1． In the middle of the night, the father helped his son cover the quilt and prepared to turn off the lights, but the son suddenly trembled and said: Dad, there is someone under my bed, my father does not believe it, lie down to see, there is really a bed under the bed

1． In the middle of the night, the father helped his son cover the quilt and was ready to turn off the lights, but the son suddenly trembled and said: Dad, there is someone under my bed, the father does not believe, lie down to see, there is really a boy exactly the same as the son under the bed, the boy is dead tugging on the sleeve of the father, and said in a trembling voice: Dad, there is someone in my bed, I am so afraid, finally, the father beat the twin sons fiercely!

2． There was a boss who suddenly lay in front of a car and said that he had been hit by a car. The traffic police came, a check, is a car that has long been scrapped. The traffic police asked the owner: "How can you drive a scrapped vehicle on the road?" Owner: "This car can't be driven at all, not even a motor... Traffic policeman: "So how did you get here?" Owner: "We've been pushing behind, trying to push to the scrap station to dispose of it, who knows that this old man is lying in front of the car all of a sudden!"...

3． In a first-year ma zhe class at Tsinghua University, the teacher asked, "Where were the students when they first came into contact with the word "philosophy"?" Together, he stood up and replied, "Spring Festival Gala!" The teacher asked him incomprehensibly: "Spring Festival Gala?" How is the Spring Festival Gala? The student opened his mouth with a serious expression and sang: "Eighteen bends of the philosophical mountain road, nine consecutive links of the philosophical waterway..."

4． Today is the 18th birthday of Ben Xian's daughter, but no one remembers such an important day. I deliberately said in front of my parents: Whose birthday does it seem to be today? Dad patted his thigh: Today is our family treasure's birthday! After saying that, I hurried out of the house and came back with a small cake. I smiled and prepared to take it to eat, and then, my father fed the cake to little Teddy!

5. The sister-in-law does not do her business all day, often follows a group of spiritual boys to mix with gems, and is also obsessed with watching movies. Today at home to watch a movie, the result of the virus, blue screen, just call me to check it out. As a senior programmer, I watched it for 5 minutes and then asked, "Is this monitor of yours produced by Ha Liu?" The sister-in-law didn't understand this either, and casually replied, "Hmm." Then I said, "What Harbin Pharmaceutical Sixth Factory produces is blue screen." ”

6. The brother-in-law and his sister are engaged and buy a new house in Tomson Yipin, which is 100,000 yuan. Unexpectedly, the mother-in-law transferred 100,000 yuan to her brother-in-law with Alipay the next day. So the brother-in-law bought a house of 1800,000, and also bought 2 large toy pigs wrapped in bamboo charcoal, and put them on the sofa to absorb formaldehyde. One day, Dad and Mom came to visit the house. The second elder sat on the sofa drinking tea, and his mother suddenly asked: "This new house has formaldehyde, have you put anything to suck it?" Need to buy greenery? The brother-in-law said without hesitation: "Yes, there are two pigs sitting on the sofa helping to take drugs..."

7． I remember 3 years ago, I had an accident on the road and was pulled to the emergency center. When my family heard the news and came to the hospital to see me, my parents and brother-in-law were so distressed that they shed tears and kept comforting me. The little niece also wanted to say something nice to comfort me, but when she saw that everyone had finished saying the words, the little niece wiped her tears and said: Uncle, you are the first person in our family to take an ambulance, you are the pride of our family...

8． A rich man from India came to China to travel, got off the plane and booked a ticket back to India on the way to the hotel, and quietly left China without playing. After returning to India, the rich father asked his son strangely, "How did you come back when you first arrived in China?!" The son said with some trepidation: "It's not good, China is going to attack the mainland, the streets and alleys are posted with slogans, writing "print", "laser printing", "fast printing", door-to-door printing, 3D printing." If I hadn't run so fast, I'm afraid I wouldn't have seen you!" Father said: Thanks to the fact that you have learned a little Chinese before, thank you!

9． My ex-girlfriend came up to me and said she couldn't forget me, but was married and pregnant. I was so heartbroken that I was so drunk that I took a taxi home. As soon as I got into the taxi, the driver asked me, "Boy, have you been drinking?" I was a little surprised: "Yo! Master, your nose is smart enough, you can smell the wine on my body? The driver said, "What a smell!" You get off the roof of my car first! ”

10． As soon as high school starts, there is a sports day. I didn't sign up for any projects, but the PE teacher had to let me go for the sprint. To everyone's surprise, I really took first place. On the day of the award, the physical education teacher said to me: "A few days ago in the hospital, I saw a young man pulling his leg out when he was injecting, and the two doctors didn't catch up. ”

11. Soon after the new marriage, I found that my wife's stomach was bulging! I thought it was a joy and immediately took it to the doctor. After the doctor's examination, he said: Your stomach should live with two little people! I'm excited: Wow, twins? Doctor: No, it doesn't matter if one of them is called Tianna and can't eat any more!

12. One night I drunk taxi back to the public security department, the fare is 18 yuan, give the driver 50 yuan, the driver sees me drunk, he looks for me 2 yuan, I will drunkenly look at the driver, the driver asked me: How much did you give me? I said 100 yuan, and the driver immediately said: Obviously it is 50 yuan. I looked at him again, and he looked for 30 bucks. I was still drunk and misty looking at him, an hour later the driver cried, I thought I have time anyway, just in time to wake up in the car, the province's home wife did not open the door and was scolded!

#Funny Moment# #年度搞笑名场面 #