1, and the boss lady on a business trip, after returning to the boss lady pregnant, ? fired me, I was immediately angry, so I found the boss. The hostess said. Do you know why you were fired, I said

1, and the boss lady on a business trip, after returning to the boss lady pregnant, ? fired me, I was immediately angry, so I found the boss. The hostess said. Do you know why you were expelled, I said I don't know, didn't I buy milk powder for the child? The hostess said no, why do others send you a happy one next time? After saying that, he threw the beer lid on my head. Heck, how do people now know that this is power. There was no way but to look for a job. Find a factory, the security guard will not let in, there is no way but to say to the security guard: I came to find the daughter-in-law, the security guard said: Who is your daughter-in-law, say the name I am sure, just next to the list of excellent employees in the factory, I casually read a xxx. Then the security guard took the baton and began to beat me: She is my daughter-in-law, what is your relationship with my daughter-in-law. Then I was kicked out

2. After graduating from Normal University, my sister-in-law went to a key middle school as a chemistry teacher. A few days ago, the class teacher took sick leave, and my sister-in-law helped to go to the dormitory building to check the bed. After arriving at the boys' dormitory, my sister-in-law suddenly noticed that the windows in the dormitory were particularly dirty. She pointed to another window and said, "Look at how clean people's windows are." While talking, he went to wipe the glass on the window, and then, the sister-in-law suddenly found that there was no glass on the window frame...

3. On the train, the man is alone in the soft bed, and a woman pushes the door in and inserts the door. Open your chest, scratch your hair and say: Give 5,000 yuan, otherwise shout that you are flirting with me. The man was stunned for a moment, took out a pen and paper from his bag and wrote: I am deaf and mute, what do you want to do? The woman took the pen and wrote down what she had just said on the paper. The man smiled and closed the note to open the door: You can go out.

4. Driving a BMW Z4 home from work today. On the way, I saw a watermelon seller, so I bought one. When I got home, I cut it in half, and my mother took a spoon and dug it up and ate it, but she didn't take a piece of the ground steadily. I didn't expect her to pick it up and stuff it in my mouth, and when I saw that I was very surprised to look at her, my mother suddenly smiled and said: I'm sorry, I thought you were still a child!

5, after the death of the company's boss, the boss lady took over the company, I also successfully served as the company's finance, the result of a check, the company's books did not have a penny, I breathlessly went to ask the boss lady: "What about money? The hostess said, "Money, it's gone!" I said angrily, "Without a penny, you cheated me out?" The hostess said triumphantly: "I just said let you do finance, I didn't say how much you should manage!" I...

6, everyone says that married men have no dignity, I am different, I say one my wife does not dare to say two! For example, the day before yesterday, when I was visiting the mall, my wife said to me: "Husband, beach pants are only 9 yuan 9, buy you a strip!" I immediately objected: "Wife, I have only worn it for 5 years, it is very new, I can wear it for another 5 years, no need to buy it!" "The wife did not dare to speak on the spot!???"

7. My father used the 200,000 yuan for my daughter-in-law to buy a purebred Tibetan mastiff. After raising several puppies for half a year, the puppies were born half a month ago, and one of them did not open his eyes. I asked my father, "Daddy, why doesn't this puppy open his eyes?" The father said, "You give it a coin to try!" "I did what my father said, and sure enough, the next day, the puppy opened his eyes. I wondered, "What's going on?" The father said: "People see money with open eyes, and this dog is naturally no exception!" ”

8. Uncles and aunts have just been married for half a year and do not plan to have children, and as a result, contraceptive measures are not in place, and the aunt is pregnant. Thinking that he was reluctant to fight it, he gave birth. Today, my cousin is 4 years old and very naughty. Last night, the uncle pulled his cousin and said affectionately: "Baby daughter, you are the lover of the father's last life, the daughter of this life, the relationship between the two of us should be more than the mother's kiss, you said that the father is now in difficulty, should you help me!" The cousin looked at her uncle and suddenly shouted at the kitchen: "Mom, take care of your man, he wants to deceive me again!" ”

9. Friend: I was taught a lesson by my wife again, and I was really upset! Me: Look at you, this mentality is not right, you have to know how to defeat the other party psychologically, you learned me, and I have just been scolded by my wife, but I am still in a good mood, not affected in any way! Friend: Is there any secret, how did you do it? Teach me. Me: Actually, it's not a trick, that is, after my wife scolded me, I secretly sent myself an apology text message with my wife's mobile phone...

10, the husband in Foxconn after work, back home said: "Wife, we have opened a new shop near our home, there are more things in it, after eating I will take you there, you want to buy what you want, I invite guests!" "I was particularly happy, I didn't expect the straight man to open the trick, so I fried a few more dishes that he liked to eat, and opened a bottle of wine for him." After eating, my husband took me to the shop and said, "This is the store, don't be polite, just buy it!" Then the sound of the horn came from the store: "Pick and choose, buy anything for two dollars!" Two dollars, two dollars, you can't buy a loss..."?

11. Bai Jin's ex-girlfriend and the rich second generation have been running away for almost a year, and suddenly came to me with a child and said it was mine. Then the ex-girlfriend threw the baby straight to me and she drove away. I did a paternity test and found that the child was indeed mine, so I brought him up alone. Now that my son has gone to kindergarten, he just doesn't love to learn. Me: "Good son, Dad, please, your test scores must not drop again!" Otherwise, I won't be able to explain it to your mother!" Son: "Dad, you can rest assured, I will definitely not drop again this time!" Look, this is my exam paper..." I: "Huh? Zero points? It's all down to the end! ”

#Funny Moment# #年度搞笑名场面 #