and didn't give her money back, and I was terrified. Every day after school, she carries her backpack to the village to help her with her homework. After getting married, I learned that the original stores were opened by her relatives.

#Funny Moment# #年度搞笑名场面 #